No, no, no, no, no, no-o-o-o-o!!
L Lawyer
The DNA matches, the timing works, everything checks out. He is Gusteau's son.
This can't just happen! The whole thing is a set up! The boy knows! [sees Linguini innocently cooking in kitchen] Look at him out there, pretending to be an idiot! He's toying with my mind like a cat with a ball of-of something!
Yes! Playing dumb, taunting me with that rat!
Yes! He's consorting with it, deliberately trying to make me think it's important!
L Lawyer
[awkwardly]
Is the rat important?
Of course not! He just wants me to think that it is! Oh, I see the theatricality of it! A rat appears on the boy's first night, I order him to kill it, and now he wants me to see it everywhere! [snapping fingers] Oooooh! "Oooh, it's here! No, it isn't, it's here!" Am I seeing things, am I crazy?! Is there a Phantom Rat, or is there not?! Oh no! I refuse to be sucked into his little game, of--
L Lawyer
[disturbed]
Should I be concerned about this? About you?
W Waiter
And tonight, before the dessert course, we present for your pleasure, the traditional cheese trolley. To start, we have an excellent Clochette: creamy, very nice, very light. Next, a Brebis: hearty, with a surprising bite, I think you'll find. And finally, the pièce de résistance, a very special, very rare...
M Man
[Remy notices with a startled gasp, as the customers scream in shock, then he runs away by the trolley and rushes into the chef's room]
It's a rat!
[Remy runs away by the falling kitchen objects, then jumping on the table, and he screams as the scene freezes]
This is me. I think it's apparent that I need to rethink my life a little bit. I can't help myself. I... I like good food, okay? And good food is... is hard for a rat to find.
[voiceover]
It wouldn't be so hard to find if you weren't so picky!
I don't want to eat garbage, Dad! I... [notices Emile, who is eating a piece of garbage] What is that?
You don't know, and you're eating it.
[mouth full]
You know, if you can sort of muscle your way past the gag reflex, all kinds of food possibilities open up.
This is what I'm talking about. [the title card appears] I don't think any of this would've come up, but we happen to live in Paris, France. And it's so easy to find good food in Paris, it's just...
[cut back to the freeze frame of Remy jumping off the table]
...dangerous.
[The scene resumes, Remy screams and dashes towards the door with utensils sliding down, hitting the door, then the text puts up "Dinner will be served... Summer 2007"] [off-screen]
Gotta rethink your life.
[off-screen]
He's right, you know!
[off-screen]
LET IT GO, DAD!
[After Skinner falls into the water, letting Remy get away with the will, he walks back to Gusteau's, soaked. He enters the office to see Linguini.] [gasps]
You! [angrily points to doorway] Get out of my office.
He's not in your office. You are in his. [Reveals the will and letter. Horst shoves Skinner out the door]
[Colette walks into the kitchen and sees the rats cooking, and looks like she's going to vomit]
Colette, wait! Colette. You came back. Colette...
Don't say a word. If I think about it, I might change my mind. Just tell me what the rat wants to cook.
[Django shows R?my dead rats in exterminator shop]
Take a good, long look, R?my. This what happens when a rat gets a little too comfortable around humans. The world we live in belongs to the enemy. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, R?my. When all is said and done, we're all we've got. [starts to walk away]
RM R?my
No. Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is, can only be, more of this?
This is the way things are. You can't change nature.
RM R?my
Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide. [he walks away]
RM R?my
With luck, forward.
[Meanwhile in the kitchen] [to Linguini]
It's your recipe! How can you not know your own RECIPE?!
I didn't write it down, it just came to me!
Well, make it come to you again, ja? BECAUSE WE CAN'T SERVE THIS!!
Can't we serve them something else?! Something I didn't invent?
L Larousse
This is what they're ordering!
Make them order something else! Tell him we're all out!
P Pompidou
We cannot be all out. We just opened.
L Larousse
I have another idea. What if we serve them what they order?!
We will make it! Just tell us what you did!
We need to tell the customers something!
Then tell them... tell them... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [flees the kitchen and runs back into the office]
[Remy is about to re-enter the kitchen] [trying to stop his son]
Remy!
We are not talking about me! We are talking about what to do right now!
[Remy enters, and everyone sees him] [gasps]
RAAAAAT!!! Kill it!
[Linguini sees and gasps in his office] [jumps in front of the chefs]
DON'T TOUCH HIM!!! [whispers to Remy] Thank you for coming back, Little Chef. [to the chefs] I know this sounds insane, but... well, folks, the truth sounds insane sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's not. Uh, the truth. And the truth is, I have no talent at all, but this rat, he's the one behind these recipes, he's the cook! The real cook. He's been hiding under my toque. He's been controlling my actions. He's the reason I can cook the food that's exciting everyone. The reason Ego is outside that door. I know it's hard to believe, but, hey, you believed I could cook, right? Look. [showing the chefs how Remy pulls a couple of his hair locks to control his arms] This works. It's crazy, but it works. We can be the greatest restaurant in Paris and this rat, this brilliant Little Chef, can lead us there. What do you say? You with me?
[Horst steps up, but takes off his apron, and leaves in disappointment. Both Emile and Django hide as the rest of the chefs leave. Colette is the last to leave. She raises her hand, about to slap Linguini, but she doesn't and instead sighs in disappointment. She climbs on her motorcycle and rides off. Both Linguini and Remy are sad. Linguini looks through the window, and sees Anton Ego, who gives him a glare. Linguini sadly walks back into his office, leaving Remy behind. Meanwhile, Colette rides in the streets in sadness. She stops and notices the cookbook in the window entitled "Anyone can cook".]
RM R?my
[R?my and Émile have just been struck by lightning]
Whoa you've gotta taste this! It's-it's got this kind of, burny, melty, it's not really a smoky taste, it's-it's a certain, oh, it's kindof like a "Whoosh! Kaboom! Zap!" kind of taste, don't you think? What would you call that flavor?
[hesitantly]
Lightning-y?
RM R?my
Yeah! It's lightning-y!
[Remy and Gusteau are talking about Linguini]
What do I always say, Remy? Anyone can cook.
RM R?my
Well yeah, anyone can. That doesn't mean that anyone should.
Well, that is not stopping him. See?
RM R?my
[Linguini has accidentally spilled a pot of soup and is attempting to cover up his mistake by throwing random ingredients into it]
What?! What is he doing?! No...no! No, this is terrible; he's ruining the soup, and nobody's noticing?! It's your restaurant! Do something!
What can I do? I am a figment of your imagination.
RM R?my
But he's ruining the soup!! We gotta tell someon-- [slips and falls]
[Skinner has asked his lawyer to help him with Gusteau's will]
Lawyer: Ahem, well, the will stipulates that if after a period of two years from the date of death no heir appears, Gusteau's business interests will pass to his sous-chef, you.
I know what the will stipulates! What I want to know is if this letter, [looks at Linguini out window] if this boy changes anything!
Lawyer: [compares Linguini's image to Gusteau's] There's not much resemblance...
There's no resemblance, at all! He's not Gusteau's son; Gusteau had no children! And what of the timing of all this?! The deadline in the will expires in less than a month! Suddenly some boy arrives with a letter from his recently-deceased mother claiming Gusteau is his father?! Highly suspect!
Lawyer: [observes Gusteau's old toque] But the boy does not know?
She claims she never told him, or Gusteau, and asks that I not tell!
Lawyer: Why you? What does she want?
[disinterested]
A job for the boy.
Lawyer: [takes out Gusteau's hair from toque] Only a job?
Well...yes.
Lawyer: [folds hair in tissue] Then what are you worried about? If he works here, you'll be able to keep an eye on him while I do a little digging, find out how much of this is real. I'll need you to collect some DNA samples from the boy, hair, maybe.
Mark my words, the whole thing is highly suspect! [nervously] He knows something...
Lawyer: Relax; he's a garbage boy. I think you can handle him. [leaves Skinner feeling uneasy]
[Skinner has made Linguini drunk]
Have you ever had a pet rat?
Did you work in a lab with rats?
Perhaps you lived in squalor at some point?!
You know something about rats! You know you do!
You know who know do whack-a-do...ratta-tatta! Hey, why do they call it that?
Ratatouille! It's like a stew, right? Why do they call it that? If you're gonna name a food, you should give it a name that sounds delicious! "Ratatouille" doesn't sound delicious. It sounds like "rat" and "patootie". Rat-patootie...which does not sound delicious. [holds up his glass, gesturing for more wine]
[angrily]
Regrettably...[Drops wine bottle into trash can] we are all out of wine.
