Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999): in 6 of its 80 quotes
Most scenes with: Austin Powers (3), Fat Bastard (3), Felicity (2)
Cor blimey, Basil— this coffee smells like shit.
Basil It is shit, Austin.
Oh good, then it's not just me. [he drinks and smacks his lips while everyone else there looks on with disgust] It's a bit nutty.
Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
What is it, son?
I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant--
Dick.
Yeah?
Take a look out of starboard.
Oh my God, it looks like a huge--
Pecker.
Ooh, Where?
Wait, that's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's--
Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with--
Two balls.
What is that. It looks just like an enormous--
Wang, pay attention!
I was distracted by that giant flying--
Willie.
Yeah?
What's that?
Well, that looks like a giant--
Johnson?!
Yes, sir?
Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Later, as Dr. Evil is escaping:
Basil Did we get Dr. Evil?
No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge--
Penis. The male reproductive organ. Otherwise known as tallywhacker, schlong or--
Weiner? Any of you kids want another weiner?
Dad? What's that? points at rocket
I don't know, son, but it's got great big--
Nuts! Hot salty nuts! Who wants some-- Lord Almighty!
That looks just like my husband's--
One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster!
jumps out and scares crowd, then points to the rocket Hey, what's that? It looks like a big--
Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have an autograph?
Sure thing. [Sees rocket] Oh my lord.
It's big!
Nah, I've seen bigger, it's--
You want some chicken? I have more!
No, thanks...
Basil Remember, by any means necessary.
Oooooh, frisky are we? Give it up! [He rolls on top of her and she yelps]
Basil Hello, Austin. How was your honeymoon?
It turns out that Vanessa was a fembot.
Basil Yes. We knew all along, sadly. [then, without pausing for a moment] Anyway, I have a new assignment for you.
Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969, and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the 90's and traveled back to... [cross-eyed] Oh, no. I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil I suggest you don't worry about this sort of thing, and just enjoy yourself. [to the home audience] That goes for you all, too.
Basil Hello, Agent Shagwell. Where's Austin?
I must have said something wrong, so he just left all of a sudden.
Basil Listen, Felicity, I don't want you getting too close to Austin. It's not meant to be.
I don't get too close to anybody, Basil. My interest in this case is purely professional.
Basil Good. Then you won't mind tracking down Fat Bastard tonight.
No problem.
Basil We need you to plant this homing device on him by any means necessary.
No problem.
Basil Keep up the good work. Remember, by any means necessary.
