Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!
Most-quoted character in Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978): in 15 of its 20 quotes
Most scenes with: Simone Le Gree (5), Cato (5), Chief Insp. Dreyfus (2)
Special delivery: a beumb. Were you expecting one? A BEUMB!?
More lines from Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
2 quotes Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau Ohhhh...Sixteen chests on a dead man's rum/Yo-ho-ho in the bottle of the chest/Drink to the devils and done for the rums/Hoooooooooooooooo!
Scenes with Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
12 scenes Clouseau Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!
What good will that do?
Clouseau Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!
Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
Clouseau Elementary. He wanted you dead.
That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
...
It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
Clouseau That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.
Clouseau?
Clouseau Yes?
Are you wounded?
Clouseau No. Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
So what we need is more light.
Clouseau But these aren't normal times. Cato. Someone just tried to kill me.
That's normal.
Clouseau Ah, but this time, he thinks he had succeeded.
Clouseau Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
Killers.
Sgt. François Chevalier Why don't you get out of those wet clothes? You could catch pneumonia.
Clouseau Yes, I know that. I know that. I will do as soon as I get home, provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first.
Sgt. François Chevalier Why don't you just tell him not to?
Clouseau Believe me, it's not that easy. I have given him instructions to attack me wherever and whenever possible, and it has now become a matter of pride with him to try to outsmart me. I guarantee that at this very minute, his fiendish little yellow brain is plotting some new ambush.
Clouseau You keep talking about this Douvier.
Mm-hmm.
Clouseau But Philippe, who is... who is-who is Philippe?
Philippe Douvier.
Clouseau His son?
Whose son?
Clouseau Douvier.
He has no son.
Clouseau His brother, then?
His brother's name is Fred.
Clouseau Then it has to be his father.
His father's dead.
Clouseau Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. Then who killed him?
No one. He died of natural causes.
Clouseau Then who is this Philippe?
Clouseau [Dreyfus shoots at Clouseau]
It's me!
I know!
[Dreyfus laughs and starts shooting again]
Clouseau residence.
Clouseau…
One moment. [turns to Clouseau]. It's for you.
[Clouseau falls through the floor into the flat below] .
Clouseau [to his neighbors]
Excuse me; I am wanted on the pheone [sic].
It's still for you, Inspector.
Clouseau Chief Inspector. Allo?
I'm sorry! I thought you were dead, boss!
Clouseau And so, in my memory, you set up this… this Chinese n––ie factory?!
Clouseau Now I see why this building seems so familiar: Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here! Wake up, Chief Inspector! No good. We must go to Hong Kong without him.
What do you mean, We? I can't go to Hong Kong; Douvier would shoot me on sight!
Clouseau Not if he doesn't recognize you.
Other characters in Revenge of the Pink Panther
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau