This... You film your entire high school experience, and, what, post it on the 'net?
Everybody will be doing it some day.
It's kind of the one component the killer is missing.
Gale Wait, what do you mean?
Well, if you wanna be the new, new version, the killer should be filming the murders.
Yeah, it's like the natural next step in the psycho-slasher innovation. I mean, you film them all real-time, and before you get caught, you upload them into cyberspace.
Making your art as immortal as you. [speaking the same time as Robbie] Not to implicate him.
[speaking same time as Charlie]
Not to implicate me.
So, who do you think is doing the murders?
Well, it's a Stab fanatic, clearly. Working on less of a Shrequel and more of a Screamake.
Copyright terms, by the way.
'Cause all there are now are remakes. Only horror studios green-light. I mean, there are still rules, but the rules have changed. The unexpected is the new cliche.
Yeah, you gotta have an opening sequence that blows the doors off - gallop some music video direction and the kill's gotta be way more extreme.
Modern audiences get sappy to the rules of the original. So, the reverse has become the new standard. In fact, the only sure-fire way to survive a modern horror movie, you pretty much gotta be gay.
Gale [pause]
So, why are you so sure that the killer is working by the rules of a horror remake?
Well, the original Stab structure is pretty apparent.
Yeah, two kids killed in a house when their parents are away?
And, then the school's 'hot chick' savage beyond recognition.
We all know where it goes from there...?
Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
Fingers crossed on some nudity for a change...
Gale [Dewey enters Gale's room.]
Is she gonna be okay?
Yeah. She's a strong kid.
Gale She's gonna have to be.
She has the few okay? She thinks you guys should write the book together with your matching moves.
Gale [surprised]
Why, she was stabbed in the shoulder? [Dewey nods.] How does she know... I was too...?
[They rush out of the hallway]
[After Jill knocks Dewey unconscious, she gets his gun and goes to Sidney.]
Is this how it's gonna be, Sid? The ending of the movie was supposed to be at the house! I mean, this is just... [through clenched teeth] Silly!
Consider this an alternative ending. You're never gonna get away with this, Jill.
Gale Dewey! :[enters Sidney's room, Jill aims her gun at her] Sid... [turns to Jill.] Easy... Okay, okay... What about the book?
Looks like I'll just have to write it myself! [Judy appears and saves Gale through the hospital bed. Jill shoots, but misses] Goddammit! [Gale and Judy hide under the bed.] Don't even think about shooting, [aims the gun at Dewey.] or I'll blow Dewey's head off. [Gale and Judy turn to each other] What, you think I won't do it?! Give me your gun!
Gale [to Judy]
Do it.
[Judy slowly rises. Sidney gets up and sees this. Judy slowly raises her hands.]
Just had to be the hero, huh? [aims the gun at Judy.] Give me your gun. [Judy doesn't respond.] What are you, deaf?! Give me! Your gun! [Judy tosses the gun to Jill, who kicks it away. Sidney reaches for the defibrilator] Now get up. [Judy does so] And keep your hands over your head.
[Jill shoots her in the chest.]
Don't **** tell me what to do!
Gale Oh, God...
[Jill aims the gun at Gale.]
Now get up, bitch!
Gale Okay.
Get up! [Gale looks at her] Now!
Gale Okay.
[Gale slowly gets up and checks Sidney.]
Come on! [Gale checks Dewey, who regains consciousness.] Let's go. Get your skinny ass out here!
Gale Okay.
[Sidney turns on the defibrillator.]
I'm gonna enjoy blowing your head off.
Gale Okay, but... Can I just have one final word?
Gale [Sidney grabs two defibrillator pads.]
No... [The defibrillator charges to 360 joules.] Clear.
[Sidney appears behind Jill, with the defibrillator]
Clear. [electrocutes Jill, until she collapses on the floor.] You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill: "Don't **** with the original".
Gale [Gale goes to Dewey.]
Oh, my God, Dewey!
Gale [to Sidney]
Are you okay?
[Sidney nods]
[Jill gets up and grabs a glass shard.]
She was standing right behind me!
Gale [Jill stumbles further to Sidney and tries to to kill her, but Sidney grabs the gun and shoots Jill in the chest. Jill collapses on the floor, dead. Everyone sighs]
Oh, my God...
Gale [shocked]
Hicks, you're alive?!
[Judy unbuttons her uniform, revealing she's wearing a bullet-proof vest.]
"Wear the vest, save your chest".
[Judy collapses. Dewey responds on his radio.]
I got two officers down, several injuries, and a new suspect. [faints]
Gale We need a doctor! Goddamn it! [rushes out to the hallway]
[to her cousin's dead body]
I don’t know about you, but I feel a whole better.
