Dupree quotes from You, Me and Dupree (2006)

But Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.

Dupree

First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.

Dupree

I'll be fine.
[almost immediately is knocked off by a car]

Carl

What's with this Roman Holiday obsession? Your favorite movie is Fletch.

Dupree

It's in my top five, but it's not my favorite.

Molly

I don't know. I have a hard time imagining Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to "Funky Cold Medina".

Dupree

Really? I don't.

Carl

And this whole Lance Armstrong thing...

Dupree

You leave Lance out of this! He's doing more with one testicle than you and I could do with three!

Dupree

Carl, Carl! Wait, what are you doing?

Carl

I'm running... trying to gain my wife back!

Dupree

Carl... you have it all wrong. I'm trying to steal your wife. All I am is that loveable ****-up that everyone can help. You are just the loveable guy that is lucky for having a wife like Molly.

Carl

I got news for you, Dupree. You're not that loveable.

Dupree

I've wracked my little Duprees!

Dupree

The doctor said most of my injuries are emotional.

Dupree

I'm a people person, very responsible. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Not so task-oriented. Not a work horse. If you're looking for a Clydesdale, I'm probably not your man. Like I don't live to work, it's more the other way around. I work to live. Incidentally, what's your policy on Columbus Day?

We work.

Dupree

Really? The guy discovered the new world. I'm afraid to even ask about Victory Over Japan Day.

Dupree

Everyone's asleep and here's lonely old Dupree wailing away on himself.

Molly

You weren't wailing away...

Dupree

An animal wouldn't debase himself such!

Carl

What you did in the bathroom last night was disgusting.

Dupree

I know, I'm never eating buffalo wings again.

Dupree

I'm throwing seven different kinds of smoke!