Veronica Corningstone Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I'm 72 percent sure that I love you.
4th most-quoted character in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004): in 21 of its 151 quotes
Most scenes with: Ron Burgundy (11), Brian Fantana (2)
Jazz flute is for little fairy boys
More lines from Veronica Corningstone
7 quotes Veronica Corningstone Veronica Corningstone Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.
Veronica Corningstone I'm good at three things; fighting, screwing, and reading the news. Now I've already done one of those three today so what's the other one gonna be, huh?
Veronica Corningstone Stop calling your arms guns!
Veronica Corningstone You look like a blueberry!
Veronica Corningstone Well you... have bad hair.
Veronica Corningstone [voiceover, after witnessing the sexism exhibited by the news team]
Huh, here we go again. Every station, it's the same. Women ask me how I put up with it. Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. This is definitely a man's world. But while they're laughing and grab-assing, I'm chasing down leads and practicing my non-regional diction. Because the only way to win is to be the best. The very best.
Scenes with Veronica Corningstone
13 scenes Veronica Corningstone Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I would like to do my job.
Big deal! I am very professional!
Veronica Corningstone Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.
I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN!
Veronica Corningstone You are not a man. You are a big fat joke!
I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone You look like a blueberry!
Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone Well you... have bad hair!
Ron Burgandy
[shellshocked]
What did you say?
Veronica Corningstone I said... your hair looks stupid.
Veronica Corningstone My God, what is that smell?
That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with Indian food! Oh, excuse me.
You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee
It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
Hoser
(cut to Brian being jet-hosed)
This is worse than when that raccoon got in the photocopier!
I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone Really.
People know me.
Veronica Corningstone Well, I'm very happy for you.
I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books...and my apartment smells of...rich mahogany.
Look, the most glorious rainbow ever!
Veronica Corningstone Oh, do me on it!
Veronica Corningstone Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Helen said that you needed to see me.
Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.
Veronica Corningstone Well, you asked me to come by, sir.
Oh, did I?
Veronica Corningstone Yes.
Ohh, it's a deep burn! Oh, it's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting, I did over a thousand.
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means "a whale's vagina".
Veronica Corningstone ...No, there's no way that's correct.
I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone Doesn't it mean "Saint Diego"?
No. No.
Veronica Corningstone No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Agree to disagree.
Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke.
Veronica Corningstone You weren't here! Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and my gentleman lover?
I can't believe you did this to me! You read my news!
Veronica Corningstone I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. “Veronica had a very funny joke today.” I laughed at it later that night!
Veronica Corningstone I can't believe that I cared for you!
Get out! Just go! We are through! Through! Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!
Veronica Corningstone You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.
Veronica Corningstone I friggin' love you back!
Veronica Corningstone [Picks up phone]
Veronica Corningstone.
Hello. This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy results here, and guess what? You, you got knocked up, so you should probably get out of news.
Veronica Corningstone Who is this!?
This is Doctor Chim... Dr. Chim Richalds... Richalds.
Veronica Corningstone Is this you Ron!?
I'm a professional doctor, you saw me.. you don't remember. You were drunk. You should.. you should go, you should get out of news.
Veronica Corningstone This is pathetic.
You're pathetic. [hangs up]
How'd it go?
I think she bought it.
*cough!* *look over here!* Excuse me, Veronica
Veronica Corningstone Yes what is it Brick?
I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.
Veronica Corningstone Excuse me?
...The party ...the pants ...party with the pants?
Veronica Corningstone Brick are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that i'm invited.
That's it.
Veronica Corningstone Did Brian tell you to say this Brick?
No...YES
Veronica Corningstone Okay. No I don't want to go to a party in your pants...
Very well. IAN! Would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Well, I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance.
[He laughs.]
What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentleman or . . . wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight?
No. She gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
It's quite pungent.
Oh yeah.
It's a formidable scent.
Yeah.
Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.
They've done studies, you know? 60% of the time, it works every time.
That doesn't make any sense.
Well, let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
[Brian growls, leaves the office, and approaches Veronica.]
Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.
Veronica My God. What is that smell? Oh!
That's the smell of desire, my lady.
Veronica God no, it smells like - like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Oh! Excuse me.
You know, desire smells like that to some people.
News station employee
[Other people start reacting to the cologne.]
What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
Woman
[Another woman passes by Brian and reacts in disgust.]
It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
[Almost all of the employees flee the office to avoid the smell, and a woman starts screaming. Brian looks at his watch.]
Oh.
[The smell is so strong that it sets off the fire alarm. Brian tries acting casual and walks away.]
Oh, what's that smell, huh?
Hoser
[The scene cuts to Brian being jet-hosed in the parking lot.]
This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier!
Veronica For the entire Channel Four News team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.
And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go **** yourself, San Diego!
