Johnny Knoxville movie quotes

38 quotes from 4 movies

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013) as Irving Zisman

View Quote I may be too old to stir the gravy but I'm still old enough to lick the spoon, that's for damn sure! [Chuckles]

View Quote [While making a ham sandwich in the store] Now, let's get some damn mustard.

View Quote [To Billy at the diner] I think all this bacon is getting to Grandpa. [Farts]

All 27 quotes from Irving Zisman »

A Dirty Shame (2004) as Ray Ray

View Quote A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.

View Quote I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.

View Quote One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!

All 4 quotes from Ray Ray »

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) as Luke Duke

View Quote Jesse Duke: Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: You get a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye.

View Quote Jesse Duke: You know why divorces are so expensive?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: Because they're worth it!

View Quote Jesse Duke: Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: He gets taller!

All 4 quotes from Luke Duke »

Big Trouble (2002) as Eddie

View Quote Eddie: Let's get the hell outta here, Snake. I think I hear one of them silent alarms.

View Quote [Getting into the hi-jacked police car]
Snake: Let's go.
Eddie: I ain't never driven one of these before.
Snake: It ain't a spaceship, asshole. Drive.

View Quote [As Snake, Eddie and the kidnapped Jenny arrive at the aiport]
Eddie: Okay, we gotta pick a road. Arrivals or departures? We're arriving, but then we're departing. Which one, Snake?
Snake: What do you think?
Jenny Herk: I think you guys should turn yourselves in and plead not guilty by reason of stupidity.
Snake: [looks at the signs] Departures.