Bart A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is goin' to die!
Most-quoted character in Blazing Saddles (1974): in 28 of its 93 quotes
Most scenes with: Jim, The Waco Kid (8), Taggart (2), Lyle (2)
Uh sir, sir. He specifically requested two '****'! Well, to tell a family secret--my grandmother was Dutch.
More lines from Bart
9 quotes Bart Bart Well, don't just stand there looking stupid and holding your hands in pain. How 'bout a little (**** gun) applause for the Waco Kid? (Taggert and men clap)
Bart See, I knew you wasn't no Waco Kid. You was just pullin' my lariat!
Bart (taunting Klansmen)
Hey, where all da white women at?
Bart Baby, please, I'm not from Havana!
Bart Well raise my rent! You are the Kid!
Bart (holding his gun to his head)
Nobody moves or the **** gets it!
Bart Baby, you are so talented, and they are so DUMB!
Bart Alright, here we go. Hold your ears, folks. It's showtime!
Scenes with Bart
18 scenes
Charlie Bart?
Bart What?
Charlie Am I wrong, or is the world...rising?
Bart I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it!
Bart Excuse me while I whip this out...
[People cringe back and a woman screams - he pulls out a letter - people sigh, almost sounding disappointed] Bart (continuing): By the power invested in me by the honorable William J. Le Petomane--
[People start cocking guns and pointing them at Bart] Bart (continuing): I hereby assume the duties of sheriff in and for the township of Rockridge.
Reverend
Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's not let anger rule the day! (waving Bible) As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to saaaayyy!
Reverend
[A hole is shot through the Bible; the Reverend turns to Bart]
Son, you're on your own. (exit Reverend)
Bart Are we awake?
We are not sure. Are we...black?
Bart Yes we are.
Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.
Sheriff Bart So, since I am your host, and you are my guest. What's your pleasure? What would you like to do?
Oh I don't know...play chess...screw...
Bart Well, let's play chess!
Bart Man, why you do that to yourself?
Oh, you don't really wanna know...
Bart I do, I do!
Well, if you must pry...
Bart I must, I must!
Bart [Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain]
Stampeding cattle.
That's not much of a crime.
Bart Through the Vatican?
[smiling]
Kinky! Sign here. (Bart begins to sign, his dark-skinned hand showing)
Jim (thinking fast, talking mock-southern, pretending to scrub the back of Bart's hand): Rhett, how many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross-burnin's? (turns Bart's hand up, exposing naturally-light palm) See, it's comin' off! (Taggart pulls Bart's hood off).
Bart And now, for my next impression... Jesse Owens! (Bart and Jim sprint away)
Cease them! [fires a shot in the air] Catch them! Get them!
Hold up, men! We'll head them off at the pass!
'Head them off at the pass'?! I hate that clich?! [Shoots Taggart in the foot]
Bart Nowhere special.
Nowhere special. Always wanted to go there.
Bart Come on.
[Taunting the mainly-black rail workers]
When you was slaves, you sang like birds. Come on! Let's hear a good, old-fashioned **** work song!
Bart [Enraged ("**** work song...?"), the workers move to attack him, but are stopped by Bart: He promptly proceeds to sing...] [Crooning, Sammy Davis, Jr.-style, with fellow railworkers providing backing vocals]
I, get no kick, from champagne... Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all...[the bullying supervisors look immensely confused] so why then should it be true?...that I get a belt - outta you... Some get a kick from coca-yeai-yeaiiiinnnneee...
Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that shit?! I meant a song! A real song! Like [singing] "Swing low, sweet chariot"...
[The railworkers mumble to each other in mock confusion]
Don't know that one, huh. Well how about "De Camptown Ladies"?
Bart De Camptown Ladies?
Railworkers
De Camptown Ladies?
Oh, you know! "De Camptown ladies sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah! Camptown Race Track five miles long, oh-de-do-da-dahy!"
[The white supervisors begin joining in, complete with ludicrous dancing actions, much to the amusement of the railworkers]
Bart Good mornin' Ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Lady
Up yours, ****!
Charlie You shifty ****, they said you was hung!
Bart And they was right.
Bart All right, folks...Now I suppose you're all wondering just what in the heck you're doing out here, in the middle of a prairie, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night.
Crowd
You bet your...!
Bart [TV EDIT: horse whinnies, deleting the a-word]
I'm hip.
Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted? [sound of zipper opening] Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!
Bart [response omitted from final cut]
I hate to disappoint you, ma'am, but you're suckin' on my arm!
Bart [Jim grabs a liquor bottle]
Maybe you should have something to eat first.
Oh, no thanks. Food makes me sick [Takes a long drink]
Bart A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to die!
Bart What's your name?
My name's Jim, but most people call me - Jim...I used to be known as the Waco Kid.
Bart The Waco Kid, he was the fastest gun in the West!
Bart [pulls Bart out from behind a rock]
Hey, where are da white women at?
[The Klansmen chase Jim and Bart behind the rock and are quickly knocked out.]
Well, holy mother of pearl! It's that **** that went and hit me over the head with a shovel! Now, just what do you think you're doin' with that tin star, boy?!
Bart Watch that "boy" shit, redneck! You're talkin' to the sheriff of Rock Ridge!
Bart [DELETED SCENE: Bart dresses himself as a carnival barker and stands by a well in the middle of Rock Ridge]
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and...Mongos! Dive, dive, dive for buried treasure! This is the exact spot where the Spanish Armada was sunk by the British Navy, leaving millions and millions in Spanish dubloons at the bottom of the sea!
Bart Right on.
Mongo take chance!
[A moment later, Bart has dressed Mongo in a deep-sea diving outfit and positioned him at the top of the well]
Wait! Where Mongo get air?
Bart From this wonderful antique pump.
Good.
Bart [closes helmet faceplate]
Good hunting!
Bart [A moment later, Mongo is underwater at the bottom of the well; Bart stops cranking the pump]
Oh. Time for my lunch break.
[Down below, a card is lowered to Mongo reading "For More Air Deposit 25¢"; he pats himself down in search of a quarter]
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Don't pay no attention to that alky. He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot it.
[Jim preps himself by licking his finger and blowing it; Lyle, Taggart and their men take aim at Bart]
Like I said, on the count of three. One. Two. Three.
Bart [Jim draws both of his own guns, shooting those of Taggart and Company out of their hands. The railroad workers cheer and congratulate Jim, while the villains struggle to take in what just happened]
Well, don't just stand there lookin' stupid, grasping your hands in pain. How about a little applause for the Waco Kid?
[Taggart, Lyle and their men grudgingly applaud Jim.]
