Gill quotes from Parenthood (1989)

Gill

Keep Patty away from Larry. He'll suck the intelligence right out of her.

Gill

They call me Cowboy Gil, as in guil-ty. I saw Cowboy Dan. I didn't like the look on his face. It was like this...[smiles goofily] ... so I killed him. I blew a hole in him this big. Actually it was about this big. You know, when I think about it, that hole was about THIS BIG! And his guts were spilled out all over the floor. As I was walkin' away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin' on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals. That's mighty courteous of you. Here we go! [starts twisting balloons and then when he finishes, he holds up jumbled bunch of twisted balloons] Your lower intestines.

Frank

Gil, you have a good memory. Uh, was it yours or Helen's or Susan's wedding I got drunk at?

It was all three, Dad. Congratulations.

Frank

Well, which one did I punch the band leader?

That was mine. We have photos. I'm having them blown up for the commitment hearings.

Frank

Well, you think he's funny. Well, when he was a kid, he wasn't as funny. Stayed in his room all day. Boy, you were a moody little son of a bitch.

Gee, I wonder why.

Gil's nightmarish vision. University is on lockdown and covered by squad cars. People are screaming and an elderly Gil tries to reason with Kevin

Someone's gone to the roof of the bell tower with a rifle!

Dean at College

It's Kevin Buckman! His father totally screwed him up!

What is he yelling?

Kevin, Age 21

YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!

Son, I'm sorry. I did all the best I could.

Nice shot son!
Police try to get Gil to safety, but Gil rebuffs them

It's important to be supportive. [to Kevin] Come on let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea - "

Kevin, Age 21

All of this I have one thing to credit; when I was a kid and my father made me play second base. Thank you, Dad!

Thank you, son!

Grandma

You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.

Oh?

Grandma

Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!

What a great story.

Grandma

I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

So what is the name of the birthday boy? I will paint his name on my breasts.

Karen

What in the world?

We did not order any stripper! We hired Cowboy Dan.

Is that so, let me call my boss.
Stripper uses phone to call boss, then hangs up

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. My boss screwed up our assignments. I was supposed to do that birthday party at the Army base, but my boss sent Cowboy Dan there.

Karen

Then have him come here.

There's a problem, you see, the soldiers got the wrong idea and beat up Cowboy Dan really good. He is in the hospital.

Kevin

Cowboy Dan is not here? All the kids will hate me!

Kevin, pull yourself together! A cowboy is coming.

What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good?

Taylor

Yeah.

You feel like you want to throw up?

Taylor

Okay.

Karen

Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you :standing there?

Waiting for her head to spin around.