Marcus Burnett [to his sister, a Miami DEA agent]
That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous. [pauses] I'm telling Mom.
2nd most-quoted character in Bad Boys II (2003): in 39 of its 64 quotes
Most scenes with: Mike Lowery (25), Detective Mateo Reyes (3), Capt. Howard (2)
This is a nice fish. Big ****in' eyes, but a nice ****in' fish.
More lines from Marcus Burnett
7 quotes Marcus Burnett Marcus Burnett [Repeated Line]
Woosah...
Marcus Burnett I think we just broke the record for the number of gun fights in one week.
Marcus Burnett [to Mike]
You're like a pitbull with that pink thing hanging out.
Marcus Burnett Damn, it's the niggras!
Marcus Burnett Mike, I can't even get an erection. I tried taking Viagra. Popped one, popped two. I've been eating them like Skittles.
Marcus Burnett Mike, I just had an erection. Call up the wife tell her I am on The Way!
Scenes with Marcus Burnett
31 scenes Marcus Burnett You a virgin?
Reggie Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no **** tonight.
You ever made love to a man?
Reggie No.
You want to?
Marcus Burnett We usually only do the chorus.
Marcus Burnett [on seeing a rat]
Oh, shit. These ain't normal rats.
What my partner means is that these are a special breed called umm...
Marcus Burnett Big mother****ers.
Marcus Burnett Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils?
[tries to cross his eyes]
Marcus Burnett You see that?
They throwin' cars. How'd I not see that.
Marcus Burnett Hey, Mike, I'm just trying to be helpful.
Hey, you'd know what would be ****in' helpful, Marcus? Just shut the **** up and let me drive, let's try that.
Marcus Burnett [During a gun fight]
Sir, we just want to talk.
You want to talk? All right, go ahead, go ahead.
Marcus Burnett We're not immigration!
Marcus Burnett Look, Mike. Calm down!
Calm down? I'm calm. I'm calm. Whoaa! Whoa! I am way too unstable for that bullshit! Stop all the goddamn movement! Everybody stop moving.
Marcus Burnett Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
Now how is that information gonna help me do my job?
Marcus Burnett They **** just like us!
Megan Burnett
I bet you meet a lot of cute guys. Just like "Sex and the City".
Marcus Burnett Theresa, cancel the damn cable!
[Mike's way of saying I'm sorry]
It's a donut. It's a medical thing. I got it from a maternity store. You know, a lot of pregnant women use it. They can put one cheek here and take the pressure off the other. For you, dawg.
Marcus Burnett Thoughtful.
Marcus Burnett It's Reggie!
Who the **** is Reggie?
Marcus Burnett Came to take Megan out.
Reggie I'm here... to take his daughter out.
Mother****er, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie Yes, sire?
How old is you?
Reggie Fifteen.
Shit, ****. You at least thirty.
Marcus Burnett To the DEA you're nothing but a honeypot.
Syd What did you say?
Marcus Burnett It's no wonder you got the job because you look good in a bathing suit.
Marcus Burnett Police! Pull over! Stop the car!
Not your badge, man! He has a gun, shoot him!
Marcus Burnett [after Mike lifted the sheet covering the dead bimbo in the morgue]
Mike, have some dignity!
What? I ain't doin' nothin'. What am I gonna do with these big-ass fake dead titties?
Marcus Burnett But you're LOOKIN' at them.
There is something seriously wrong with your brain man
Marcus Burnett Just cover up 'em titties.
Marcus Burnett [Mike walks into the room, wearing a new purple suit]
Are you a cop or a model?
Hey, man, I like lookin' good, that's all.
Marcus Burnett For who?
Hey man, don't hate the playa, hate the game.
Marcus Burnett Hate the tailor.
We got a tip that the Zopehounders were gonna do a hit on cash or drugs from this big time X-man.
Marcus Burnett That's what they call an ecstasy dealer on the streets.
Marcus, I know what they call them. That's why I'm Captain.
Marcus Burnett [Marcus interrogates a dead gang member]
Hey look, man, can you tell me who was driving the black Suburban? Huh? Oh he don't know nothin'. His brains is under the end table.
Marcus Burnett [turns around to see another dead gang member]
He can't tell us shit, Mike. He's all **** up.
What's your point?
Marcus Burnett My point is that dead suspects can't say shit.
Marcus Burnett My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night.
Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus Burnett When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves.
Marcus Burnett [about Mike]
Mother****er shot me in the ass, man.
Who shot you in the ass?
Marcus Burnett Who? That "who" would be you.
Me? I shot you? I mean, I'm not saying I didn't shoot you. I did a lot of shooting. But I ain't saying I shot you in the ass...
Marcus Burnett Tell me about it.
Vargas, we're not gonna make it to the tunnel! Go to Plan B! We're going to Plan B!
Marcus Burnett What Plan B?
Syd [as they start arguing in the middle of the gunfight]
Are you **** shitting me? LET'S GO!
Marcus Burnett [driving with Mike down a hill, through cocaine-processing shacks, in a stolen Humvee]
Is this still plan B?
Naw, this is definitely plan C!
[while driving across Tapia's estate in a stolen Humvee, being shot at by the Cuban Army]
Man, Plan B does not have that big-ass gun in it!
Marcus Burnett You call this Plan B? What does Plan B stand for? Bullshit!
Look, do you want to drive?
Marcus Burnett Yeah, pull over by those mother****ers with the MACHINE GUN!
[Mike accidentally shot Marcus in the ass]
Yo Mike, why don't you just give it a little kiss? You know, make it feel better?
Detective Marco Vargas
Hey, just pretend we're not even here.
Marcus Burnett Say, isn't Ricky Martin having a concert? Get the **** on!
You always gotta go racial, man.
Detective Marco Vargas
It's sad, man.
Hey, isn't it low tide?
Marcus Burnett Yes, I think it is.
Don't you have some relatives that you need to go pick up?
You went too far on that one.
Casper
Your partner's a cocky ****!
Marcus Burnett Oh damn, now was that necessary, sir? Can't he just be a cop? He got to be a **** too?
You guys are like a couple of blood sucking ticks, draining the life's blood out of this department... Woosaa!
Marcus Burnett Damn the woosaa captain, did you just call me a tick?
Marcus Burnett You know, unlike you my daddy didn't leave me no trust fund. I got real world shit to deal with, Mike. I'm not in it for the thrills.
Same old shit, different day. All right, damn, yes i shot you, all right. But you'be seeing nothing at all if i hadn't made my move. So i don't why you're acting so angry about it.
Marcus Burnett You're misinformed, i'm not angry.
Oh, you're very angry.
Marcus Burnett No, i'm not angry.
[Cutaway to Marcus' therapy session] Therapist You are angry. It's okay.
Marcus Burnett I'm not angry. Except when you keep repeating "You're angry". Now that shit's **** annoying. Like a **** gnat at a barberque. Just bugging the **** outta me.
Therapist Good. I want you to say: "I'm angry. It's okay. I'll process my anger. I love myself. Whoosah.
Marcus Burnett I don't know what the **** you're talking about.
Therapist Yes, you do know what the **** i'm talking about.
Marcus Burnett My bad.
Shoot outside. Pay attention to what you're doing.
Marcus Burnett So sad.
What's so sad?
Marcus Burnett Your untreated control issues. It's not your fault.
What in the hell that's suppose to mean?
Marcus Burnett Your mama probably refused you her tit when you were a baby. You grew up a malnourished high school softie. Got you a gun, a little tight t-shirt and became an overcompensating tough guy.
That is the last time you will ever refer to my mother's titties. I don't even want them up in your head.
Marcus Burnett [Mike and Marcus pose as Klansmen during a drug drop; they expose their cover and point their guns at the launderers]
Blue power, mother****ers! Miami PD!
Aw, damn. It's the Negroes!
Mike Lowery and Marcus Burnett
[Singing]
Bad boys, bad boys/What ya gonna do?/What ya gonna do when we come for you?
[Referring to Marcus habitually ad-libbing the first verse]
Dude, you gotta learn the words.
Burnett We usually only do the chorus.
Marcus Burnett [During a gunfight]
Sir, we just want to talk!
You want to talk?! All right, go ahead, go ahead.
Burnett We're not Immigration!
They can't hear you 'cause they still shootin' at you! [Gunfire continues]
Burnett **** Haitians in a **** little-ass room with **** guns! Shit!
