Jan quotes from But I'm a Cheerleader (2000)

Hilary

There's no inappropriate behavior allowed.

Megan

Inappropriate... like swearing?

Graham

No, inappropriate like ****.

Megan

Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.

Graham

Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.

Graham

You are who you are, the trick is not getting caught!

Megan

Then why are you here?

Graham

I got caught.

Megan

2, 4, 6, 8, God is good...

Graham

God is straight!

Megan

Hey, that's good.

Andre

Shit, Miss Mary, I ain't the only one who don't got no root.

Mary

Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions.

Jan

Everyone thinks I'm this big **** because I wear baggy pants and play sports and I'm not pretty like other girls. But all I really want is a big, fat weiner up my...

Andre

Amen, sister.

If that little twink would've narced on me, heads would have rolled.

Graham

What would have done? Tied her to your bed and zapped her to death? Or are you running low on batteries?

Megan

You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!

Graham

Where else would we go?

You're more than just a sissy. You're nice, and clean, and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and...

Andre

Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!

Mary

I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.

Graham

My mother got married in pants.

Mary

All right, let's see, Dolph?

Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.

Mary

Hilary?

Hilary

All girl boarding school.

Mary

Sinead?

I was born in France.

Mary

Clayton?

My mom let me play in her pumps.

Jan

I like balls.

Mary

Why thank you for that, Jan.

Mary

Joel?

Traumatic bris.

Jan

I'm a heterosexual.

Mike

Not yet, honey. You're almost there. And don't speak out of turn.

Jan

No, I know, I've never been gay.

Mike

Jan remember, you were molested. And just take a look at yourself.

Jan

Everybody thinks I'm this big **** because I wear baggy pants, and play softball, and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I like guys. I can't help it. I want a big fat wiener up my...

Andre

Amen, sister.