Joel Goldberg
[to Graham]
: You are so good at being straight.
Played by Joel Michaely 
But I'm a Cheerleader (2000) · 35 quotes
But I'm a Cheerleader (2000) · 35 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in But I'm a Cheerleader (2000): in 5 of its 35 quotes
Most scenes with: Mary (2), Graham (2), Andre (2)
No, I didn't go to the ****. I've never been to the ****. I won't. My cocksucking days are over. I am normal.
More lines from Joel Goldberg
1 quoteScenes with Joel Goldberg
3 scenes
There's no inappropriate behavior allowed.
Inappropriate... like swearing?
No, inappropriate like ****.
Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.
Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.
You are who you are, the trick is not getting caught!
Then why are you here?
I got caught.
2, 4, 6, 8, God is good...
God is straight!
Hey, that's good.
Shit, Miss Mary, I ain't the only one who don't got no root.
Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions.
Everyone thinks I'm this big **** because I wear baggy pants and play sports and I'm not pretty like other girls. But all I really want is a big, fat weiner up my...
Amen, sister.
Sinead
If that little twink would've narced on me, heads would have rolled.
What would have done? Tied her to your bed and zapped her to death? Or are you running low on batteries?
You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!
Where else would we go?
Joel
You're more than just a sissy. You're nice, and clean, and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and...
Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!
I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.
My mother got married in pants.
All right, let's see, Dolph?
Dolph
Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.
Hilary?
All girl boarding school.
Sinead?
Sinead
I was born in France.
Clayton?
Clayton
My mom let me play in her pumps.
I like balls.
Why thank you for that, Jan.
Joel?
Joel
Traumatic bris.
I just wasn't meant to be butch. I'm a sissy. [cries]
Joel
You're more than just a sissy. You're nice, and clean, and smart...and sexy and firm and luscious and...
Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved he's straight telling my ass how sexy I am! Congratulations, liars! You know who you are and you know who you want. Ain't nothing gonna change that, shit!
