Clouseau residence.
Clouseau…
One moment. [turns to Clouseau]. It's for you.
[Clouseau falls through the floor into the flat below] .
It's still for you, Inspector.
Chief Inspector. Allo?
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
Peter Sellers · 15 quotes
Simone Le Gree
Dyan Cannon · 6 quotes
Cato
Burt Kwouk · 5 quotes
Chief Insp. Dreyfus
Herbert Lom · 5 quotes
Philippe Douvier
Robert Webber · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau & Simone Le Gree (5), Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau & Cato (5), Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau & Chief Insp. Dreyfus (2)
Revenge of the Pink Panther quotes
Page 1 of 2I'm sorry! I thought you were dead, boss!
And so, in my memory, you set up this… this Chinese n––ie factory?!
Now I see why this building seems so familiar: Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here! Wake up, Chief Inspector! No good. We must go to Hong Kong without him.
What do you mean, We? I can't go to Hong Kong; Douvier would shoot me on sight!
Not if he doesn't recognize you.
Hello, Phillippe.
Simone! What're you doing here?
O, nothing; just waiting for the fireworks to go off.
What fireworks?
The ones I just stuck into your pants!
Police Commissioner [Chief Inspector Dreyfus meets with the Commissioner of Police, believing Clouseau has been murdered]
The Chief thinks that you should give the eulogy.
Chief Inspector Dreyfus
The what?
Police Commissioner The tribute!
Chief Inspector Dreyfus
Me?
Police Commissioner You knew him intimately.
I hated him intimately!
Police Commissioner But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers!
I'm the expert who would dearly love to–– to kiss his murderers, don't you understand?!
Police Commissioner Now, the PR people loved the angle.
Sacrilege! I won't do it.
Police Commissioner Politics!
No. I'm a good Catholic.
Police Commissioner So's the Chief's wife.
I don't care! [Hesitates] What's she got to do with it?
Police Commissioner She wrote the speech.
[Cut to Dreyfus in front of mourners in a church. Dreyfus struggles to keep from laughing, which happens to make him look deeply grieved]
Ladies and gentlemen… honored guests… dear friends… we are gathered here to say… good-bye… to a… a great man. [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. Not only was he a model police officer… a brilliant detective… [coughs] admired and respected… by his fellow officers… and all those who were fortunate enough;–– enough;–– enough to know him… [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]… he was, above all else… a modest man! [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. His kind, will not pass this way again… and our loss… is surely… Heaven's gain! [breaks down in tears of laughter].
Clouseau?
Yes?
Are you wounded?
No. Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
So what we need is more light.
Doctor, please, you must help me. Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
Dr. Paul Laprone What do you think?
What do I think? What can I think? If that nincompoop is really alive and the things I heard are true, he'll probably be decorated again for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France, and I'll be a-a laughingstock.
Dr. Paul Laprone That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do?
What choice do I have? I either commit myself and come back to be locked up in here...Or... I go to Hong Kong.
I know!
[Dreyfus laughs and starts shooting again]
But these aren't normal times. Cato. Someone just tried to kill me.
That's normal.
Ah, but this time, he thinks he had succeeded.
Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!
What good will that do?
Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!
Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
Killers.
You keep talking about this Douvier.
Mm-hmm.
But Philippe, who is... who is-who is Philippe?
Philippe Douvier.
His son?
Whose son?
Douvier.
He has no son.
His brother, then?
His brother's name is Fred.
Then it has to be his father.
His father's dead.
Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. Then who killed him?
No one. He died of natural causes.
Then who is this Philippe?
Sgt. François Chevalier Why don't you get out of those wet clothes? You could catch pneumonia.
Yes, I know that. I know that. I will do as soon as I get home, provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first.
Sgt. François Chevalier Why don't you just tell him not to?
Believe me, it's not that easy. I have given him instructions to attack me wherever and whenever possible, and it has now become a matter of pride with him to try to outsmart me. I guarantee that at this very minute, his fiendish little yellow brain is plotting some new ambush.
Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
Elementary. He wanted you dead.
That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
...
It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.