Scottie P. What's up dog?
Not much dog, what's up with you?
Scottie P. I'm here to pick up Casey. You know what I'm sayin'?
Well, I'm awake and I speak English, so yeah, I know what you're saying.
Played by Mark L. Young 
We're the Millers (2013) · 23 quotes
We're the Millers (2013) · 23 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in We're the Millers (2013): in 3 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: David Clark (3), Casey (2), Rose (2)
Scenes with Scottie P.
3 scenes Scottie P. Scottie P. 
[Casey and Scottie P. are about to leave]
Wait a second, hold on come here. I'd like to have a little chat with your friend
Are you kidding me?
I am not kidding you. Would you please have a seat?
What is going on?
So, Scottie P., what exactly do you for a living?
Oh, Mom!
Scottie P. I work for P&J Amusements. I maintain the monkey maze, if you know what I'm saying.
What the hell is a monkey maze?
Scottie P. Oh, it's like terrifying death trap, but, for little kids.
Hey, thats are some cool tats, man.
Scottie P. Ah, for real, thanks bro. You see the cobra?
What is these one? Whats the one right there?
Scottie P. Oh, these, thats my credo. [Pulls down shirt collar to reveal "NO RAGRETS"]
No regrets; How 'bout that you have no regrets?
Dad... [Casey flips off both David and Rose behind Scottie P.'s back with both hand]
Scottie P. No. Not one.
Like not even single letter?
Scottie P. No way... uh huh, at least, not me [laughs].
Dad... I love him.
I think he's great. I think he's real winner Casey. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection, have fun. Scottie P. you're the man [High fives him]
Scottie P. Yeah? For real. Nice meeting you man. Alright, you too. [Casey gets on Scottie P.'s motorcycle and he speeds off, narrowly missing people on the campsite]
[To Rose]
Come on, she'll gonna be fine. Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. Actually, she might already be pregnant.
Scottie P. What, come on girl. You texting me girl. You know what's up?
Scottie! Hey! get you hands off of her! Come here Casey. [To Scottie P.] And you put your hands on her one more time. I swear I will rip that **** tattoo right off your chest! You know what I'm saying?
Scottie P. Oh, really bitch?
Yeah, bitch!
You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone man?
Scottie P. What do you gonna do about it? Eye brows?
One...two... [Rose immediately punches him]
Scottie P. Broke my nose. How aggresive, woman. You know what I'm saying? [Scottie P. walks away]
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
That was awesome, you just **** decked him!
Yeah, well I just dealt with him like the assholes like him at work. Come on, let's just get outta here. Thanks for the back up, Kenny. What's with the count? If you gonna punch somebody, you punch 'em on the one.
Well, David told me to count.
David? David hasn't punch anybody, ever. I think the exit is this way.
I have returned.
Go **** yourself.
This is what I miss right? The ping pong action. The repartée. Casey says; "Go **** yourself" then you go **** yourself, and then Rose, you say; "you go **** yourself", then Kenny's like; "I don't wanna **** anybody".
We're not getting in the RV.
What? okay, okay. I know whats this is about, and I get it. We gonna split the $500,000, evenly, between the four of us. You guys get what i'm saying here. Kenny, you wanna be like this. Thats a lot of video games kiddo. Casey, you can buy a house, run away from it, you know what i'm mean? Like whatever. You get $125.000, You get $125.000, you get a... you know, I'm like ****in' Oprah here. You know, like if she was a white dude at a carnival. Okay look, what do you want? you want me to beg? Kids, what do you think?
