A character in Black Christmas (2006)

Ms. Barbara MacHenry quotes from Black Christmas (2006)

Andrea Martin

Tied for most-quoted character in Black Christmas (2006): in 7 of its 10 quotes
Most scenes with: Leigh Colvin (4), Heather Fitzgerald (3), Melissa Kitt (3)

Scenes with Ms. Barbara MacHenry

7 scenes
Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Billy, [sighs] Billy, Billy..., Girls I can't find Billy's present under the tree here. Come on, girls, we can't start the Secret Santa without Billy's present. [turns to each of the girls.] Hello? Who drew Billy's name?

Um, Ms. Mac, it's a Secret Santa.

[while painting her nails]

Can't we just get on with this thing, so I can party for a few days before having to deal with the family on Christmas.

Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ball sack.

It'll stop. The party gods won't allow me to be here by myself over Christmas break.

[while wrapping the gift]

Oh, I'll be here, Dana.

Yeah, they're making me work next week.

That sucks everyone should be home for Christmas.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

All right, all right, Who's not here?

Um, like everybody.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Chelsea?

She went home this morning.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Greer?

No, that was her on the phone. She and Erin and Taylor are off on that cozy little ski trip with the boys from G.A.D. Next door.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Didn't I see Clair earlier?

Isn't she upstairs writing a card to her sister?

No, I think her sister picked her up earlier. Remember, this is the occasion for Clair and her sister and her mom to... bury the hatchet and rediscover each other.

[while dialing her phone]

Oh, I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head.

Mrs. Mac why don't you open the present we got you?

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Because we have to open Billy's present first. It's a 15-year old Alpha Kappa Tradition.

Okay, I... I drew that name. [everyone turns to her] But can I say, I'm sorry, I'm just? I'm really not okay with this, I mean buying a Christmas present for a serial killer?

[Kelli prepares juice for Melissa.]

No, you see serial killers murder repeatedly for sexual thrill. Billy Lenz was a spree killer. Dude just **** lost it. [Kelli gives the juice to Melissa.; turns to Kelli] Thank you.

Oh, whatever, Melissa, okay? I'm just offended by a pagan sacrifice, to ward off evil spirits on Christmas.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Heather, we're just having a little bit of fun.

Lauren Hanon

Christmas is more about warding off evil spirits than Halloween. What Christmas shit in this room resembles anything Christian, Huh? It's all neo-pagan magic. Christmas tree, a magical rite ensuring the return of the crops. The mistletoe is nothing but a conception charm. Fifth century Christians jacked a Roman winter festival, 12 days in December where the nights were long and the Earth was roamed by the demons of chaos. And **** Santa Claus, This fat voyeur that watches you all year long, to make sure you live up to his standards of decency before breaking into your house? And that is different from what Billy did how?

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Billy didn't break in..., Billy lived here.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Ms. Mac and the sorority sisters sneak downstairs and see a figure standing near the Christmas tree.]

Can we help you?

She was supposed to call.

[Leigh reveals herself.]

I'm Clair's sister. Where is she?

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

You're a legacy? What year?

Ninety-three... Ninety four... I don't know, I started late, I quit early...

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Nineteen-ninety three is the year I became housemother here; I don't remember you.

I mean, this was supposed to be such a big **** weekend, excuse my language, but I drove all the way up here in this shitty, shitty weather, after blowing off a weekend with a cardiologist and---

[interrupts Leigh.]

I love your coat.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Ms. Mac checking Leigh's wallet.]

Clair's name is "Crosby". This says "Colvin".

[hands back her wallet]

The divorce will be final in March. What else do you need? Look, l can't tell you any secrets about my sister, because I don't really know her. I-I-I can't tell you anything about this place, because I really ****in' hated it here. Um...

[Leigh stumbles at the Christmas tree and looks at the presents.] [points at Billy's present]

I see Billy still gets a Christmas present.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[The sorority sisters and Leigh rushes back to the sorority house, and search everything.]

What? What?

[Kelli picks up the phone, but the line is busy.]

Damn it! [puts back the phone, and uses her cellphone.]

[The girls stare at each window.] [while dialing.]

Shit, Shit, Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on. [but the line is still busy.] ****!

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

What's going on?

[starts dialing again.]

911 is experiencing heavy caller traffic because of the storm. Hello? Hello? Yes, yes. [The line is responded, Kelli is panting] A girl is... is dead... outside..... Yes!, Yes! I know her... Her name is... Eve Agnew and we're positive that she's been murdered.....

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Ms. Mac realizes it.]

He's home.

[Heather covers the window, with a blind.; Melissa walks to Ms. Mac, and reassures it to her.]

No. No, no, no, no, no, Ms. Mac. Billy is dead.

...and three other girls are...---

Are missing. Missing.

...are missing... 566 Oakdale, we're the second house on the... right... Alpha Kappa sorority... Kelli Presley... Wait!, how long until... What?!, No, no! We think he's still outside! Would you wait around that long after what l just told you?!...

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Ms. Mac realizes this and decides to leave.] [to Heather.]

Get your purse!

[Heather and Ms. Mac packs up their things.]

...Please, isn't there anything that you--- [The caller hangs up the phone.] Goddamn it! [She turns to everybody.] The storm. Pile-ups over 91. Reservists can't make it out because the streets are all ice. Trees have fallen, and they said they can maybe?... maybe be here in two hours.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Well, we're all gonna be out of here in two minutes. Get your things. [She and Heather walk to the front door.]

And what about Dana?

We'll just go over to the ADG house and get help.

No!, they-they've all gone home or-or skiing.

Okay, okay, whose family lives the closest, just-just call them.

Lauren, her mom lives in Boston.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Even if we could reach them on their cellphone, it would take four or five hours before they got here!

[Melissa realizes this.]

Oh shit, Lauren.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Melissa rushes to Lauren's room to check her.]

Let's go.

No! We stay together. We lock up the house, we got the fireplace poker, a ski pole or some shit, and for the next two hours, not let each other out of our sights.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

No, We are driving to the police station!

In this weather?!

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Even if they can't do anything, at least we will all be safe there!

Yeah, and we're not all here! If we were, then I would go.

That's right. Unless I see otherwise, I'm believing that Clair is alive, and when she comes back, it is not gonna be to an empty house.

We are safer sticking together.

All right, then get your coats! [calling Melissa.] Mel, come on, we're leaving! Let's go!

I'm not leaving Lauren, you bitch!

We're sisters. So act like it.

Ms. Barbara MacHenry
[Ms. Mac decides to follow what Kelli said, and she hugs Kelli.]

We'll get the police here as soon as we can. [puts on her hat; she turns to Heather] Let's go.
[Ms. Mac and Heather leave the house, as Kelli locks the door.]

What are you doing? [Ms. Mac grabs an old ice scraper.] What is that thing?

Ms. Barbara MacHenry

Are you kidding me? [Ms. Mac gets out of the car. She starts scraping the ice off in the windshield] Privileged bitch, Frigid Southern Princess!

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