Mike “Jan, you were molested … I mean just take a look at yourself”
Played by RuPaul 
But I'm a Cheerleader (2000) · 35 quotes
But I'm a Cheerleader (2000) · 35 quotes
6th most-quoted character in But I'm a Cheerleader (2000): in 4 of its 35 quotes
A line from MikeBoys! Don't you see how sad and pathetic you all are? Always wanting something you can't have. If I catch you looking at another man like that ever again, you'll be watching sports... the whole weekend!
More lines from Mike
1 quote Mike Scenes with Mike
2 scenes Mike I myself was once a gay. Now I'm an ex-gay, Megan. I work for a place called True Directions who help people, like yourself, to learn to understand the reasons behind homosexual tendencies, and how to heal them.
What tendencies? Why would you think I'm a...
Megan's Mom: You've been trying to make us eat this tofu.
Mike In diet, watch for a switch to vegetarianism.
Kimberly You don't have any pictures of guys in your locker, just these. [shows a photo of a girl in bikini]
Mike Mm-hmm.
Megan's Dad: And these. [her parents show a Melissa Etheridge poster and a Georgia O'Keeffe inspired painting]
Mike Sexual, even vaginal motifs in artwork and decorating. Gay iconography.
Jared You don't even like to kiss me.
Her friends [all together]: It's true.
I can't believe this.
Mike Denial is a normal part of the healing process that we'll explore at True Directions.
Healing?
Megan's Mom: Like rehab, honey. Homosexuals Anonymous.
Looks like we got you just in time. What are you? About 17?
Megan's Dad: Yes!
Almost lost her to college. It’s so much harder once they’ve been through all that liberal arts brainwashing, but we’ve saved a few.
I'm a heterosexual.
Mike Not yet, honey. You're almost there. And don't speak out of turn.
No, I know, I've never been gay.
Mike Jan remember, you were molested. And just take a look at yourself.
Everybody thinks I'm this big **** because I wear baggy pants, and play softball, and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I like guys. I can't help it. I want a big fat wiener up my...
Amen, sister.
