Mystery Men quotes
131 total quotesThe Bowler
The Shoveler
The Sphinx
The Spleen
The Blue Raja
View Quote
"It is so easy to get the better of people when they care about each other — which is why evil will always have the edge.
View Quote
"No, no. I don't live here. I'm just here for the ladies." (at a nursing home)
View Quote
"I don't make anything that's deadly."
View Quote
"Totally nonlethal, but totally effective."
View Quote
"That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe."
View Quote
"I can trick that out with a clam-shell holster. It comes with a leather carrying case. It's got a wadcutter and a full warranty."
View Quote
"It's a psycho-frakulator! It creates a-a cloud of radically fluctuating deviant chaotrons, which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concantenated with a-a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary! It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is, is that hallucinations become reality... and the brain is literally fried from within."
View Quote
"Wait — you have a Herkimer battle jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!"
View Quote
"Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase."
View Quote
"You keep dreaming... wanna-be!" ~ Officer Maguire
View Quote
"You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime. That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste. Because I want my teeth to look — Amazing!" ~ Captain Amazing in TV commercial
View Quote
"Baby, you shovel better than any man I've ever known... but that does not make you a superhero. You're a good husband, and a good father. Nothing more." ~ Lucille (Mrs. Shoveler)
View Quote
"I believe in you, Daddy." ~ Roland (Shoveler's son)
View Quote
"I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft!" ~ Tony P (to the Bowler)
View Quote
"P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?" ~ P.M.S. Avenger