LeBron James
Ball. [basketball dispenser shoots a basketball, he catches it in his hands] I need us to focus so we can beat this Al-G guy and I can get my son back.
Daffy Duck
[steps up]
I'm coach. I'll take it from here. The dictionary defines basketball [Bugs Bunny shrinks him] as a game played between 2 teams of 5.
Bugs Bunny
Eh, look here, Cleveland, we got a certain way of doing things around here.
LeBron James
Let's start with the basics. Lola, show 'em how we do it.
Daffy Duck
[walks away]
You're despicable.
Lola Bunny
[dribbles and hoops the ball]
Simplest shot in the game. [the Tune Squad are amazed]
Sylvester
Suffering succotash.
Porky Pig
Oh, wow!
LeBron James
Nice layup. That's fundamental basketball.
Daffy Duck
[normal size]
Fundamental basketball. That's what I've been saying. Sam, shoot the ball. [Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his guns and Daffy's beak while the other Tunes run away] Let's try that again, shall we?
Elmer Fudd
[during halftime, the Tune Squad are recovering from their injuries]
Pwease don't wet us get deweted. Pwease don't wet us get deweted.
Lola Bunny
Come on, guys. Don't give up. There's a whole other half to play.
Speedy Gonzales
Oh, mi cabeza!
Lola Bunny
I'm telling you, we can still win this.
Porky Pig
How? We're g-g-g-g-g-getting deceimated!
Daffy Duck
[with his bill on backwards]
We need a boost. A pick-me-up. [fixes his bill] A secret weapon!
Granny
[having a martini]
We need a miracle!
Sylvester
[Daffy grabs the martini and splashes it on his face]
I don't know if this counts as a miracle, but I found Michael Jordan! He was in the audience. I know he can help. [salutes as the theme song plays]
Bugs Bunny
[stands up]
His Airness?!
Daffy Duck
You found him?
Yosemite Sam
Oh, I can feel his power already!
Tweety
[flies by]
Ooh! I can hear his shoes!
Daffy Duck
[a silhouette was walking down and Bugs Bunny's smile grows bigger]
At guard, 6'6" from North Carolina, [the Tune Squad cheer] #23, Michael Jorda-eh-uh?
LeBron James
[the silhouette reveals to be Michael B Jordan. The Tune Squad are confused, as Daffy's jaw drops, and he drops the microphone]
C'mon, man. That's Michael B Jordan. The actor.
MB Michael B Jordan
[waves his hand, Sylvester shakes his head]
I was just gettin' some popcorn and then this cat grabbed me.
Daffy Duck
We couldn't get Michael A Jordan, so we got Michael B Jordan?!
Elmer Fudd
How could you think he was His Airness? [stretches Sylvester's neck] They wook nothing awike!
Sylvester
It's been 25 years. I thought he aged gracefully.
MB Michael B Jordan
This is awkward, um, but I believe in you guys, okay? Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! Ya hear me?! CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, CAN'T LOSE! SAY IT WITH ME...
LeBron James
Mike. [makes a gesture with his hand as if to say "cut it out"]
MB Michael B Jordan
Yeah, you got this. [Daffy writes down "Wrong Jordan!! Trade Sylvester" on his clipboard] I'm-I'm too much. You're right. I'm sorry. [walks out of the room] I'm-I'mma go back to my seat. You came back 3-1.
Sylvester
Well...
MB Michael B Jordan
You killed it. You can do it again! [Wile E Coyote shrugs]
LeBron James
Right.
Daffy Duck
Ugh, well, that was a bust. [throws away the clipboard] Anyone else got any bright ideas?
Lola Bunny
Come on! Get it together, guys! The Tune Squad doesn't give up at halftime! The Tune Squad doesn't give up ever!
LeBron James
We're down a thousand points. No time is comin' back from this.
Yosemite Sam
Well, why don't you try coachin' us better, bucko?!
LeBron James
I've been coachin' y'all this whole time. Sylvester over here gettin' the wrong MJ, Granny's out here havin' a martini at halftime, and Taz might as well be playin' for the other team!
Daffy Duck
Your son plays for the other team!
Tweety Bird
Yeah! You're a bad dad!
LeBron James
I'm a bad dad? I've been tryin' to save my son and coach y'all at the same time. What y'all doin'?
Lola Bunny
We've been trying!
LeBron James
Tryin' to do what?!
Lola Bunny
Trying to be like you.
Bugs Bunny
[LeBron's eye widen in realization]
And it's not workin'.
LeBron James
[LeBron realizes how he was acting]
'Cuz you're not me. [looks down at his shows signed by his children] "You never let me just... do me." Okay, I got it. New game plan. [pulls down a whiteboard] Bugs? [hands Bugs the marker] Time to do what you guys do best.
Bugs Bunny
[Bugs looks at the marker and glances at LeBron, who smiles at him; he then looks at the other Tune Squad members]
Ya know somethin'? If we're goin' out, we're goin' out Looney! Let's go, team! All Tuney, big moony, full Looney!
[the Tune Squad all cheer]
