Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

142 total quotes

Cal Naughton, Jr.
Glenn
Jean Girard
Lucius

Multiple Characters
Reese Bobby
Ricky Bobby
Texas Ranger Bobby
Walker Bobby

View Quote Cal: I like to think of Jesus with, like, big eagle's wings, singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, an angel band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk...
Carly: Hey, Cal, why don't you just shut up?
Cal: Yes, ma'am.

View Quote Ricky: No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop!
Jean: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

View Quote Ricky: Dear Tiny, Infant, Jesus...
Carley: Um, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off-puttin' to pray to a baby.
Ricky: Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin' grace. When you say grace, you can say it to Grownup Jesus or Teenage Jesus or Bearded Jesus or whoever you want.

View Quote Cal: [as Ricky prepares to start his first race] Remember when we got kicked out of biology for playing with Matchbox cars?!
Ricky: Yeah!
Cal: Who's ****ed now?!
Ricky: Yeah!
Cal: Hey, what are you doin' after this?
Ricky: After the race?
Cal: Yeah!
Ricky: I don't know, but it feels like we're wastin' a lot of time!
Cal: Aw, I know! I'm just excited!

View Quote Mike Joy: Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push, has a huge Fig Newtons sticker on his windshield.
Darrell Waltrip: I think NASCAR'll give him the black flag for that.
Mike Joy: He sold the windshield!
Ricky: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.

View Quote Cal: Hey, when you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time, how do you control the volume on the T.V.?
Ricky: Why would you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time?
Cal: 'Cause I like to party.

View Quote Walker: Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
Texas Ranger: I don't even know what that means, but I love it!

View Quote Jean: Monsieur "Booby", by defeating me today, you have set me free. And for that, I thank you. [He offers his hand to Ricky]
Ricky: [shoving Girard's hand away] I will never shake your hand. Ever. But I will give you this...[he passionately kisses Girard]
Jean: Sir...you taste...of America.
Ricky: Thank you. [Girard leans in for another kiss] Noooo...once was good. Once was good.

View Quote Chip: Ricky, remember: The fieldmouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. [maniacal laughter]
Cal: That's kinda creepy, ain't it?

View Quote Lucius: Listen, if we don't get that car back on the track, our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast?
Ricky: [raising his hand] I wanna go fast!

View Quote Reese: Look, all I got to my name is a car, and a duffel bag full of underwear and sweet, stinky weed.
Walker: How much you sellin' that weed for, old man?

View Quote Ricky: Cal, you could say that 10,000 times, and it still wouldn't be enough.
Cal: It fires me up, man.
Ricky: I know, say it one more time.
Cal: Shake and Bake!
Carley: Whoo!
Ricky: Doesn't that feel good?
Cal: Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs...it's awesome!

View Quote Jarvis: Cal, you should probably pay attention. I think he's passing you.
Cal: Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious?
Jarvis: No, he's actually passin' you! That's happenin' right now!

View Quote Walker: Shut up in here, I'm tryin' to sleep!
Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!

View Quote Carley, Cal, Walker, Texas Ranger: Jenga!