Anton Ego quotes from Ratatouille (2007)

Anton Ego

Amusing title: "Anyone Can Cook". What's even more amusing is that Gusteau actually seems to believe it. I, on the other hand, take cooking seriously, and no, I don't think anyone can do it.

Anton Ego

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talents, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new; an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking, is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook". But I realize - only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

Anton Ego

I don't like food, I love it. If I don't love it, I don't swallow. [Linguini gulps nervously] I will return tomorrow night with high expectations. Pray you don't disappoint me.

Anton Ego

Surprise me....!

Linguini

Do you know what you would like this evening sir?

Ego

Yes. I'd like your heart, roasted on a spit.

Mustafa

Do you know what you would like this evening, sir?

Ego

Yes, I think I do. After hearing a lot of over-heated puffery about your new cook, do you know what I'm craving? A little... perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well-seasoned perspective. Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?

Mustafa

With what, sir?

Ego

Perspective, fresh out, I take it?

Ego

Very well. Since you are all out of perspective and no one else seems to have it in this bloody town, I'll make you a deal: you provide the food, I'll provide the perspective, which would go nicely with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947.

Mustafa

I'm afraid...um...your dinner selection?

Ego

Tell your chef, Linguini, that I want whatever what he dares to serve me! Tell him to hit me with his best shot!

Ego

What is it, Ambrister?

Ambrister

Uh, Gusteau's--

Ego

Finally closing, is it?

Ambrister

No--

Ego

More financial trouble?

Ambrister

No, it's-it's--

Ego

Announced a new line of microwave egg rolls? What, what?! Spit it out!

Ambrister

It's-it's come back. It's popular.

Ego

I haven't reviewed Gusteau's in years.

Ambrister

No sir.

Ego

My last review condemned it to the tourist trade!

Ambrister

Yes sir.

Ego

I said, "Gusteau has finally found his rightful place in history right alongside another equally famous Chef, Monsieur Boyardee."

Ambrister

Touch?.

Ego

That is where I left it.'That was my last word. The last word.

Ambrister

Yes.

Ego

Then tell me, Ambrister. How could it be Pop-u-lar?

Linguini

You're Anton Ego.

Ego

You're slow for someone in the fast lane.

Linguini

And you're thin for someone who likes food!

Ego

I don't like food, I love it. If I don't love it, I don't swallow.

Linguini

Can I interest you in a dessert this evening?

Ego

Don't you always?

Linguini

Which one would you like?

Ego

Surprise me!