Scott Caan movie quotes

Charlie Tweeder

Good moonin, Boys! Good moonin! I have been up since the crack of dawn and I had to ass you a question.

Charlie Tweeder

She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw.

Charlie Tweeder

I'm gonna go to jail!

Bryce Dunn

Winners make the rules and losers live by them.

Jared

So how long you know this one for?

Bryce

I don't know, about 14 hours now. Picked her up last night at The Mercer Club.

Nuh-uh. I picked you up last night. Don't start lying already.

Sam

We found bodies. Don't you think we should tell someone?

Bryce

They're drug dealers, Sam. They're not missionaries flying care packages to starving kids in Africa, okay? Don't worry, their girlfriends will have new pimps before the milk in the refrigerator goes bad. It's fine.

Danny Ocean

Shut it down, guys. Shut her down!

Turk Malloy

It is shut down.

Rusty Ryan

This is no time for jokes, fellas.

Turk Malloy

Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart?

Turk Malloy

Don't change the facial structure.

Virgil Malloy

I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.

Turk Malloy

Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.

Turk Malloy

24... 22.

Turk Malloy

I don't care if it gets messy.

Virgil Malloy

I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.

And I'll inject him.

Basher Tarr

And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.

Rusty Ryan

All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...

Danny Ocean

But...

Turk

Watch it, bud.

Virgil

Who you calling bud, pal?

Turk

Who you calling pal, friend?

Virgil

Who you calling friend, jackass?

Turk

Don't call me a jackass.

Virgil

I just did call you a jackass!

Virgil

Are you a man?

Turk

Yes, nineteen.

Virgil

Are you alive?

Turk

Yes, eighteen.

Virgil

Evel Knievel.

Turk

...shit.

Virgil

He went in at 10:44.

Turk

10:46, get a watch that works.

Virgil

Dude, you make me sick. It's 10:44.

Turk

10:46.

Turk Malloy

Who died and made you Danny?

Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...

Rusty Ryan

If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.

Okay, can I ask you...

Rusty Ryan

Yes.

Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...

Rusty Ryan

Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.

Wait, why not?

Rusty Ryan

Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.

Oooooooooo.

Terry Benedict

I have a message for Robert Charles Ryan, soon to be the ex-owner of the Standard Hotel.

Rusty Ryan

You got him.

Terry Benedict

The last we spoke, you hung up on me.

Rusty Ryan

You used nasty words. I got sensitive ears

Jesus Christ! Are you people ****?! It says "Do not disturb"!

Rusty Ryan

It's me.

You're doing recon work on our anniversary?

Danny Ocean

Tess...

Danny Ocean

Do I look 50 to you?

Yeah.

Danny Ocean

Really?

Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.

Turk Malloy

It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.

We got a bag man.

Turk Malloy

Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.

I have feelings.

Turk Malloy

No, you don't.

Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?

Turk Malloy

Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.

Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?

Danny Ocean

Rusty's not 50 years old.

Turk Malloy

Yeah dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Danny Ocean

You think I'm 50 years old? Let me ask you something... [to Virgil] no, let me ask you something: how old do you think I am?

48?

Danny Ocean

You think I'm 48 years old?

52?

What did I say?

Danny Ocean

You called his niece a whore.

What?!?

Rusty Ryan

A very cheap one.

Danny Ocean

She's seven.

Rusty Ryan

Currently confined to bed with a wicked case of...

Danny Ocean

No, don't tell him that.

Rusty Ryan

I'm sorry.

Turk Malloy

Hell in a hand-basket?

No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...
Turk Malloy, Linus Caldwell, Basher Tarr: [together] Not enough people!

Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air?

Rusty Ryan

He opens the second floor window every now and then.

What does that mean?

Rusty Ryan

It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

Danny Ocean

What are you doing?

Rusty Ryan

Sleeping. Why are you dressed?

Danny Ocean

It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go!

Rusty Ryan

It's 11:30. The night before.

Danny Ocean

Oh.. But..

Danny Ocean

Oh.

Rusty Ryan

Oh! Oh he's mean. He's just mean spirited. All right, how many espressos did you have?

Danny Ocean

Five.

So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!

A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?

Yeah!

You've gone right out of your tree, my son.

He's mad. It's madness.

Turk Malloy

Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.

No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!

You might be right. Make the call.

I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you.

Thanks.

We both are.

You told Dad? You told Dad?

I had to sweetheart, We were on vacation.

I'm sorry.

Great. you guys are gonna be dining out on this one for months! Hey, you remember the time your mom had to go to Rome, Blah, Blah,blah? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

Reuben Tishkoff

If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.

Terry Benedict

You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.