Beethoven (1992) · 13 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Beethoven (1992): in 6 of its 13 quotes
Most scenes with: George Newton (5), Ryce (2), Emily (2)
Alice George, come on. Beethoven isn't even remotely dangerous. He'd never hurt the kids. He might take a bite out of you, though.
First snarl, first, any kind of weirdness and he's gone.
Alice Weirdness? What should I watch for, hon? Wearing my clothes around the house?
Alice I don't think words for parts of the body make very good names.
He's got one of those, I looked.
Alice I'm sure he does. But I don't think Daddy would want to stand on the porch at night yelling that out.
But that's what you call Uncle Richard.
In the third such occurance this month. In the past year, we've seen a 500% increase reporting innocence of stolen pets. Police believe in animal kidnapping ring is at work. That's Newsbreak, and now back to The Wolf Man.
Alice Do you hear something?
No.
Alice I heard something downstairs.
Now, you were never in any real danger, now, were you? Now, we don't want you to get into trouble, so we'll let this be our little secret.
I'd like to call my mother, please.
Your mother?
Immediately.
She must've snuck out while I was watching Ted and Ryce. It was hot out, so I guess she wanted to take a little swim!
Alice And where were you while all this was happening?
I was where I was supposed to be: Inside, watching the other two. If Emily had stayed where I put her, none of this would've happened. If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline.
Alice What these children need is their mother. You're fired.
Alice So what?
We can't just throw out the option of having a babysitter just because we had a bad one. We'll find someone really responsible to look after the kids.
Alice Over my dead body.
Oh, come on.
I really don't like our dog.
Alice I really don't like those people, George. I don't trust them. I don't want their money. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm not interested in expanding. If I had been home instead of helping you impress those morons, Emily wouldn't have fallen in the pool. And I'm not re-entering the work force, George. You're gonna have to do this on your own. And you will. Somehow, you'll make your fortune. And tucked away behind you deep in the shadows will be me and the kids.
That's how you see me. Suddenly, I'm a lousy husband and father. Everything was just fine until Beethoven came into our lives. I've tried to be patient, but I've had it. The dog has to go.
Alice I'm proud of Beethoven. Those two idiots insulted your kids, they treated me like dirt, and he was the only one of us who had the nerve to give them the ride they deserved. I'm going to bed. [heads back inside]
My dream is going down the drain, and you're worried about a dog.
Alice Your family's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dream.
I'm terribly sorry.
We want our dog back!
Where's Beethoven?
Alice All right, kids, let Daddy handle this.
Mr. Newton, what can I do for you?
We want our dog back!
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. It's too late. The dog's been destroyed.
NO!
DAD!
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I was told this wouldn't happen until tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Take your hands off her. What are you...
I told you he was lying!
What the hell are you trying to pull?!
Wait! You can't come in here! This is private property!
Beethoven?!
All right, hold it right there! You have no right to be in here! Out, all of you!
Where's my dog?
I don't have to answer your questions. You ordered that dog destroyed, and it was done. Now get out.
You hit me, I'll have you put in jail for assault and battery!
[George lets go of Varnick. Then suddenly he punches him in the face, knocking him backwards into an empty animal cage.]
