Parenthood 1989 quotes

Frank

Gil, you have a good memory. Uh, was it yours or Helen's or Susan's wedding I got drunk at?

It was all three, Dad. Congratulations.

Frank

Well, which one did I punch the band leader?

That was mine. We have photos. I'm having them blown up for the commitment hearings.

Frank

Well, you think he's funny. Well, when he was a kid, he wasn't as funny. Stayed in his room all day. Boy, you were a moody little son of a bitch.

Gee, I wonder why.

What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good?

Taylor

Yeah.

You feel like you want to throw up?

Taylor

Okay.

Karen

Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you :standing there?

Waiting for her head to spin around.

Grandma

You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.

Oh?

Grandma

Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!

What a great story.

Grandma

I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

Julie

He said that he loved me.

Helen

Men say that. They all say that. Then they ****.

Susan

Nathan, I need to speak with you for a couple of minutes.

Nathan

Patty, your mother and I will be gone for two minutes. How many seconds is that?

Patty

120.
Den

Nathan

What is it?

This is the only way

To reach you, so

I am leaving you

Taylor

Mommy what was that?

Karen

That was an electrical ear cleaner.

Taylor

It was kinda big.

Grandma

It sure was.

Gil's nightmarish vision. University is on lockdown and covered by squad cars. People are screaming and an elderly Gil tries to reason with Kevin

Someone's gone to the roof of the bell tower with a rifle!

Dean at College

It's Kevin Buckman! His father totally screwed him up!

What is he yelling?

Kevin, Age 21

YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!

Son, I'm sorry. I did all the best I could.

Nice shot son!
Police try to get Gil to safety, but Gil rebuffs them

It's important to be supportive. [to Kevin] Come on let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea - "

Susan

Helen? Oh, the door was unlocked...[sees the sex action on the television]

Grandma

What channel is this?

Helen

No Gran, this is a tape.

Grandma

She needs a man now!

Helen

Gran, this isn't mine. I don't watch this!

Grandma

One of those men reminded me of your Grandpa. God bless him!

Kevin, Age 21

All of this I have one thing to credit; when I was a kid and my father made me play second base. Thank you, Dad!

Thank you, son!

So what is the name of the birthday boy? I will paint his name on my breasts.

Karen

What in the world?

We did not order any stripper! We hired Cowboy Dan.

Is that so, let me call my boss.
Stripper uses phone to call boss, then hangs up

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. My boss screwed up our assignments. I was supposed to do that birthday party at the Army base, but my boss sent Cowboy Dan there.

Karen

Then have him come here.

There's a problem, you see, the soldiers got the wrong idea and beat up Cowboy Dan really good. He is in the hospital.

Kevin

Cowboy Dan is not here? All the kids will hate me!

Kevin, pull yourself together! A cowboy is coming.

Helen

l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking.

Frank

It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.

Gill

Keep Patty away from Larry. He'll suck the intelligence right out of her.

Cool Buckman: Larry's son

Frank Buckman