Beltzer (Jo and Bill are too busy arguing to notice a tornado)
Hey, are you gonna wrap this up?
WHAT?
Beltzer Oh nothing, I was just wondering if we were going to chase this tornado or just catch the next one.
SHIT!!
Played by Todd Field 
Twister (1996) · 36 quotes
Twister (1996) · 36 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Twister (1996): in 4 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Bill (3)
Scenes with Beltzer
4 scenes Beltzer Beltzer 
So we get this one near Daleton right?
Oh, god.
And we are way to close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.
Beltzer [points to Bill]
And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...
He is naked!
He is buck naked.
Beltzer Naked!
NOT naked! [laughter] I was not naked!
Beltzer [whispering into Melissa's ear]
He was without apparel.
Half naked.
Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right? [laughter] And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground. The twister caught it, and sucked it right up!
Honey, this is a tissue full of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
I LOVE THIS GUY!
Preacher
No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F-3?
Solid F-2.
See, now you've lost me again.
It's the Fujita Scale. It measures the intensity of a tornado by how much it eats.
Eats?
Destroys.
Lawrence
The one we last encountered was a strong F-2, maybe an F-3.
Beltzer Maybe we'll see some F-4's today.
That would be sweet!
4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficiently.
Is there an F-5? [silence falls over the group] What would that be like?
Preacher
...The Finger of God.
None of you has ever seen an F-5?
...Just one of us.
Beltzer Okay, Professor! Hang on there, I think I fixed it. I got it.
[almost gets electrocuted by a short in the portable Doppler radar unit]
**** me, this thing is USELESS!
Beltzer Whoops. Sorry, Jo.
