Jo
Where's the road Rabbit?!
Rabbit
It should be any second!
(the group come out on the road a moment later and nearly crash into Jonas' convoy)
Played by Alan Ruck 
Twister (1996) · 36 quotes
Twister (1996) · 36 quotes
Scenes with Rabbit
10 scenes Rabbit
Rabbit
Y'know, in a severe lightning storm, you want to grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Haynes
He's right. If you're gonna get hit it's the safest orifice.
Joey
Yeah, I'd like to get hit by lightning once, y'know, see what it's like.
Rabbit
God Meg, you got alot of beef. Where'd you get all this beef?
Aunt Meg
Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit
No.
Aunt Meg
Op...aaah!
Rabbit
[laughter from everyone]
Oh.
Dusty
You slaughter your own cows! Meg, nice!
Dusty
So we get this one near Daleton right?
Rabbit
Oh, god.
Dusty
And we are way to close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.
Beltzer
[points to Bill]
And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...
Dusty
He is naked!
Rabbit
He is buck naked.
Beltzer
Naked!
Bill
NOT naked! [laughter] I was not naked!
Beltzer
[whispering into Melissa's ear]
He was without apparel.
Bill
Half naked.
Dusty
Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right? [laughter] And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground. The twister caught it, and sucked it right up!
Bill
Honey, this is a tissue full of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
Dusty
I LOVE THIS GUY!
Rabbit
Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.
Jo
[Aunt Meg is being loaded into an ambulance]
Is she OK?
Paramedic
We'll probably keep her overnight just to be safe.
Aunt Meg
Overnight? Forget it, I'm all right.
Jo
You're going to the hospital.
Aunt Meg
OK, I'll go, but I'm gonna drive myself.
Rabbit
Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner.
Aunt Meg
OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rabbit
You know, Jo, some of us couldn't help but notice how close we are to Wakita.
Jo
No.
Sanders
Aunt Meg wouldn't mind a pit stop, right?
Jo
No!
Dusty
Red meat! We crave sustenance!
Jo
Guys, we are NOT invading my aunt!
Dusty
F-food!
Rest of the Team
Food! FOOD!
Jo
Hey! We're absolutely not going!
Jo
[Bill sees Jonas talking to a camera crew about his D.O.T.3 system, then starts angrily walking toward him]
Bill?
Bill
Why didn't you tell me?
Jo
Bill, don't!
Joey
Uh, what?
Jonas
And what will soon be the center of all studies- [Bill punches Jonas off his hat and slams him against his D.O.T.3 system] Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
Bill
[Bill's team goes to stop Bill arguing with Jonas]
You son-of-a-bitch! What, did you think I wasn't gonna find out?
Jonas
Hey guys, get this loser off of me!
Jonas's team member #1
[Bill's team comes to pull Bill off of Jonas, so as Jonas's team pushing Bill away]
Alright! Back off! Back off!
Jonas's team member #2
Put your malfunction, man!
Joey
Come on, he's not worth it!
Jonas
What is the matter with you?!
Bill
[Tries to push at Jonas again]
You stole my design, you son of a bitch!
Joey
Calm down!
Jonas
[Pushes Bill back]
What the hell are you talking about?!
Bill
DOROTHY. You took her, you damn THIEF!
Jonas
[Realizes what Bill is talking about and smiles]
Oh, I get it. You wanna take credit for my designs, is that it?
Bill
You're a liar. She was our idea and you know it!
Jonas
Unrealized idea. Unrealized.
Bill
That thing ain't worth shit! [Tries to attack Jonas again, Jo helps stop it]
Jo
Hey! Hey, guys! Bill! Guys! GUYS!!! Oh my guys! Get a grip on yourselves. We both know they'll never get that thing up in the air.
Joey
That's right!
Jonas
Well, let me enlighten you people. This baby has satellite com-link. We've got an onboard pulse Doppler, and we've got NEXRAD real-time. Today, we're gonna make history. So stick around, 'cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Rabbit
Better than what you sniff.
Bill
We'll see who gets it first, PAL.
Jonas
Oh, and by the way...[Referring to Bill's new weatherman job] I really enjoy your weather reports. [Laughs and walks away]
Bill
[Some of Jonas's team members laugh] [Tries to go after Jonas again]
JEEZ YOU SLIME!!! I'm not through with you, yet!
Rabbit
[Melissa sees the commotion. Jo's team holds Bill back until Jonas leaves, so as Jonas's team pushing Bill away. Bill then shoves them away, though still fuming]
Alright! Alright!
Bill
Come on! Come here! Come on! Come on! Get your hands off of me! Let go of me! OKAY!!!
Sanders
He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!
Jo
[Walks to Bill]
I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Bill
[Glaring at Jo]
ONE DAY. I'll give you one day. Whether she flies or not, I'm gone.
Rabbit
Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps.
Sanders
I didn't fold the maps.
Rabbit
Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL THE MAPS.
Rabbit
Try to find this road. It's like Bob's Road...
