Stay Tuned 1992 quotes

Crowley

We did it! We beat Spike! Oh, I would have given an arm and a leg to see this! In fact, I already did!

Pierce

I get his parking space.

Crowley

Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Can you fix that thing?

Roy

I thought the wolves got you!

Crowley

Oh yeah? Lemme tell you about wolves. Vicious? Extremely. Goes without saying. But not that bright. While those dumb bunnies were fighting over a couple of my appendages, I managed to escape.

By order of the court...

Crowley

Looks like Spike's gonna make his quota after all. I'm sorry, Mrs. Knable.

I deliver the soul of the Marquis de Knable to it's rightful owner!

Spike

Finally, he's mine!

Helen

Where's my husband?

Murray Seidenbaum

What are you worried about him for? I ditched my wife five channels ago. She happened to meet the business end of a fifty-ton reptile. And I can tell you, I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf. This is great here. Great. I don't ever want to get out. Outside, I was Murray the Doormat. In here, Boss Seidenbaum.

Helen

Couldn't be any worse, huh, Roy?

Roy

Helen? Oh, my God! We're cartoons! Boy, this is strange.

Helen

Strange? I'm an animated rodent wearing high-heeled running shoes. The word strange is somehow lacking! [hearing a door open, they run into the mouse hole]

Roy

: At least we're safe here. Nobody ever dies in cartoons, right?

Helen

Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?

Roy

Are you saying that that salesman was...

Crowley

Mr. Spike? Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.

Spike

This just in... Helen Knable has been kidnapped and taken to Channel 1. We take you there live.

Helen

Roy, I don't know where you are, but get your butt back here!

Spike

Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband won't lift a finger to save her. Isn't that right, Roy?

Roy

No!!

[After switching to another station while being pursued by Spike, Roy trips over a familiar looking couch in a familiar looking apartment. Two familiar looking women, one brunette and the other blonde with poni-tails, enter the apartment to the familiar theme of a familiar (and very popular) 70's TV show. They immediately mistake Roy for their roommate who (plausibly) lives with them (since they look exactly alike)]

Where have you been?

Roy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spike

Screw up in here, and you're dead meat.

Helen

Dynamite!? He's going to hit me with a train and blow me up? Roy!!!

Spike

Greetings, Captain Roy. Our remotes are synchronized. So wherever you go, I go. Enjoy the attack.

Helen

You wanted to live in a TV fantasy? Well, you got your wish.