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Harry Burns quotes

You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are really an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.

[the morning after sleeping with Sally] I gotta go home, I gotta change my clothes, and then I have to go to work and so do you, but after work, I'd like to take you out to dinner if you're free.

[on Sally's answering machine] Hi, it's me. It's is the holiday season and I thought I'd just remind you that this is the season for charity and forgiveness. And although it's not widely known, it is also the season of grovelling. So if you felt like calling me back, I'd be more than happy to do the traditional Christmas grovel. Give me a call.

[on Sally's answering machine] If you're there please pick up the phone, I really want to talk to you. The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) Not at home, (b) Home, but don't want to talk to me, or (c) Home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back.

Obviously she doesn't want to talk to me. What do I have to do, beat her over the head? If she wants to call me she'll call me. I'm through making a schmuck out of myself.

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