Mooj Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after **** brunch!
Played by Gerry Bednob 
The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) · 118 quotes
The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) · 118 quotes
5th most-quoted character in The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005): in 11 of its 118 quotes
Most scenes with: Jay (3)
It's not about the shit stained balls, and the dirty sanchez!
More lines from Mooj
6 quotes Mooj Mooj Go **** a goat.
Mooj Everybody's dick look big on 60-inch TV. My sister's dick look big on TV.
Mooj This is hogshit. You're a **** asshole to tell me to come here and tell me he was a nice guy didn't you? Well **** you people, **** you, you, you, and you, **** and kiss my big brown **** ass okay!
Mooj [after Andy gets promoted to Floor Manager]
This is the bullshit of all bullshits! You scumbag! Ass kisser!
Mooj Tell me, when your son is born, is he already on parole?
Scenes with Mooj
4 scenes
I'm sick of you poaching my customers.
Mooj I'm sick of your cry-baby bullshit.
You wanna take this shit outside? Just take it outside and squash it?
Mooj Let's stay inside, so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I can't return it until it has spilled blood.
Look, listen to me. You are **** with the wrong ****.
Mooj Hey! You're **** with the wrong sand-****, okay?
Dude, I will hang your old ass by your turban.
Mooj Turban now? Do you see any **** turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, do you want a Slurpee? You want a Slurpee?" **** you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a **** Brooklyn accent, okay?! Okay?!
Mooj [Mooj has found out Andy is a virgin; extended DVD version]
Andy, don't let them bother you. It's ok not to have sex. Not everybody's a pussy magnet. You are, ah, what are you, 25?
I'm 40.
Mooj Holy shit man! You gotta get on that. Life isn't about sex. Life is about children, and passion, and spirit!
Yeah, life's about passion.
Mooj It's not about **** and balls and pussy. It's about love.
{sighs}
Mooj It's about people. It's about connection.
Mooj It's not about tossing salad. It's not about **** and ass and tits.
Mooj And butt hole pleasures.
It's not about butt hole pleasures at all.
Mooj It's not about these rusty trombone, and dirty sanchez. It's not about rainbow showers and camel-toe slide, and your Cincinnati bowtie, your Arabian goggles or the hot carl and pearl necklace, or pussy juice cocktails, and the jagged-head dildos, and the double-decker pussies.
Mooj Shit stained balls, and **** swapping, and the hanging brain, it's not about the rattlesnake wiggle, and the alligator **** house, donkey-punching, the tea-bagging--
Mooj, just please stop.
[holding a pair of baby shoes]
Mooj, you done seen my son, you know his foot's gonna be bigger than this.
Mooj If that baby looks Pakistani, don't ****in' look at me, okay?
I wouldn't mind! You got good genes! How old are you? What, 138?
Mooj When your son is born, is he already in parole?
Mooj [talking to a customer]
This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.
What are you doing? That's my customer.
Mooj It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended.
No, no, that's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested.
Mooj I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed.
Then you gonna give me half the commission.
Mooj You will receive none of the commission.
I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man!
Mooj This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about... how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call...
I'm sick of you poaching my customers.
Mooj I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit.
You wanna take this shit outside? Just take it outside and squash it?
Mooj Let's stay inside, so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I can't return it until it has spilled blood.
Look, listen to me. You are **** with the wrong ****.
Mooj Hey! You're **** with the wrong sand****, okay?
Dude, I will hang your old ass by your turban!
Mooj Turban now? Do you see any **** turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, do you want a Slurpee? You want a Slurpee?" **** you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a **** Brooklyn accent, okay?! Okay?!
All right, man, calm down, dude! Look... you still covering my shift on Friday or what?
Mooj If I can keep this commission... with pleasure.
Cool, man. All right, pops.
[They hug; Jay leaves]
