Sulley
So... you guys are scaring majors?
Don Carlton
[chuckling]
We were, but none of us lasted very long. I guess we just weren't what old Hardscrabble was looking for. Don Carlton, mature student. 30 years in a textile industry, and then ol' dandy Don got downsized. Figured I could throw myself a pity party or go back to school and learn the computers.
Terry
Hello! I'm Terry with a 'Y'.
Terri
And I'm Terri with an 'I'. I'm a dance major!
Terry
And I'm not.
Terri
5, 6, 7, 8... [starts to dance while his brother rolls his eyes] 7, 8, turn! And tu... Why didn't you turn?
Terry
Because we never agreed to do this.
Terri
You said this was gonna be cool.
Terry
No one said this was gonna be cool.
Terri
Now I'm embarrassed.
Terry
Now you're embarrassed?
Terri
Yes, because it's in front of people!
Terry
You should wake up embarrassed.
Art
[rolls down the stairs]
Hey, hey! I'm Art! New Age Philosophy Major. Excited to live with you, and laugh with you... [changes his mood] And cry with you. I thought you'd like to keep a dream journal!
Squishy
Guess that leaves me. [Sulley suddenly screams once seeing him] My name's Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy. I'm undeclared, unattached and... unwelcomed pretty much everywhere but here.
M Mike
Well now that we've all been introduced. As captain of our team...
Sulley
[cuts him off again]
So basically you guys have no scaring experience?
Squishy
[laughing]
Not a lot, but now we've got you!
Don
You're about the scariest fellow I've ever seen. Even with them pink polka dots.
Sulley
Aww, thanks.
M Mike
Well, actually, I think I bring the whole package.
Squishy
[grabs one of Sulley's hands]
Your hands are as big as my face!
Terri
[referring to Sulley]
He's like a mountain... with fur!
Sulley
Oh, come on. I don't even work out.
Art
Yeah, me neither. I don't wanna get too big. [sniffs]
M Mike
[Mike and Sulley make their way through the dark house.]
Guys? Anybody home?
M Mike
[Suddenly, a door creaks open and they step down into the basement.]
Hello? Fellas?
Don
[Mike and Sulley walk down into the candlelit basement, where the Oozma Kappa fraternity surrounds them, wearing black cloaks.]
Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?
M Mike
[Terri and Terry hit him with a paddle]
Ow!
Terry
Do you swear to keep secret...
Terri
All that you learn here?
Art
No matter how horrifying?
Sulley
[Squishy hits Sulley with paddle]
Hey!
Squishy
[holding up the book]
Will you take the scared oath of the...
Don
[Suddenly, an extremely bright light turns on, flooding the basement.]
For crying out loud!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Sweetie, turn the lights on while you're down here. You're going to ruin your eyes.
Squishy
Mom, we're doing an initiation!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Ooh, scary. [turns the lights back off] Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here.
Squishy
This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers... [Mrs. Squibbles starts the washing machine; the washing machine starts kicking on louder] No matter what the peril... Will you defend Oozma Kappa? No matter how dangerous? No matter how insurmountable the odds may be? From evils both great and small?! In the face of unending pain and... Oh, forget it! You're in! [removes the hood]
Don
Look. We know we're no one's first choice for a fraternity. So, it means a lot to have you here with us.
Squishy
Can't wait to start scaring with you, brothers?
Squishy
[Squishy hands Mike and Sulley their fraternity caps and they reluctantly put them on. Terri and Terry spank Sulley with a paddle, which he angrily snatches and breaks in half]
Time for a celebration! Grab the couch cushions, gentlemen, 'cause we're building a fort! Mom, can we stay up late tonight?
Don
Expelled?!
M Mike
Yeah, we really messed up.
Squishy
So you're leaving?
Sulley
Yeah, buddy. We have to go.
Art
Harsh, man.
M Mike
I'm sorry, guys. You'd be in the Scaring program right now if it wasn't for us. [The rest of them smile shyly at each other]
Sulley
What?
Don
Well, it is the gosh darnedest thing.
Terry
Hardscrabble's letting us into the Scare program!
Terry
She was impressed with our performance in the Games.
Terri
She invited us to join next semester!
Sulley
[chuckling]
Congratulations, guys!
Don
And that's not the only piece of good news - Sherri and I are engaged!
Sulley
Oh... who's Sherri?
Squishy
[sighing]
She's my mom.
S Sherri
[squeals]
Well, if it isn't my two favorite fellas! [Don takes her in his arms and the two start kissing]
Squishy
[sighing]
So uncomfortable...
Don
Aww, come on, Scott. I don't want you thinking of me as your new dad - after all, we're fraternity brothers first!
Squishy
[sighing]
This is awkward...
Don
Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Hold on - we're brothers who share the same mom/wife. That's worse...
