Scream 4 (2011) · 25 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Scream 4 (2011): in 8 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Jill (5), Charlie (3), Olivia (3)
Kirby Before you get in the car you have to promise not to kill me!
Why? What'd you do?
Kirby Trevor called me last night!
Why is he calling you?
Kirby Reed Because you won't take his calls and he knows I have your ear!
He called you, too?
He thinks that your cousin coming to town is making you forget how sorry he really is!
I'm here with the beautiful Olivia "Don't-Look-At-My-Tits-I-Have-A-Mind" Morris! And my annual Woodsboro question "What's your favorite scary movie"
Where did you hear that anyway?
It's a line from Stab 1!
Um...You're a genre nut, Kirby! What's your favorite scary movie?
Kirby Bambi. [pushes Robbie out of the way] Dork. [flirting with Charlie] What?
That's funny, Kirby!
Totally unaware you exist!
Yeah! [after Robbie has walked off] Asshole!
I think Charlie likes you!
Kirby And I like him - To tease, to torment, to make him squirm!
Trust me, you could do a lot worse.
Kirby Hi, Trevor! [nervously] Bye, Trevor!
[Jill stares at Kirby in surprise]
Kirby It's Trevor. I'll handle this.
Kirby What do you want?
I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby Uh... no. It's Kirby. Sorry, Trevor, Jill is screening her calls from all past relationships.
What's going on over there?
I'm not Trevor.
Kirby What? I can barely hear you, Trevor.
This isn't Trevor.
Kirby Oh. Oh, alright, then why do you have his phone? Whoever this is. [turns to Jill.] He's trying to do Ghostface. [laughs]
I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby Okay, well, she doesn't want to talk to you. Come on, Mr. Ghostface, whisper to me.. Or are you just supposed to ask me a question?
Alright. How's the movie?
Kirby What movie?
Shaun of the Dead?
Kirby How did you know that?
Because I'm standing in the closet.
Kirby Stop, you're not.
What is going on?
Kirby Trevor's being weird. I mean, if it is him, I don't know.
What?
This is not **** Trevor!
Kirby Well, then who the **** are you?
Open the closet door.
[Kirby looks at the closet.] :
Kirby You do know there are cops all over the house?
I think I have just enough time to slice someone open!
I'll talk to him.
Kirby Shh...
What's going on over there, you guys?
Kirby Shh...
Kirby.
Come on, do it.
Kirby There's no way you're in there. [stumbles to the closet.]
See for yourself.
Kirby? Kirby, come on, talk to me. This isn't funny. Kirby!
Kirby Liar. I'm over this!
I never said I was in your closet.
What?
[The killer breaks through Olivia's closet and begins attacking her]
Alright, I hope no-one minds, but I'm putting on Stab 7! No-one cancels my movie night!
Kirby Oh, come on! It was her favorite!
Wow, Kirby. You've got some real classics here!
Kirby Yep. I could trivia your ass under the table, Cinema Boy!
Alright... Who played Leatherface first?
Kirby Gunnar Hansen!
Wow, did you feel that charge between us just then?
Kirby Oh, that was me! I have powers!
Hey, have you seen Jill?
Kirby Yes, Trevor! She's upstairs! Thank god you're here to protect her, when you can't even find her!
Oh, I love this part! Just when they think they're safe...Ghostface comes in, and BAM! [Charlie storms off and Kirby glares at Trevor] Did I interrupt something?
Kirby Who invited you, Trevor?!
Okay! Sheesh! Obviously, it wasn't you. [leaves the living room] I'm going to find Jill!
Kirby Get out of my house!
Kirby It's Charlie's phone. [unlocks her phone.]
Tell Sidney it's the rule tonight! Tell Sidney it's all because of her! Or maybe she was into his place. I promise to be quick!
Kirby It's him.
Okay, Kirby, I'm gonna get Jill. Wish me in the same place. Just keep him on the phone. I-I'll be right back okay?
Kirby Let him go, please.
I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab. Instead, you get to live it.
Kirby No. No, no, no, no. He's the expert. It's not me.
Warm up question: Jason's weapon?
Kirby Uh, it's a machete.
There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby Uh, butcher knife.
Leatherface?
Kirby Chainsaw! Please!
Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby Razor-hands.
Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left, or Psycho?
Kirby Psycho.
None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer's POV!
Kirby Wait! No, no, no! Please, just ask me one more question! Just one more!
All right, Kirby, then it's time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill...---
Kirby Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have E-e-eyes, Amityville Horror, Uh-uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha! It's one of those, right? Right?! [The killer hangs up the call. Everything is silent] [relieved] I got it right. I was **** right!
Don't worry, Charlie. I **** won. I won. He tried to beat me, but I **** won!
Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her in the stomach.] Four years of class together, and you notice me now? You stupid bitch! It's too late! [stabs Kirby again.] Shhh, I know. It doesn't happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
Kirby Ch-Ch-Charlie...!
[Charlie gets irritated and drops Kirby and he runs away]
