Are we awake?
We are not sure. Are we...black?
Yes we are.
Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.
Bart
Cleavon Little · 28 quotes
Hedley Lamarr
Harvey Korman · 20 quotes
Taggart
Slim Pickens · 19 quotes
Jim, The Waco Kid
Gene Wilder · 18 quotes
Lyle
Burton Gilliam · 8 quotes
Lili von Shtupp
Madeline Kahn · 6 quotes
Governor William J. Le Petomane
Mel Brooks · 4 quotes
Mongo
Alex Karras · 4 quotes
Harriet Johnson
Liam Dunn · 3 quotes
Lily
3 quotes
Most scenes together: Bart & Jim, The Waco Kid (8), Hedley Lamarr & Taggart (6), Bart & Taggart (2)
Blazing Saddles quotes
Page 2 of 7Excuse me while I whip this out...
[People cringe back and a woman screams - he pulls out a letter - people sigh, almost sounding disappointed] Bart (continuing): By the power invested in me by the honorable William J. Le Petomane--
[People start cocking guns and pointing them at Bart] Bart (continuing): I hereby assume the duties of sheriff in and for the township of Rockridge.
Reverend
Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's not let anger rule the day! (waving Bible) As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to saaaayyy!
Reverend
[A hole is shot through the Bible; the Reverend turns to Bart]
Son, you're on your own. (exit Reverend)
Good mornin' Ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Lady
Up yours, ****!
Man, why you do that to yourself?
Oh, you don't really wanna know...
I do, I do!
Well, if you must pry...
I must, I must!
What's your name?
My name's Jim, but most people call me - Jim...I used to be known as the Waco Kid.
The Waco Kid, he was the fastest gun in the West!
Charlie Bart?
What?
Charlie Am I wrong, or is the world...rising?
I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it!
Charlie You shifty ****, they said you was hung!
And they was right.
Church Congregation
Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion / Our town is turning into...!
[TV EDIT: organist misses a note, deleting the s-word]
Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered? Innocent women and children blown to bits? We've got to protect our phoney-baloney jobs, gentleman! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately, immediately! Harrumph, harrumph!" [Other staff 'harrumph' as well] I didn't get a "harrumph" out of that guy!
Give the governor "harrumph"!
Staff member
Harrumph!
You watch your ass.
Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry, sir, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. You say that.
"Meeting is adjourned".
No, you say that, Governor.
"Meeting is adjourned".
Oh, thank you, Hedy.
No, it's HEDLEY!
Qualifications.
Rapist
Rape, murder, arson and rape.
You said rape twice.
Rapist
I like rape.
Charming. Sign right here.
Gum-chewing outlaw
Arson, armed robbery...mayhem.
Wait a minute. What have you got in your mouth?
Gum-chewing outlaw
[Stops chewing]
Noth-um!
"Noth-um", eh? Lyle.
Chewing gum in line, eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody!
Gum-chewing outlaw
[panicked]
...I didn't know there was gonna be so many! [Lamarr shoots him dead]
Qualifications?
Applicant
Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
You said rape twice.
Applicant
I like rape.
Raise your right hand... [Nazi's raise left] ...Right hand [Nazi's switch]. Repeat after me: I...
Brigands
I...
...your name...
Brigands
...your name...
Brigands
...do pledge allegiance...
...to Hedley Lamarr...
Brigands
...to Hedy Lamarr...
That's Hedley!!
Brigands
That's Hedley!!
...and to the evil...
Brigands
...and to the evil...
...for which he stands.
Brigands
...for which he stands.
Now go do, that voodoo, that you do, so weeeell!!!
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
Shit-kicker.
My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Ditto!
"Ditto"? "Ditto", you provincial putz?!