Simon Cowell
Uh, congratulations, gentlemen. You are terrible.
Played by Simon Cowell 
Scoob! (2020) · 126 quotes
Scoob! (2020) · 126 quotes
Oh, whoopee, a diner. I'll have a napkin and some hand sanitizer.
More lines from Simon Cowell
8 quotes Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell
Every successful group requires hard work and determination. Identifying potential is what I do, and you have got it. Fred, you're the tank. The muscle.
Simon Cowell
Daphne is the people person. The empath.
Simon Cowell
And Velma's got the smarts and technical savvy.
Simon Cowell
But you two aren't even listening. You're eating a clownishly oversized sandwich.
Simon Cowell
Look, a group can only be as strong as its weakest links. Bottom line, I can't invest with these two involved.
Simon Cowell
Literally, anything. You can't count on friendship. People change. And when you get into real trouble, friendship won't save the day.
Simon Cowell
[his last words]
Thank you. I also played Rum Tum Tugger in my secondary school's production of "Cats".
Scenes with Simon Cowell
2 scenes
Fred Jones
All right, everybody. I would like to pose to you all the question of questions. What's next for Mystery Inc.?
Shaggy Rogers
Ooh, I totally have the answer. Lunch.
Daphne Blake
No, Shaggy, I think what Fred means is that...
Scooby-Doo
I was also gonna say lunch.
Fred
Guys, guys, guys. The Mystery Machine needs a whole new... Needs a whole new everything, and I'm never gonna get that smell out.
Scooby
I told you I needed a walk.
Velma Dinkley
It's time to turn Mystery Inc. into a real business.
Shaggy
What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?
Daphne
Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?
Scooby
I handle our accounting.
Velma
Look, we're ready to take on bigger cases, scarier villains, and creepier mysteries, but that takes money. Fortunately, we found a possible investor.
Simon Cowell
[comes in the diner and sits down with them]
Oh, whoopee, a diner. I'll have a napkin and some hand sanitizer.
Shaggy
Whoa, man! It's Simon Cowell. [pulls out his phone and plays Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper]
Shaggy and Scooby
[singing]
In the shallow In the shallow
Shaggy
[continues singing]
I'm off the deep end watch as I dive in...
Simon Cowell
Uh, congratulations, gentlemen. You are terrible.
Fred
How does he do that? See, he's mean, but he makes it fun.
Velma
We appreciate your interest in Mystery Inc., Mr. Cowell.
Simon Cowell
Every successful group requires hard work and determination. Identifying potential is what I do, and you have got it. Fred, you're the tank. The muscle.
Fred
Cool.
Simon Cowell
Daphne is the people person. The empath.
Daphne
Aw.
Simon Cowell
And Velma's got the smarts and technical savvy.
Velma
Thanks.
Simon Cowell
But you two aren't even listening. You're eating a clownishly oversized sandwich.
Shaggy
Like, sorry, man. You lost us at, "Hard work and determination."
Scooby
But you got us back at "sandwich."
Simon Cowell
Look, a group can only be as strong as its weakest links. Bottom line, I can't invest with these two involved.
Daphne
But, Mr. Cowell, Shaggy and Scooby are our best friends.
Shaggy
Yeah, and like, what's more valuable than friendship?
Simon Cowell
Literally, anything. You can't count on friendship. People change. And when you get into real trouble, friendship won't save the day.
Shaggy
Like, we don't need this, Scoob. Let's bounce.
Scooby
Yeah, we know when we're not wanted. [he and Shaggy leave the diner]
Daphne
No. Ugh. Wait.
Fred
Come on, guys.
Velma
He didn't mean it.
Scooby
[comes back for the fries]
No fries for you. Hmm! [leaves]
Shaggy
[when Scooby, Shaggy, Mystery Inc. and Falcon Force defeat Cerberus by using the Rottens as bowling balls to make it slip and fall back into the realm of the Underworld]
Man, looks like we just spared the world!
Scooby
[chuckles]
Bowling puns!
Shaggy
[he and Scooby fistbump]
This is so us!
Shaggy
[Everyone shuts the gate to the Underworld, trapping Cerberus]
OK, so how do we lock that puppy up? [Velma, Daphne and Fred look at each other, then at Scooby and Shaggy, worriedly] What?
Velma
One of you has to hold the gates shut here…
Daphne
…while one of you locks them from… inside the Underworld.
Shaggy
[distraught]
What? No! There has to be another way. Right, Velma?
Velma
Alexander the Great built these gates to be locked only by him… and his dog, Peritas. As the last descendant of Peritas, Scooby has to do it.
Daphne
But the prophecy says he needs his best friend to help him.
Fred
That's you, Shaggy.
Scooby
[Shaggy and Scooby look at each other, before the latter looks towards the gate with the rotating lock with a handprint and pawprint on two different sides. Scooby then looks on in determination and courage]
There's no other way. I'm the key. I'll go.
Shaggy
No.
Shaggy
[Scooby then makes his way to the gate, with everyone looking at him gloomily; he then stops by the lock, as he prepares to place his paw on it, but all of a sudden, Shaggy slaps the two-sided lock, flipping it to the handprint side]
It says one of us had to be on the inside, but it doesn't say which one.
Scooby
[worried]
No!
Shaggy
[Scooby flips the lock back to the pawprint side, making Shaggy gasp; both Shaggy and Scooby then flip the lock to either the handprint or pawprint sides of the lock, before Shaggy stood in front of it when it was turned to the handprint side, which Scooby accidentally slaps him multiple times to prevent him from touching the lock] [grabbing Scooby's paw and calming him down]
Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now it's my turn. [then places his hand on the lock's handprint side, activating the gate in which Shaggy then disappears]
Scooby
[horrified]
No! Don't! Raggy, wait! No!
Scooby
[Scooby gasps, after the gate to the Underworld then locks, before Shaggy appears on the lock from the other side of the gate, then saddened]
Raggy.
Shaggy
Scoob, you're the best friend I could ever ask for. [sighs] And you always will be.
[As the gate completely locks, Scooby whimpers as he watches the lock's reflection of Shaggy dissipate, turning into a glowing green lock of the pawprint; Scooby then saddenly places his paw on the pawprint, which makes the entire gate as well as the entire ancient temple to vanish back into the temple's present state; Scooby then whimpers and then starts sobbing, howling and mourning the loss of his friend. The gang comes over to him and gives him a comforting hug as themselves and the Falcon Force grieved about Shaggy as well.]
Scooby
[sobs]
Raggy... [Daphne, Velma and Scooby sobbing]
Velma
Are we missing something? "A pair whose friendship forever grows." [wipes her eyes] Does it mean something else?
Daphne
[looks Scooby in the eyes]
I think it means that Scoob and Shaggy's friendship will live on... whether they're together or not. [hugs Scooby]
Velma
But...why would Alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever?
Fred
He must have built a way out.
Daphne
[looking behind Velma]
Uh, guys?
Velma
[A statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas magically appear in front of the gang]
It's Alexander the Great. Look at this inscription. It's a message from him. "Our bond will never break or bend..."
Dynomutt
"...so, my friend, it's time to return home."
Velma
Maybe Scooby should give it a try.
Scooby
[Scooby walks up to the statue and sadly looks at it]
Raggy, you promised you'd never leave. Come home.
Scooby
[A door magically unlocks and opens to reveal Shaggy, who is unharmed]
Raggy?
Shaggy
[Cerberus's paw kicks him out and closes the door as the statue disappears]
Zoinks! I guess friendship really did save the day.
Scooby
[relieved]
Raggy! [laughs in joy]
Shaggy
Scooby-Doo!
Daphne
[Scooby runs up to Shaggy and hugs him as do the gang]
I love you guys!
Daphne
[Dee Dee laughs]
You gave us quite a scare, Shaggy.
Shaggy
[Shaggy takes Scooby's collar out of his pocket and puts it back on Scooby's neck as Scooby himself smiles]
Well, it takes more than a 3-headed monster to keep me away from my best bud.
Velma
Tank, empath, brain. I finally figured out what you guys are. You're the heart of Mystery, Inc.
Dynomutt
[Scooby licks Shaggy as the Falcon Force look happily at them and Dynomutt licks Brian, which he exclaims in pain]
Sorry. Metal tongue. Shoulda thought that through.
Dastardly
[angrily]
Put me down, you traitorous tin cans!
Muttley
[Two flying Rottens, who had captured Dastardly and Muttley, lower them in front of the gang on knees] [grumbles]
Rasm-Frasm. Stupid robots!
Brian
Time to pay for your crimes, Dick Dastardly. [towards him]
Shaggy
Or is it? [pulls off a mask revealing…]
All
[In unison, shocked]
Simon Cowell?! [Muttley growls angrily at him]
Daphne
Wow, that is a solid impersonation. [Fred looks at her]
Simon Cowell
[last words]
Thank you. I also played Rum Tum Tugger in my secondary school's production of Cats. [Muttley sniffs]
Velma
This makes no sense. [Scooby, Shaggy, Dusty, Daphne, Fred, Brian, Dee Dee and Dynomutt looks at her she walks towards him beside Muttley] How could he have time to judge the world's greatest talent shows and build a giant airship? [she pulls off another mask to reveal he is really… the real Dick Dastardly!]
All
[In unison, shocked]
Dick Dastardly?! [Velma nod and walked back]
Dastardly
[failing his Simon Cowell's disguise]
Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. [Muttley snickers as Dastardly frowns at him]
Brian
[to Dastardly]
You are coming with us.
Dastardly
[The Falcon Force carry Dastardly and Muttley away to custody] [his last words, enraged]
I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for you "MISMATCHED" MEDDLING MISCREANTS!
Fred
[to Scooby and Shaggy]
Congratulations, you two. You just saved the world.
Daphne
How do you feel?
Scooby and Shaggy
Hungry.
[The gang laugh]
Other characters in Scoob!
Scooby-Doo
Frank Welker
Fred Jones
Zac Efron
Dick Dastardly
Jason Isaacs
Norville "Shaggy" Rogers
Brian Crown / Blue Falcon
Mark Wahlberg
Daphne Blake
Amanda Seyfried
Velma Dinkley
Gina Rodriguez
Dee Dee Skyes
Kiersey Clemons
Dynomutt
Ken Jeong
Captain Caveman
Tracy Morgan
Muttley
Officer Jaffe
Christina Hendricks
