Rose quotes from We're the Millers (2013)

Rose

You're not a neighbor. You're a drug dealer. Whose apartment smells like cheese and feet?

David

Mm. Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie. "Cheesy Feet" is what they call it. It's a best-seller.

I want you to start having sex with the customers for money. [Note:Todd is the owner of the strip club Rose dances in]

Rose

What? That's totally illegal, Todd!

Come on, what are you gonna do? Besides, I gotta stay competitive with those ****ers who just opened up across the street.

Rose

You mean the Apple Store?

Yeah, and they're killing us.

Did you hear the good news? Now we get to **** the costumers for money! [Squeals]

Boner garage loves it.

Rose

I'm outta here, I'm outta here, I quit. [Walks up to apartment door and pulls off a posted notice] Eviction notice. ****. [Looks at mail ad, 1950's woman]

Rose

I want $30.000 now

David

No **** way.

Rose

Ok! Have safe flight!

David

Wait! Ok, fine, fine. Blood sucker.

Rose

Alright, happy wife, happy life!

Rose

Don't think that you could ever...

David

Whoa whoa whoa, family meeting, lets go, get in the back go.

Kenny

I didn't mean to hit her.

David

I don't care.

Casey

He hit me in the **** face sir,

David

Are you from Mars? No one wants to hear it. [In the plane galley] What the ****?! Are you kidding me with this shit!

Casey

Relax, Dorothy, Jesus, we're not at the border yet, who cares what these people think.

David

It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo.

Rose

Hey, don't talk to her like that!

David

Rose, relax okay, the only thing you need to worry right now is making people believe you could actually be someone mother, okay.

Rose

Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep. [They hear a flight attendant coming in so Rose has grabbed all their hands to join in a prayer circle] Lord we thank thee for the blessing on this family vacation may David find his bliss and bring all of us home safely may Kenny and Casey fortified their sibling bond over the warm glow of our devouted hearts and made this entire airplane find safe passage and aboundant full of life even the jews...amen

That was a good one, that was beautiful, I wish my family was more like that.

Rose

Wait a second, hold on come here. I'd like to have a little chat with your friend

Casey

Are you kidding me?

Rose

I am not kidding you. Would you please have a seat?

Casey

What is going on?

Rose

So, Scottie P., what exactly do you for a living?

Casey

Oh, Mom!

Scottie P.

I work for P&J Amusements. I maintain the monkey maze, if you know what I'm saying.

David

What the hell is a monkey maze?

Scottie P.

Oh, it's like terrifying death trap, but, for little kids.

David

Hey, thats are some cool tats, man.

Scottie P.

Ah, for real, thanks bro. You see the cobra?

David

What is these one? Whats the one right there?

Scottie P.

Oh, these, thats my credo. [Pulls down shirt collar to reveal "NO RAGRETS"]

David

No regrets; How 'bout that you have no regrets?

Casey

Dad... [Casey flips off both David and Rose behind Scottie P.'s back with both hand]

Scottie P.

No. Not one.

David

Like not even single letter?

Scottie P.

No way... uh huh, at least, not me [laughs].

Casey

Dad... I love him.

David

I think he's great. I think he's real winner Casey. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection, have fun. Scottie P. you're the man [High fives him]

Scottie P.

Yeah? For real. Nice meeting you man. Alright, you too. [Casey gets on Scottie P.'s motorcycle and he speeds off, narrowly missing people on the campsite]

David

Come on, she'll gonna be fine. Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. Actually, she might already be pregnant.

Rose

We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch. You couldn't've called?

David

Or some of those damn text messages you always sending out there; "hey its me casey, im not dead in the ditch lol, a little pig with a **** smile, #YOLO".

Casey

Whoa, was that so hard to say, thank you, appreciate that.

David

Unbelieveable, she learned a new word Rose. Thank God.

Casey

"I'm sorry", He will be great.

David

Oh, there he is. Kenny, oh my god you looks so much better.

Rose

Yeah, doesn't he looks better?

David

Yeah, he looks like a thousand bucks. Lets go come on.

Kenny

Hey, take it easy. Would you just relax? Oh, hurt my elbow.

Rose

Are you okay?

Kenny

I think so.

Rose

David, look what's happened to you, when you running around like a crazy person.

David

What are you talking about? He's fine, come on. Come on Ken doll hop hop buddy, here we go here we go.

Rose

What the hell is wrong with you?

David

Whats wrong with me? Look this job has a deadline and in four **** hours alright, and if you thinking I'm gonnna lose half a million dollars pay day because of one of Kenny's boo boos then you're out of your goddamned mind.

Rose

Whoa, wait a second, you're making half a millon dollars on this deal?

David

Roughly.

Rose

I can not believe you!

David

Rose, listen to me, I can explain it.

Rose

You're making $500,000 and giving me only $30,000?

Casey

$30,000? I'm only getting $1,000!

Kenny

You guys are getting paid?

Scottie P.

What, come on girl. You texting me girl. You know what's up?

Rose

Scottie! Hey! get you hands off of her! Come here Casey. [To Scottie P.] And you put your hands on her one more time. I swear I will rip that **** tattoo right off your chest! You know what I'm saying?

Scottie P.

Oh, really bitch?

Rose

Yeah, bitch!

Kenny

You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone man?

Scottie P.

What do you gonna do about it? Eye brows?

Kenny

One...two... [Rose immediately punches him]

Scottie P.

Broke my nose. How aggresive, woman. You know what I'm saying? [Scottie P. walks away]

Casey

Are you okay?

Rose

I'm fine.

Casey

That was awesome, you just **** decked him!

Rose

Yeah, well I just dealt with him like the assholes like him at work. Come on, let's just get outta here. Thanks for the back up, Kenny. What's with the count? If you gonna punch somebody, you punch 'em on the one.

Kenny

Well, David told me to count.

Rose

David? David hasn't punch anybody, ever. I think the exit is this way.

David

I have returned.

Casey

Go **** yourself.

David

This is what I miss right? The ping pong action. The repartée. Casey says; "Go **** yourself" then you go **** yourself, and then Rose, you say; "you go **** yourself", then Kenny's like; "I don't wanna **** anybody".

Rose

We're not getting in the RV.

David

What? okay, okay. I know whats this is about, and I get it. We gonna split the $500,000, evenly, between the four of us. You guys get what i'm saying here. Kenny, you wanna be like this. Thats a lot of video games kiddo. Casey, you can buy a house, run away from it, you know what i'm mean? Like whatever. You get $125.000, You get $125.000, you get a... you know, I'm like ****in' Oprah here. You know, like if she was a white dude at a carnival. Okay look, what do you want? you want me to beg? Kids, what do you think?