A character in Black Christmas (2006)

Melissa Kitt quotes from Black Christmas (2006)

Michelle Trachtenberg

Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Black Christmas (2006): in 4 of its 10 quotes
Most scenes with: Ms. Barbara MacHenry (3), Heather Fitzgerald (3), Kelli Presley (3)

Scenes with Melissa Kitt

4 scenes

Billy, [sighs] Billy, Billy..., Girls I can't find Billy's present under the tree here. Come on, girls, we can't start the Secret Santa without Billy's present. [turns to each of the girls.] Hello? Who drew Billy's name?

Melissa Kitt

Um, Ms. Mac, it's a Secret Santa.

[while painting her nails]

Can't we just get on with this thing, so I can party for a few days before having to deal with the family on Christmas.

Melissa Kitt

Have you looked outside? It's raining hail the size of Yao's ball sack.

It'll stop. The party gods won't allow me to be here by myself over Christmas break.

[while wrapping the gift]

Oh, I'll be here, Dana.

Yeah, they're making me work next week.

Melissa Kitt

That sucks everyone should be home for Christmas.

All right, all right, Who's not here?

Um, like everybody.

She went home this morning.

Melissa Kitt

No, that was her on the phone. She and Erin and Taylor are off on that cozy little ski trip with the boys from G.A.D. Next door.

Didn't I see Clair earlier?

Isn't she upstairs writing a card to her sister?

Melissa Kitt

No, I think her sister picked her up earlier. Remember, this is the occasion for Clair and her sister and her mom to... bury the hatchet and rediscover each other.

[while dialing her phone]

Oh, I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head.

Mrs. Mac why don't you open the present we got you?

Because we have to open Billy's present first. It's a 15-year old Alpha Kappa Tradition.

Okay, I... I drew that name. [everyone turns to her] But can I say, I'm sorry, I'm just? I'm really not okay with this, I mean buying a Christmas present for a serial killer?

Melissa Kitt
[Kelli prepares juice for Melissa.]

No, you see serial killers murder repeatedly for sexual thrill. Billy Lenz was a spree killer. Dude just **** lost it. [Kelli gives the juice to Melissa.; turns to Kelli] Thank you.

Oh, whatever, Melissa, okay? I'm just offended by a pagan sacrifice, to ward off evil spirits on Christmas.

Heather, we're just having a little bit of fun.

Lauren Hanon

Christmas is more about warding off evil spirits than Halloween. What Christmas shit in this room resembles anything Christian, Huh? It's all neo-pagan magic. Christmas tree, a magical rite ensuring the return of the crops. The mistletoe is nothing but a conception charm. Fifth century Christians jacked a Roman winter festival, 12 days in December where the nights were long and the Earth was roamed by the demons of chaos. And **** Santa Claus, This fat voyeur that watches you all year long, to make sure you live up to his standards of decency before breaking into your house? And that is different from what Billy did how?

Billy didn't break in..., Billy lived here.

Melissa Kitt

Dana where are you?!

She went around back to the fusebox!

Eve's car!, She never left!

Heather, we have to find Dana first!, Shit! [Leigh follows Heather.]
...

Dana! The fusebox is under the house! Dana!

Melissa
[Kelli trips near the small door.]

Kelli!

Melissa
[Kelli and Melissa sees the nail marks from Dana, after she is attacked.]

Oh my God.
...

Melissa Kitt
[Heather and Leigh checks out Eve in her car, while Kelli and Melissa tried to open the door.]

Augh, I can't open it!

Come on!
...

[Heather checks at the car.]

What she doing? Sleeping in her car? It's like zero degrees out.

Melissa Kitt
[Heather opens the car door, and Eve's severed head rolls out, She and Leigh scream in fear.; Kelli and Melissa overhears this, and rushes to the car and they gasp.]

HOLY ****!

He's out here.

[The sorority sisters and Leigh rushes back to the sorority house, and search everything.]

What? What?

[Kelli picks up the phone, but the line is busy.]

Damn it! [puts back the phone, and uses her cellphone.]

[The girls stare at each window.] [while dialing.]

Shit, Shit, Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on. [but the line is still busy.] ****!

What's going on?

[starts dialing again.]

911 is experiencing heavy caller traffic because of the storm. Hello? Hello? Yes, yes. [The line is responded, Kelli is panting] A girl is... is dead... outside..... Yes!, Yes! I know her... Her name is... Eve Agnew and we're positive that she's been murdered.....

[Ms. Mac realizes it.]

He's home.

Melissa Kitt
[Heather covers the window, with a blind.; Melissa walks to Ms. Mac, and reassures it to her.]

No. No, no, no, no, no, Ms. Mac. Billy is dead.

...and three other girls are...---

Are missing. Missing.

...are missing... 566 Oakdale, we're the second house on the... right... Alpha Kappa sorority... Kelli Presley... Wait!, how long until... What?!, No, no! We think he's still outside! Would you wait around that long after what l just told you?!...

[Ms. Mac realizes this and decides to leave.] [to Heather.]

Get your purse!

[Heather and Ms. Mac packs up their things.]

...Please, isn't there anything that you--- [The caller hangs up the phone.] Goddamn it! [She turns to everybody.] The storm. Pile-ups over 91. Reservists can't make it out because the streets are all ice. Trees have fallen, and they said they can maybe?... maybe be here in two hours.

Well, we're all gonna be out of here in two minutes. Get your things. [She and Heather walk to the front door.]

And what about Dana?

We'll just go over to the ADG house and get help.

Melissa Kitt

No!, they-they've all gone home or-or skiing.

Okay, okay, whose family lives the closest, just-just call them.

Melissa Kitt

Lauren, her mom lives in Boston.

Even if we could reach them on their cellphone, it would take four or five hours before they got here!

Melissa Kitt
[Melissa realizes this.]

Oh shit, Lauren.

[Melissa rushes to Lauren's room to check her.]

Let's go.

No! We stay together. We lock up the house, we got the fireplace poker, a ski pole or some shit, and for the next two hours, not let each other out of our sights.

No, We are driving to the police station!

In this weather?!

Even if they can't do anything, at least we will all be safe there!

Yeah, and we're not all here! If we were, then I would go.

That's right. Unless I see otherwise, I'm believing that Clair is alive, and when she comes back, it is not gonna be to an empty house.

We are safer sticking together.

All right, then get your coats! [calling Melissa.] Mel, come on, we're leaving! Let's go!

Melissa Kitt

I'm not leaving Lauren, you bitch!

We're sisters. So act like it.

[Ms. Mac decides to follow what Kelli said, and she hugs Kelli.]

We'll get the police here as soon as we can. [puts on her hat; she turns to Heather] Let's go.
[Ms. Mac and Heather leave the house, as Kelli locks the door.]

Other characters in Black Christmas (2006)

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