"An apple a day will keep the doctor away, darling."
"Do you know why devorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it!"
Jesse Duke
Willie Nelson · 7 quotes
Luke Duke
Johnny Knoxville · 4 quotes
Daisy Duke
Jessica Simpson · 2 quotes
The Balladeer
Junior Brown · 2 quotes
Mr. Prickett
James Roday Rodriguez · 1 quote
Roscoe P. Coltrane
M.C. Gainey · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Jesse Duke & Luke Duke (4)
The Dukes of Hazzard quotes
"Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Roscoe?" (Enos- At your farm) "Thank you Enos. That might be a new record."
"I think something bounced up into my undercarriage."
"Jesse Duke has been to two places in his life: Hazzard County and Korea. As far as he's concerned, that's one place too many."
"The only way I'm leavin' the ranch is in a wooden box!"
"When you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds better than a Plan B."
(To Cooter)
"Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor!"
Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?
No.
He gets taller!
Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
No.
You get a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye.
You know why divorces are so expensive?
No.
Because they're worth it!
You know why tornadoes and blonds are so much alike?
No.
At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.
Sheev Hmm, might be a wet fuse.
Bo Duke
Maybe its backwards.
Sheev It's supposed to be backwards, it's a Chinese fuse.
Bo Duke
No, I mean it's backwards from the way it's supposed to be.
Sheev Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke
I ate Chinese food once.
Sheev Yeah, well you don't blow up Mu Shu Pork my friend.
Bo Duke
I dated a Korean girl in high school.
Sheev That is a totally different Oriental nation. Get an education!
Bo Duke
You're the one who got the fuse wrong.
Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock.
Guy said, "Why don't you watch where you're going."
The drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else."