Stripes 1981 quotes

Capt. Stillman

It looks like a fine group of men, Sergeant.

Ox

I sure hope this is the mess hall! (to Stillman, observing his Captain insignia): How's it goin', Eisenhower?!

Sgt. Hulka

Yes, sir, a fine group of men.

Russell Ziskey

Okay, I know you're anxious to jump right in and start speaking English, but there's a couple of things I need to know first, because I've never done this before. So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulties?

Russell Ziskey

A little English?

Russell Ziskey

Yes? You speak some English?

Son of bitch. Shit.

Son of bitch. Shit.

Captain Stillman

All right, soldier, let's see how you fire that mortar.

Soldier with Mortar

What coordinates, sir?

Captain Stillman

Coordinates?

Soldier with Mortar

Yes, sir, they determine where the mortar's...

Captain Stillman

Soldier, the army has spent a lot of money teaching you to fire that thing. Now set it and fire it.

Soldier with Mortar

Sir, we don't know where the shell's gonna...

Captain Stillman

Soldier. The only way to learn anything is to do it. Now fire the weapon.

Captain Stillman

Well, explain yourselves.

We were going to the Bingo parlour...at the YMCA. Well, one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up and...

Captain Stillman

Shut up.

Okay, Sir.

Captain Stillman

You men are a disgrace! Maybe a few days in the stockade will help you change your rotten attitudes.

Cruiser

But um, we're supposed to graduate tomorrow, sir.

Captain Stillman

That's even better. Tomorrow you're going to be on parade in front of General Barnicke. And when he sees what total **** ups you really are, I will personally recommend that the whole platoon will repeat the entire course of basic training.

Captain Stillman

Where the ****'s my truck? Where - ? WHERE'S MY TRUCK? Hey, where's the EM-50?

Soldier Outside Motor Pool

A couple of soldiers took it to get it washed sir.

Cruiser

I guess we're going after John and Russell. I can't believe they're Russian spies. Can you?

Psycho

All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.

Cruiser

I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I figured I better join before I got drafted.

Son, there ain't no draft no more.

Cruiser

There was one?

General Barnicke

Where the hell have you been, soldier?

John Winger

Traaaaaaaining, sir!

Training, sir!

General Barnicke

What kind of training, son?

John Winger

Aaaaaaarmy training, sir!

Army training, sir!

General Barnicke

Where's your drill sergeant, men?

John Winger

Blown up, sir!

Capt. Stillman

Uhh, yes, sir, these are Sgt. Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.

General Barnicke

I soo. So am I to understand you men completed your training on your own?

John Winger

Tha's the fact, Jack!

That's the fact, Jack!

General Barnicke

Captain, these are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on my EM-50 project.

Capt. Stillman

But, sir . . .

General Barnicke

Don't "But" me, Captain. I want them on the plane. Tonight!

John Winger

Gentlemen, it's party time...battalion style!

John Winger

C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin.

Russell Ziskey

Well, I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it.

John Winger

Come on. Let's take the truck.

Russell Ziskey

No.

John Winger

Yes.

Russell Ziskey

No.

John Winger

Yes.

Russell Ziskey

No.

John Winger

Yes.

Russell Ziskey

No.

John Winger

I'll drive.

Russell Ziskey

Okay.

John Winger

I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.

Russell Ziskey

You still have your health.

Louise Cooper

It's called 'Force Field' and you try to get as close as you can without touching.

Russell Ziskey

Oh, I think I'm good at this.

Louise Cooper

We'll see.

Louise Cooper

You broke my force field.

Russell Ziskey

Yeah, you win. [kisses her]

You can't leave that car there! It's a loading zone!

John Winger

We're not parking it, we're abandoning it.

My name's Dewey Oxberger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.

Nooo! Noooo!

Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me. I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!

Psycho

My name's Francis Sawyer... but everyone calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis... I'll kill ya.

Ooooooh.

Psycho

You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff... I'll kill ya. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me... I'll kill ya.

Lighten up, Francis. We're all in this together. One of these men may save your life one of these days, you understand that?
'Winger: Then again maybe one of us won't.

Recruiter

I'm not saying the army will do for you what it did for me. All I'm saying is you get out of it exactly what you put into it. Sometimes, the army's your best shot. Now there a couple of questions I have to ask you, they're a little personal; Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.

Winger

Convicted? No.

Russell

Never convicted.

Recruiter

That's good. Are either of you, uh, homosexual?

Winger

You mean like flaming?

Recruiter

Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.

Russell

No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.

Winger

Yeah ... would they send us someplace special?

Recruiter

I guess that's "no" on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph here.

Winger

"Sammy, get well soon"

Recruiter

That's good, now your name.
[Winger hums dramatic music as he passes the pen to Russell who also signs]