Swear to me. Swear to me that if it isn't dead, we'll all come back.
I swear.
Ben Swear.
I swear it.
I swear.
I swear, too.
Swear.
Ben Ben Bill's our writer.
I just write horror stories.
My dad says there's no way to date this one. He says it's probably from the early or mid-1700s when Derry was a logging town.
Hold it. P-P-P-Pennywise the Clown?
That's him. That's him!
Ben 200 years ago? He was here then?
Come on, it's just a drawing!
Now, look; Here he is again. The same man.
It's not a man.
It... IT! [the scrapbook begins flapping] Th-That's what happened back in Georgie's room. [the scrapbook stops at a page and the picture comes to life. The kids see It/Pennywise dancing] Look!
[It/Pennywise spots the children, growls and climbs up to a lamppost to scare them]
I'll kill you all! [laughs] I'll drive you crazy, and I'll kill you all! I'm every nightmare you've ever had! I'm your worst dream come true! I'M EVERYTHING YOU EVER WERE AFRAID OF!
Everyone else
YES!
Don't let it get to you, man.
Ben You saw it, too.
I didn't want to...
But you did.
...Yes. Okay. If that's what you want... Yes.
Yes, that's what I wanted, you t-turkey.
Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Can you fix that thing?
Roy I thought the wolves got you!
Oh yeah? Lemme tell you about wolves. Vicious? Extremely. Goes without saying. But not that bright. While those dumb bunnies were fighting over a couple of my appendages, I managed to escape.
Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?
Roy Are you saying that that salesman was...
Mr. Spike? Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.
[on HV One News]
This just in... Helen Knable has been kidnapped and taken to Channel 1. We take you there live.
Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband won't lift a finger to save her. Isn't that right, Roy?
Roy No!!
Bob Chipeska Yeah, I know it's odd, but as our security manager, I want you to be well aware of this. His little friend promised he won't say it in front of the children, which is fine. There is an adult's world and a child's world, and that's OK. I'm no censor.
Bob Chipeska [Chipeska is seen arguing with a man who had been the Chamberlain's Santa for years.]
Harrison, will you let me explain, please? Financially--
Fired Santa
Well, you get what you paid for, Chipeska. Five Christmases I've been here, and no what. Now you flip me for some stranger who'll do it for peanuts and happens to work with a real midget. Well, let me tell you something, though: nobody cares! Nobody comes for the elf. Santa's main attraction. I do Burl Ives songs. Does this schmoe even play guitar?
Bob Chipeska Look, Harrison, it's not about the money or the midget. Believe me, if it was-- I don't think they like midget. I think you're supposed to call them--
Fired Santa
Oh, just forget it! [Walks away as Willie and Marcus enters the store, then yells to them] Hacks!
Bob Chipeska [to Marcus and Willie]
Hi. Bob Chipeska. Welcome. Great photo and resumè, by the way.
Thanks. You know, we've been at this for a long time and all, so we like to think we do a good job.
Bob Chipeska I'm so glad you two can come at such a short notice. You two are perfect for this job, truly.
Bob Chipeska [Willie drones out the conversation between Bob and Marcus, eyeing a woman's ass as she walks]
So, I don't want his unpleasantness affect your performance in any way.
Oh, no, we--
Performance?
Bob Chipeska Yes. Your performance. You know, the...
Performance, like, sexual?
Bob Chipeska [Bob looks up at Willie in confusion]
Excuse me?
Willie.
Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear? Is that what you're saying to me?
Bob Chipeska I'm sorry, your gear?
Willie...
My **** stick!
[Bob makes a shocked and disgusted look, Marcus quickly saves the situation by shoving Willie]
Willie, take a seat. You know how your blood sugar is.
Bob Chipeska He's not going to say "**** stick" in front of the children, is he?
No! It was just a joke. An adult joke for us adults. It's a joke. Just a joke.
It won't happen again. I can promise you that. Willie here has low blood sugar. That's all.
That's right. I forgot to take my pill.
Bob Chipeska It's not just the swearing. Forgive me for prying, but did one of you, um, fornicate...
Fornicate?
Bob Chipeska Yes, with a heavy-set woman in the big-and-tall dressing room?
Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.
Bob Chipeska Yes... Well, even still, I think it's best for all parties considered if we...
If we what?
Bob Chipeska Well, I have somebody else interested in the position.
Before you do something stupid, you might want to think about this shit.
Bob Chipeska What are you talking about?
I'm talking about firing a little black midget. A small, colored, African-American small person. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about your face all over goddamn USA Today, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 150 of these little mother****ers all over the sidewalk out there. Holding picket signs and using bullhorns and shit like that. Screaming and hollering your name out. Unfair practices, get me?
Bob Chipeska Oh no, this is not a handicapped thing. I have nothing against you people.
You people? Did you hear that Marcus? He said "you people".
Who the hell is "us people"?
Bob Chipeska No...he said...I...you don't under-- what? No, no. Um, I think it's best if we just forget we had this conversation.
Good thinking. And don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Let's get the hell out of here, Marcus.
[Willie and Marcus get up to leave, with Marcus taking a candy cane from a cup, as Willie turns back to Bob]
You're pathetic.