Slow down, Squirt. This party is scare students only.
Oh, I'm sorry, killer, but you might wanna hang out with someone little more of your speed. They look fun! [Cut on Oozma Kappa members holding a stand]
Don Oh, hey there! Wanna join Oozma Kappa?
We have cake! [a huge monster passes by and swallows the cake whole. Not a second later, a balloon deflates and falls on Squishy's head]
Go crazy. [leaves with ROR and Sulley]
[stunned]
Is that a joke?
[sighs, annoyed]
Sulley, talk to your friend.
[to Johnny]
Well, he’s not really my friend, but sure. [to Mike] You heard him, this is a party for scare students.
I mean, for scare students who actually, you know, have a chance.
Ah, snap! [the ROR brothers start laughing]
[narrows his eye]
My chances are just as good as yours.
You’re not even in the same league with me.
Just wait, hotshot. I’m gonna scare circles around you this year.
So... you guys are scaring majors?
Don Carlton [chuckling]
We were, but none of us lasted very long. I guess we just weren't what old Hardscrabble was looking for. Don Carlton, mature student. 30 years in a textile industry, and then ol' dandy Don got downsized. Figured I could throw myself a pity party or go back to school and learn the computers.
Hello! I'm Terry with a 'Y'.
And I'm Terri with an 'I'. I'm a dance major!
5, 6, 7, 8... [starts to dance while his brother rolls his eyes] 7, 8, turn! And tu... Why didn't you turn?
Because we never agreed to do this.
You said this was gonna be cool.
No one said this was gonna be cool.
Yes, because it's in front of people!
You should wake up embarrassed.
[rolls down the stairs]
Hey, hey! I'm Art! New Age Philosophy Major. Excited to live with you, and laugh with you... [changes his mood] And cry with you. I thought you'd like to keep a dream journal!
Guess that leaves me. [Sulley suddenly screams once seeing him] My name's Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy. I'm undeclared, unattached and... unwelcomed pretty much everywhere but here.
Well now that we've all been introduced. As captain of our team...
[cuts him off again]
So basically you guys have no scaring experience?
[laughing]
Not a lot, but now we've got you!
Don You're about the scariest fellow I've ever seen. Even with them pink polka dots.
Well, actually, I think I bring the whole package.
[grabs one of Sulley's hands]
Your hands are as big as my face!
[referring to Sulley]
He's like a mountain... with fur!
Oh, come on. I don't even work out.
Yeah, me neither. I don't wanna get too big. [sniffs]
Don And here's what you've been waiting for, fellas. You very own Oozma Kappa bedroom.
Ah, great! We're sharing this room?
Don We'll let you guys get settled. Anything you need, you just give a big holler-rooney.
Okay, thanks, buddy. [quickly shuts the door in Don's face and glares at Mike] Are you kidding me?
Look, they don't need to be good. I'm gonna carry the whole team.
Really? And who's gonna carry you?
Hey, you wanna go back to can design? You know where the door is.
[the lights suddenly go out] [flips the switch several times]
Great.
[as ROR is selling t-shirts with pictures of Oozma Kappa being humiliated in the party]
Hey, what do you think you're doing?!
Raising a little money for charity.
You want us to stop raising money for charity? That's not cool.
[shouting to the public]
This guy hates charity!
I want you to stop making us look like fools!
Hey, you're making yourself look like fools. Let's be honest, boys. You're never gonna be real scarers, 'cause real scarers look like us. But hey, if you really want to work for a scaring company, they're always... hiring in the mail room. [points to a Monsters Inc. mail room ad in a newspaper]
[His friends were leaving]
Guys! Hold on! Hey, hey, hey, wait a second. Don't listen to him! We just, need to keep trying!
[mad]
No! You need to stop trying! You can train monsters like this all you want, but you can't change who they are. [walks off in anger]
Don Mike... We appreciate everything you done, but he's right. No matter how much we train, we'll never look like them. We're built for other things.
[walks off]
Sorry, squirts! Some monsters just aren't cut out for the big leagues.
[Mike and Sulley make their way through the dark house.]
Guys? Anybody home?
[Suddenly, a door creaks open and they step down into the basement.]
Hello? Fellas?
Don [Mike and Sulley walk down into the candlelit basement, where the Oozma Kappa fraternity surrounds them, wearing black cloaks.]
Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?
[Terri and Terry hit him with a paddle]
Ow!
Do you swear to keep secret...
No matter how horrifying?
[Squishy hits Sulley with paddle]
Hey!
[holding up the book]
Will you take the scared oath of the...
Don [Suddenly, an extremely bright light turns on, flooding the basement.]
For crying out loud!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Sweetie, turn the lights on while you're down here. You're going to ruin your eyes.
Mom, we're doing an initiation!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Ooh, scary. [turns the lights back off] Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here.
This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers... [Mrs. Squibbles starts the washing machine; the washing machine starts kicking on louder] No matter what the peril... Will you defend Oozma Kappa? No matter how dangerous? No matter how insurmountable the odds may be? From evils both great and small?! In the face of unending pain and... Oh, forget it! You're in! [removes the hood]
Don Look. We know we're no one's first choice for a fraternity. So, it means a lot to have you here with us.
Can't wait to start scaring with you, brothers?
[Squishy hands Mike and Sulley their fraternity caps and they reluctantly put them on. Terri and Terry spank Sulley with a paddle, which he angrily snatches and breaks in half]
Time for a celebration! Grab the couch cushions, gentlemen, 'cause we're building a fort! Mom, can we stay up late tonight?
[Mike and Sulley reach for the door, but it's too late to get out of the human world]
No!
Don [The Dean powers down the door, when Mike and Sulley reaches for the closet door]
They're still in there!
Until the authorities arrive, this door stays off. [points at the door]
[as the guards keep him away]
NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! NO!
[enraged; unfurls her wings]
ENOUGH!! I WANT THIS ROOM CLEARED, NOW!!!
[The monsters slowly back away out of the room, frightened from the Dean's outburst. The Oozma Kappa gang keeps begging Hardscrabble to open the door as the room is locked down. Meanwhile, on the other side, Mike keeps trying the door, when the Camp Rangers arrive]
We gotta get out of here!
If we scare them, I mean really scare them, we could generate enough scream to power the door from this side!
What are you taking about?!
I have read every book about scaring ever written. This could work!
They're adults. I can't do this.
Yes, you can! Just follow my lead!
Don Expelled?!
Yeah, we really messed up.
Yeah, buddy. We have to go.
I'm sorry, guys. You'd be in the Scaring program right now if it wasn't for us. [The rest of them smile shyly at each other]
Don Well, it is the gosh darnedest thing.
Hardscrabble's letting us into the Scare program!
She was impressed with our performance in the Games.
She invited us to join next semester!
[chuckling]
Congratulations, guys!
Don And that's not the only piece of good news - Sherri and I are engaged!
S Sherri
[squeals]
Well, if it isn't my two favorite fellas! [Don takes her in his arms and the two start kissing]
[sighing]
So uncomfortable...
Don Aww, come on, Scott. I don't want you thinking of me as your new dad - after all, we're fraternity brothers first!
[sighing]
This is awkward...
Don Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Hold on - we're brothers who share the same mom/wife. That's worse...
