"I woke up in this Japanese family's rec-room and they would NOT stop screaming."
Ron Burgundy
Will Ferrell · 85 quotes
Brick Tamland
Steve Carell · 35 quotes
Brian Fantana
Paul Rudd · 25 quotes
Veronica Corningstone
Christina Applegate · 21 quotes
Champ Kind
David Koechner · 20 quotes
Ed Harken
Fred Willard · 8 quotes
Wes Mantooth
Vince Vaughn · 6 quotes
Frank Vitchard
Luke Wilson · 3 quotes
Narrator
3 quotes
Arturo Mendez
2 quotes
Most scenes together: Ron Burgundy & Brian Fantana (14), Ron Burgundy & Brick Tamland (12), Ron Burgundy & Veronica Corningstone (11)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy quotes
Page 1 of 11"[describing the morning after big party]"i woke up this s'morning and i shit a squirrel, literally... the hell of it is, the damn things still alive, now i got this, shit covered squirrel down there in the office, don't know what to name it..."
"[when Veronica gags at his perfume and asks what the smell is]" That's the smell of desire, m'lady. "[once she describes it]" Well... desire smells like that to some people!
Garth Holliday [sobbing incoherently]
Coming out with stink like that...poop...you poop-mouth, there's poop coming out of your mouth...
Garth, if I were to give you some money from out of my wallet.... would that help ease the pain? [glances at Ed for approval]
Garth Holliday [crying]
I hate you Ron Burgundy, I hate you!
Thanks for watching Channel 4 News. You stay classy, San Diego. [observing a question mark on the TelePrompter, which was added by one of the editors as a gag] I'm Ron Burgundy?
Dammit, who typed a question mark on the TelePrompter? How many times do I have to tell you? Anything you type, Burgundy will read!
Angry Biker
Hey Broseph! Did you just throw a burrito out the window?
Angry Biker
Now this is happenin'! [kicks Baxter over a bridge]
Oh, yeah? Well, you're about to be in . . . dead place!
I am going to straight-up murder your ass!
[after getting his arm chopped by a blade, out of nowhere]
Ugh! I did not see that coming!
[after getting his other arm ripped off by a bear]
Oh, COME ON! It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous!
¿Comó están, Beetches! Spanish language news is here! Today's top story: The sewers run red with Burgundy's blood!
¡Policia!
News Announcer
Here's tonight's Channel 4 News, with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor, Ron Burgundy, and Tits McGee.
Public TV News Anchor Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy!
Tino They have a saying in my country for people like him [to Veronica Corningstone about Ron Burgundy] The coyote of the desert always likes to eat the heart of the young. Where the blood drips down to the children for breakfast, lunch and dinner... only the ribs will be broken into two... ôôôôä
Angry Biker
What do you love?
I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.
Angry Biker
Well, now, guess what, this is happening.
Angry Biker
[biker punts Baxter over bridge]
That's how I roll!
Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY! And that is a scientific fact!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
You're with us, Ron, what do you think?
Shit! Sh... it's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
Mhm!
LOUD NOISES!!
I think I was in love once.
Really? What was her name?
I don't remember.
That's not a good start, but keep going...
She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Damn it!
Sex Panther by Odeon. This stuff is illegal in 9 countries. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
It's quite pungent. It's a formidable scent, it stings the nostrils...in a good way.
Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
They've done studies, you know. They say 60% of the time, it works every time.
That doesn't make any sense.
Well, I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance.
[He laughs.]
What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentleman or . . . wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight?
No. She gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
It's quite pungent.
Oh yeah.
It's a formidable scent.
Yeah.
Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.
They've done studies, you know? 60% of the time, it works every time.
That doesn't make any sense.
Well, let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
[Brian growls, leaves the office, and approaches Veronica.]
Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.
My God. What is that smell? Oh!
That's the smell of desire, my lady.
God no, it smells like - like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Oh! Excuse me.
You know, desire smells like that to some people.
News station employee
[Other people start reacting to the cologne.]
What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
Woman
[Another woman passes by Brian and reacts in disgust.]
It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
[Almost all of the employees flee the office to avoid the smell, and a woman starts screaming. Brian looks at his watch.]
Oh.
[The smell is so strong that it sets off the fire alarm. Brian tries acting casual and walks away.]
Oh, what's that smell, huh?
Hoser
[The scene cuts to Brian being jet-hosed in the parking lot.]
This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier!
*cough!* *look over here!* Excuse me, Veronica
Yes what is it Brick?
I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.
Excuse me?
...The party ...the pants ...party with the pants?
Brick are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that i'm invited.
That's it.
Did Brian tell you to say this Brick?
No...YES
Okay. No I don't want to go to a party in your pants...
Very well. IAN! Would you like to go to a party in my pants?