The Dukes of Hazzard quotes

14 total quotes

Daisy Duke
Jesse Duke
Mr. Prickett
Roscoe P. Coltrane
The Balladeer

View Quote "An apple a day will keep the doctor away, darling." "Do you know why devorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it!"

View Quote "Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Roscoe?" (Enos- At your farm) "Thank you Enos. That might be a new record."

View Quote "I think something bounced up into my undercarriage."

View Quote "Jesse Duke has been to two places in his life: Hazzard County and Korea. As far as he's concerned, that's one place too many."

View Quote "The only way I'm leavin' the ranch is in a wooden box!"

View Quote "When you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds better than a Plan B."

View Quote (To Cooter) "Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor!"

View Quote (To Daisy about his car) "She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine."

View Quote Jesse Duke: Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: He gets taller!

View Quote Jesse Duke: Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: You get a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye.

View Quote Jesse Duke: You know why divorces are so expensive?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: Because they're worth it!

View Quote Jesse Duke: You know why tornadoes and blonds are so much alike?
Luke Duke: No.
Jesse Duke: At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.

View Quote Sheev: Hmm, might be a wet fuse.
Bo Duke: Maybe its backwards.
Sheev: It's supposed to be backwards, it's a Chinese fuse.
Bo Duke: No, I mean it's backwards from the way it's supposed to be.
Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once.
Sheev: Yeah, well you don't blow up Mu Shu Pork my friend.
Bo Duke: I dated a Korean girl in high school.
Sheev: That is a totally different Oriental nation. Get an education!
Bo Duke: You're the one who got the fuse wrong.

View Quote Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, "Why don't you watch where you're going." The drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else."