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Stripes

Stripes quotes

48 total quotes

Capt. Stillman
Dewey Oxburger
John Winger
Russell Ziskey
Sgt. Hulka


Russell Ziskey: You could join a monastery.
John Winger: Did you ever see a monk get wildly ****ed by some teenage girls?
Russell Ziskey: Never.
John Winger: So much for the monastery.


Sergeant Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.
John Winger: Uncle Hulka?

Sergeant Hulka: Now, since nobody else has got the guts...
[turns to John]
Sergeant Hulka: ...to admit it, the rest of this platoon... will do the next two weekends on KP.
[soldiers groan]
Sergeant Hulka: How's that sound to you, mister?
John Winger: I think it sucks.

Sergeant Hulka: Okay, Mr. Push-ups, let's hear your story.
John Winger: Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.
[points to the soldier next to him]
John Winger: Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. But the two of us together? Forget it! I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka.
[the soldiers start clapping]
Sergeant Hulka: Well, okay, hotshot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are.

Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.
John Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.

Sergeant Hulka: We got a full day ahead of us. We're gonna start out with a five-mile run.
[Soldiers groan]
John Winger: I know that I'm speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.
Sergeant Hulka: Well, I'll tell you what, soldier. Let's make it ten miles.

Sergeant Hulka: When I tell you move, you'll move fast. When I tell you to jump, you're gonna say, "How high?" And make no mistake. I don't care where you come from, I don't care what color you are, I don't care how smart you are, I don't care how dumb you are, 'cause I'm gonna teach every last one of you how to eat, sleep, walk, talk, shoot, shit like a United States soldier. Understand?
Cruiser: Yes, sir.

Sergeant Hulka: You don't say "sir" to me, I'm a sergeant, I work for a living.
Soldiers: Yes, sergeant!
Sergeant Hulka: I didn't hear you!
Soldiers: YES, SERGEANT!
Sergeant Hulka: That's what I wanna hear.
John Winger: Do you think this guy's over-doing it a bit?

Sgt. Hulka: Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me.
John Winger: I 'd like to take a big swing at you, sarge.
Sgt. Hulka: Well, go ahead and give it your best shot.
John Winger: I don't think I want to go to the stockade.
Sgt. Hulka: I'll take my hat off. There we are, Winger. Ain't no more drill sergeant. It's just you and me, kid, man to man. So go ahead, give it your best shot. Swing at me. Gutless. Punk.
[Winger fakes, then tries to hit Sgt. Hulka, who ducks and punches Winger in his stomach, dropping him to his knees, gasping for breath.]
Sgt. Hulka: [putting his hat back on] I'm willing to forget this little incident. And I want you to think real hard about it. And maybe someday you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about.

[after the "Aunt Jemima Treatment"]
John Winger: It's nice to know you could move like that.
Stella Hansen: Well, it's nice to know you could get me that hot.

[after stumbling on the sidewalk] Have that removed.

[spying on female soldiers taking showers] I wish I was a loofah.

And then depression set in.

Don't order the Schnitzel, they're using Schnauzer.

Excuse me, stewardess, is there a movie on this flight?