Theodore I've always wanted a mom.
Played by Jesse McCartney 
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015) · 49 quotes
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015) · 49 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015): in 14 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Alvin (12), Simon (10), Dave (6)
Sorry. Pizza toots.
More lines from Theodore
1 quote Theodore Scenes with Theodore
12 scenes
Theodore Okay, we're rolling. [Theodore move the camera to Alvin and Simon] Dave's birthday message, take 1.
Alvin and Simon
Happy birthday, Dave!
We know how hard you've been working on Ashley's album... so we thought it would be fun to surprise you with a little party.
Hey! I thought you said this was a going-away party for us.
Uh...
Theodore Take 2.
[claps his hands]
To celebrate your birthday... and The Chipettes leaving to guest-judge American Idol... [The Chipettes wave] ...We thought we'd throw you a small get... [The cellphone is ringing] Hold on, that's the DJ!
Wait, "DJ"?
Okay, fine, so it might be a medium-sized get-together.
Alvin, did you hire someone to build a half-pipe in the backyard?! [takes off his glasses angrily]
Of course not! The party planner did.
You hired a party planner?!
Party planner
No, he did not hire a "party planner."
Oh, thank goodness. [He puts his glasses back on] For a minute there, I...
Party planner
I am an event planner. Marco, I'm done giving you instructions.
Oh, boy.
[That night in the backyard]
Dave, it's all good. It's just us. [chuckles nervously] Nothing too cra... [Theodore presses the flip button on the cellphone] Theodore, you hit the flip button!
Theodore Oops! Um, hi.
Hey, Dave.
Hey, guys. This is Samantha. Sam, these are my boys.
Hi.
Theodore Hi.
[Dave and Samantha look up]
That's Theodore. He might be the smallest, but he's got the biggest heart.
Hi.
Ooh, we've heard a lot about you. [Samantha comes close to Alvin] Enchant. [kisses Samantha's finger]
I can tell that you're trouble.
If by "trouble", you mean "irresistible", then guilty as charged.
Alvin, of course, and there's Simon.
So, you're a doctor?
I am. Did Dave mention that?
No, you're wearing a stethoscope.
Would it be okay if I tried it?
Yeah, knock yourself out.
[She gives Simon the stethoscope]
Oh, thank you. [uses a Stethoscope to listen to his heart] Heart rate is smooth and steady, 400 BPM.
Theodore So, it's beating?
Of course it's beating.
It's so nice to finally meet you guys.
It wasn't so much me as it was the peanuts dipped in cough syrup.
Alvin, these aren't even chipmunks. They're squirrels.
Beggars can't be choosers. Besides, once we put them in the shirts from the Alvin, Simon and Theodore dolls... Miss Price won't be able to tell the difference.
Yeah, let's do it.
Theodore Ooh, oh... I get to change me!
Hello, New Orleans! Direct from our Austin to Miami Combat Tour, we're The Chipmunks! [people of New Orleans cheering]
Theodore Is everybody ready to get their funk on?
Did you guys hear that?
Hear what?
Huh. Never mind.
Guys, last night was one of the best nights of my life.
It was pretty crazy.
Theodore Even that Suggs guy hung out with us.
Yeah, he's not that bad after all.
Hey! We missed a call from Dave. And a text. 27 of them.
Theodore Uh-oh!
Oh-no.
This where they told us to meet them, right?
Theodore Well, yelled at us to meet them.
Hopefully they had time to cool off on the plane.
There you are.
Dave!
Dave!
Mom!
Don't "Dave, Mom" us.
You know what, Dave? You're an artist, and you're emotional... and you follow your heart, but maybe I should take the lead one this one. You know, we keep a level head. Throw them a little Good Cop. Okay.
Okay.
[to Miles and the Chipmunks]
Don't you "Dave, Mom" us. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is... to find out that your children are 2,000 miles away from where they're supposed to be? You are lucky that there are witnesses, [Everyone heard everything] because I am so mad right now... that I could just spit! Right here, on this floor!
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Nice Good Cop.
Dave, I swear, it wasn't as crazy as it looked on TV.
Oh, really? Well, let me just pull up some of Theodore's tweets from last night. "Only one word to describe this night, "Crazy, crazy, crazy,crazy." Or, "if you wanna get crazy, "go to New Orleans. It's the craziest." Or, "In a New Orleans Jazz Parade, "so crazy."
We're really sorry, Dave.
Sorry's not gonna cut it this time, guys. If were up to me, we'd be going home, but I gotta get back to Miami. Do not smile. You guys are grounded in Miami and also when we get back to LA.
You'll be so old, your fur will be gray.
Yeah, that goes for your fur too, Miles.
I don't have fur.
Well, whatever you have is grounded... for a long time. Let's go.
Huh. They didn't kill us after all
Feels like a win.
Theodore He's coming!
Theodore [The Chipmunks climb up the elevator's bar]
Hurry, Alvin. Hit the button!
Come on, Alvin! Hurry, hurry!
Theodore [Alvin pushes the button on the elevator, and the elevator's door is closing] [sighs]
Whew!
[Agent James Suggs stops the elevator door, and opens it]
Here's Suggsy! [he does an evil laugh]
He's like the Terminator!
Theodore Yeah!
This is ironic. We're gonna be going up... but I'm taking you boys down. [he snickers] Now, here's what's gonna happen... I'm gonna turn you over to Homeland Security... and they're gonna put you in a zoo prison for dangerous animals.
And then, if you ever get out of there... I'm gonna pay someone to have you stuffed.
Right.
And I'm gonna give you as a gift to Anna, who will hopefully take me back.
You don't know that.
Theo, let's go.
I just think there's something wrong with her phone and she's not getting my texts... or the flowers, or my candy grams. [Simon and Theodore opens the emergency hatch] And I, personally, don't think it's uncommon... for someone to move five times a year and change their number. [he laughs] Okay? It's normal.
Oh, yeah. Totally normal.
Alvin!
And that's our cue to leave.
And elevator power off.
[yells]
No! No!
[Agent James Suggs tries to reach for the emergency hatch, But the Chipmunks closes the hatch, Agent James Suggs is now stuck in an elevator]
The only reason we're not headed back to LA right now is because... I have to be here. As soon as the show is over, we're all going home. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in you guys than I am right now.
If Dave didn't wanna get rid of us before, he definitely does now.
All because we only cared about if we were happy. Maybe it's a chipmunk thing, like hoarding, you know? Maybe we're emotional hoarders.
Actually, chipmunks are traditionally very caring creatures.
Oh, nuts. Well, that means it's us.
Theodore I'd do anything to fix this.
Yes, official and legal son?
Thanks for being the best official and legal dad, Dad.
Well, you three are the best official and legal sons an official and legal father could ask for.
Aw. That's sweet of you to say, Dad.
Theodore Yeah.
But seriously, guys, this is the happiest day of my life. Literally nothing could ruin it for me.
Theodore [They all enter the house, Dave finds out that the squirrels made a huge mess]
Oh, boy.
Totally forgot about this.
When I say "party", you say "Alvin". Party!
Party People
Alvin!
Party!
Alvin!
Party!
Um... Surprise?
Theodore Whoo-hoo! [freezes] Uh-oh!
Oh, boy... [sinks back into the pool]
Uh, if anyone needs us, we'll just be... [whispers] across the country.
Theodore [The Chipmunks enter Dave's bedroom and watch him locking a safe in his nightstand and he goes into the bathroom, without noticing]
I've always wanted a mom.
Guys, if Samantha is our mom, that makes Miles…
Theodore [They picture Miles torturing them like washing Dave's car, blowing them with a leaf blower, and hanging them on a Christmas tree as ornaments]
NO!!! [uses a paper bag to breathe out his hyperventilating]
Deep breaths, Theodore. In and out. It's going to be okay.
Theodore What are we gonna do?
Airport Security Woman
[to Dave]
Sir?
Is there a problem?
Problem? What problem?
Airport Security Woman
There sure is.
[The airport security woman rotates her computer screen towards Dave and the Chipmunks. The computer screen shows the Chipmunks on the No Fly List.]
Oh, man!
Oh, right...
Theodore Whoopsie!
...that...
Guys...
...awwww, nuts!
[The camera focuses on the computer screen, which still shows the Chipmunks on the No Fly List.]
Before we perform, my brothers and I have a few things to set things straight. Earlier this evening, we accidentally ruined a very special evening for a very special woman and we'd like to make it up to her.
Theodore Yeah.
[The chipmunks turn their attention to Alice]
Alice? Barry has something he'd like to ask you... Again.
Barry
[takes out the ring from his lining pocket and kneels down before Alice]
Will you marry me this time?
Alice
[as Barry puts the ring on her finger; on the verge of tears]
Yes.
Barry
[Everyone cheers and applaud for them as they hug]
Thanks, Chipmunks.
And we just have one more quick thing to say. Dave... [in unison] We're really sorry.
Simon and Theodore
[in unison]
We're sorry.
Theodore So we wrote this last song for you.
