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Revenge of the Pink Panther

Revenge of the Pink Panther quotes

14 total quotes

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
Philippe Douvier


View Quote Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Clouseau?
Clouseau: Yes?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Are you wounded?
Clouseau: No. Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: So what we need is more light.
View Quote Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Doctor, please, you must help me. Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
Dr. Paul Laprone: What do you think?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What do I think? What can I think? If that nincompoop is really alive and the things I heard are true, he'll probably be decorated again for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France, and I'll be a-a laughingstock.
Dr. Paul Laprone: That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What choice do I have? I either commit myself and come back to be locked up in here...Or... I go to Hong Kong.
View Quote Clouseau: [Dreyfus shoots at Clouseau] It's me!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I know!
[Dreyfus laughs and starts shooting again]
View Quote Clouseau: But these aren't normal times. Cato. Someone just tried to kill me.
Cato: That's normal.
Clouseau: Ah, but this time, he thinks he had succeeded.
View Quote Clouseau: Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!
Cato: What good will that do?
Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!
View Quote Clouseau: Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
Simone Legree: Killers.
View Quote Clouseau: You keep talking about this Douvier.
Simone Legree: Mm-hmm.
Clouseau: But Philippe, who is... who is-who is Philippe?
Simone Legree: Philippe Douvier.
Clouseau: His son?
Simone Legree: Whose son?
Clouseau: Douvier.
Simone Legree: He has no son.
Clouseau: His brother, then?
Simone Legree: His brother's name is Fred.
Clouseau: Then it has to be his father.
Simone Legree: His father's dead.
Clouseau: Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. Then who killed him?
Simone Legree: No one. He died of natural causes.
Clouseau: Then who is this Philippe?
View Quote Sgt. Fran├žois Chevalier: Why don't you get out of those wet clothes? You could catch pneumonia.
Clouseau: Yes, I know that. I know that. I will do as soon as I get home, provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first.
Sgt. Fran├žois Chevalier: Why don't you just tell him not to?
Clouseau: Believe me, it's not that easy. I have given him instructions to attack me wherever and whenever possible, and it has now become a matter of pride with him to try to outsmart me. I guarantee that at this very minute, his fiendish little yellow brain is plotting some new ambush.
View Quote Simone Le Gree: Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
Clouseau: Elementary. He wanted you dead.
View Quote Simone Le Gree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
...
Cato: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.
View Quote [Dreyfus is being asked to deliver Clouseau's eulogy]
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Me?
Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!
Police Commissioner: But you're the expert who's going to track down his murders!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I'm the expert who would love to- to kiss his murders, don't you understand?!
Police Commissioner: Now, the PR people loved the angle.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Sacrilege! I won't do it.
Police Commissioner: Politics!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: No. I'm a good Catholic.
Police Commissioner: So's the Chief's wife.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I don't care! [Hesitates] What's she got to do with it?
Police Commissioner: She wrote the speech.
View Quote I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!
View Quote Special delivery: a beumb. Were you expecting one? A BEUMB!?
View Quote The Great Inspector Clouseau will not be bothering us anymore.