Chet
Slow down, Squirt. This party is scare students only.
Johnny
Oh, I'm sorry, killer, but you might wanna hang out with someone little more of your speed. They look fun! [Cut on Oozma Kappa members holding a stand]
Don
Oh, hey there! Wanna join Oozma Kappa?
Squishy
We have cake! [a huge monster passes by and swallows the cake whole. Not a second later, a balloon deflates and falls on Squishy's head]
Johnny
Go crazy. [leaves with ROR and Sulley]
M Mike
[stunned]
Is that a joke?
Johnny
[sighs, annoyed]
Sulley, talk to your friend.
Sulley
[to Johnny]
Well, he’s not really my friend, but sure. [to Mike] You heard him, this is a party for scare students.
M Mike
I am a scare student.
Sulley
I mean, for scare students who actually, you know, have a chance.
Chet
Ah, snap! [the ROR brothers start laughing]
M Mike
[narrows his eye]
My chances are just as good as yours.
Sulley
You’re not even in the same league with me.
M Mike
Just wait, hotshot. I’m gonna scare circles around you this year.
Sulley
So... you guys are scaring majors?
Don Carlton
[chuckling]
We were, but none of us lasted very long. I guess we just weren't what old Hardscrabble was looking for. Don Carlton, mature student. 30 years in a textile industry, and then ol' dandy Don got downsized. Figured I could throw myself a pity party or go back to school and learn the computers.
Terry
Hello! I'm Terry with a 'Y'.
Terri
And I'm Terri with an 'I'. I'm a dance major!
Terry
And I'm not.
Terri
5, 6, 7, 8... [starts to dance while his brother rolls his eyes] 7, 8, turn! And tu... Why didn't you turn?
Terry
Because we never agreed to do this.
Terri
You said this was gonna be cool.
Terry
No one said this was gonna be cool.
Terri
Now I'm embarrassed.
Terry
Now you're embarrassed?
Terri
Yes, because it's in front of people!
Terry
You should wake up embarrassed.
Art
[rolls down the stairs]
Hey, hey! I'm Art! New Age Philosophy Major. Excited to live with you, and laugh with you... [changes his mood] And cry with you. I thought you'd like to keep a dream journal!
Squishy
Guess that leaves me. [Sulley suddenly screams once seeing him] My name's Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy. I'm undeclared, unattached and... unwelcomed pretty much everywhere but here.
M Mike
Well now that we've all been introduced. As captain of our team...
Sulley
[cuts him off again]
So basically you guys have no scaring experience?
Squishy
[laughing]
Not a lot, but now we've got you!
Don
You're about the scariest fellow I've ever seen. Even with them pink polka dots.
Sulley
Aww, thanks.
M Mike
Well, actually, I think I bring the whole package.
Squishy
[grabs one of Sulley's hands]
Your hands are as big as my face!
Terri
[referring to Sulley]
He's like a mountain... with fur!
Sulley
Oh, come on. I don't even work out.
Art
Yeah, me neither. I don't wanna get too big. [sniffs]
B Brock
Let’s begin the first competition! The Toxicity Challenge!
C Claire
Human children are toxic! [pointing to some human toys] ...And everything they touch is toxic.
B Brock
[as Claire uses a metal claw, reaching into a crate and pulling out a urchin]
We don't have any human toys, but thanks to MU biology department, we found a close second - the Stinging Glow Urchin! Trust me when I say you are not gonna want to touch this bad boy.
Art
I wanna touch it.
C Claire
And you certainly don’t want to touch any of its friends. [the members look behind them and see several Stinging Glow Urchins scattered on the ground]
Art
Yeah, I wanna touch ‘em.
B Brock
This here is the starting line. The light at the end of the tunnel is the finish line.
C Claire
And whoever comes in last is eliminated from the games.
Squishy
Mike?
M Mike
[startled]
Ah! What is it?
Squishy
Does that mean if we lose we’re out?
M Mike
Don’t worry, Smoothie... (Isn't it?)
Squishy
[corrects him]
Squishy.
M Mike
(Right.)
Squishy, we’re not gonna lose, because we have everything we need to win right... here. [points to his chest]
Squishy
[smiling]
Heart.
M Mike
No, me! I’m gonna win the race for us.
Sulley
[pushes him out of the way]
Alright, alright, that’s very cute but move, move, move. I’m gonna win this.
M Mike
It’s an obstacle course, what are you gonna do? Roar at it?
Sulley
I can get through faster than you, little guy.
M Mike
[Mike and Sulley make their way through the dark house.]
Guys? Anybody home?
M Mike
[Suddenly, a door creaks open and they step down into the basement.]
Hello? Fellas?
Don
[Mike and Sulley walk down into the candlelit basement, where the Oozma Kappa fraternity surrounds them, wearing black cloaks.]
Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?
M Mike
[Terri and Terry hit him with a paddle]
Ow!
Terry
Do you swear to keep secret...
Terri
All that you learn here?
Art
No matter how horrifying?
Sulley
[Squishy hits Sulley with paddle]
Hey!
Squishy
[holding up the book]
Will you take the scared oath of the...
Don
[Suddenly, an extremely bright light turns on, flooding the basement.]
For crying out loud!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Sweetie, turn the lights on while you're down here. You're going to ruin your eyes.
Squishy
Mom, we're doing an initiation!
S Mrs. Squibbles
Ooh, scary. [turns the lights back off] Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here.
Squishy
This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers... [Mrs. Squibbles starts the washing machine; the washing machine starts kicking on louder] No matter what the peril... Will you defend Oozma Kappa? No matter how dangerous? No matter how insurmountable the odds may be? From evils both great and small?! In the face of unending pain and... Oh, forget it! You're in! [removes the hood]
Don
Look. We know we're no one's first choice for a fraternity. So, it means a lot to have you here with us.
Squishy
Can't wait to start scaring with you, brothers?
Squishy
[Squishy hands Mike and Sulley their fraternity caps and they reluctantly put them on. Terri and Terry spank Sulley with a paddle, which he angrily snatches and breaks in half]
Time for a celebration! Grab the couch cushions, gentlemen, 'cause we're building a fort! Mom, can we stay up late tonight?
M Mike
[Mike and Sulley reach for the door, but it's too late to get out of the human world]
No!
Don
[The Dean powers down the door, when Mike and Sulley reaches for the closet door]
They're still in there!
Dean Hardscrabble
Until the authorities arrive, this door stays off. [points at the door]
Squishy
[as the guards keep him away]
NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! NO!
Dean Hardscrabble
[enraged; unfurls her wings]
ENOUGH!! I WANT THIS ROOM CLEARED, NOW!!!
Sulley
[The monsters slowly back away out of the room, frightened from the Dean's outburst. The Oozma Kappa gang keeps begging Hardscrabble to open the door as the room is locked down. Meanwhile, on the other side, Mike keeps trying the door, when the Camp Rangers arrive]
We gotta get out of here!
Sulley
What?
M Mike
If we scare them, I mean really scare them, we could generate enough scream to power the door from this side!
Sulley
What are you taking about?!
M Mike
I have read every book about scaring ever written. This could work!
Sulley
They're adults. I can't do this.
M Mike
Yes, you can! Just follow my lead!
Don
Expelled?!
M Mike
Yeah, we really messed up.
Squishy
So you're leaving?
Sulley
Yeah, buddy. We have to go.
Art
Harsh, man.
M Mike
I'm sorry, guys. You'd be in the Scaring program right now if it wasn't for us. [The rest of them smile shyly at each other]
Sulley
What?
Don
Well, it is the gosh darnedest thing.
Terry
Hardscrabble's letting us into the Scare program!
Terry
She was impressed with our performance in the Games.
Terri
She invited us to join next semester!
Sulley
[chuckling]
Congratulations, guys!
Don
And that's not the only piece of good news - Sherri and I are engaged!
Sulley
Oh... who's Sherri?
Squishy
[sighing]
She's my mom.
S Sherri
[squeals]
Well, if it isn't my two favorite fellas! [Don takes her in his arms and the two start kissing]
Squishy
[sighing]
So uncomfortable...
Don
Aww, come on, Scott. I don't want you thinking of me as your new dad - after all, we're fraternity brothers first!
Squishy
[sighing]
This is awkward...
Don
Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Hold on - we're brothers who share the same mom/wife. That's worse...
