Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes

View Quote Ricky: Cal, you could say that 10,000 times, and it still wouldn't be enough.
Cal: It fires me up, man.
Ricky: I know, say it one more time.
Cal: Shake and Bake!
Carley: Whoo!
Ricky: Doesn't that feel good?
Cal: Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs...it's awesome!

View Quote Walker: Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
Texas Ranger: I don't even know what that means, but I love it!

View Quote Jean: Monsieur "Booby", by defeating me today, you have set me free. And for that, I thank you. [He offers his hand to Ricky]
Ricky: [shoving Girard's hand away] I will never shake your hand. Ever. But I will give you this...[he passionately kisses Girard]
Jean: Sir...you taste...of America.
Ricky: Thank you. [Girard leans in for another kiss] Noooo...once was good. Once was good.

View Quote Ricky: [after Reese offers to help him go fast again] Fine. I'll do it. But I ain't callin' you Daddy.
Reese: Well, what are you gonna call me then?
Ricky: [later] All right, Professor Dickweed, what's the plan?

View Quote Cal: Hey, when you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time, how do you control the volume on the T.V.?
Ricky: Why would you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time?
Cal: 'Cause I like to party.

View Quote Lucius: Now, Ricky, the doctor told us we should let you work it out on your own sweet time, but...Ricky, you can walk.
Ricky: What'd you just say?
Cal: He's tellin' you the truth, man.
Ricky: You sick...sons of bitches! You walk in here, on your two legs, all fat, and ****y, and lookin' at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons! Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented, and star athletes, and they have their legs taken away! I mean, I pray you know that pain and that hurt!
Lucius: DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RICKY BOBBY! DON'T YOU PUT THAT ON US! YOU are NOT paralyzed!
Ricky: I am SO paralyzed!
Lucius: NO, NO!
Cal: Don't be rough on him, now.
Lucius: No, he needs to know!
Cal: Okay.
Lucius: He's always cryin' !
Cal: Alright, tough love it is, tough love. [to Ricky] Wake up, idiot!
Ricky: [pulls out a knife] You wanna know what I am?! You wanna see what my life is?!
Lucius: Don't do it!
Ricky: You wanna see what's goin' on here?!
Cal: Don't you stick that knife in your leg...
Ricky: [he sticks the knife in his leg] [pause] AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!

View Quote Ricky: No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop!
Jean: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

View Quote Chip: Ricky, remember: The fieldmouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. [maniacal laughter]
Cal: That's kinda creepy, ain't it?

View Quote Mike Joy: Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push, has a huge Fig Newtons sticker on his windshield.
Darrell Waltrip: I think NASCAR'll give him the black flag for that.
Mike Joy: He sold the windshield!
Ricky: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.

View Quote Jarvis: Cal, you should probably pay attention. I think he's passing you.
Cal: Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious?
Jarvis: No, he's actually passin' you! That's happenin' right now!

View Quote Glenn: So, I was talking to Nana on Saturday. Her birthday's coming up, and I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88...
Kyle: Get her a coffin.

View Quote Susan: Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. I painted the car, I...we had sex.
Reese: You did?
Susan & Ricky: Yeah.
Reese: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.

View Quote Ricky: Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden, fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...
Chip: He was a man! He had a beard!
Ricky: I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?! I win the races and I get the money! I work too hard for your bull, Chip.

View Quote Texas Ranger: [complaining about doing community service] I gotta tell ya Granny, this blows!
Walker: How much more of this?
Lucy: Well, I don't know. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?

View Quote Lucius: Listen, if we don't get that car back on the track, our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast?
Ricky: [raising his hand] I wanna go fast!