Trevor quotes from Meet the Feebles (1989)

Robert

I'm Robert.

Trevor

You may be Robert to your friends but you're fly shit to me! Piss off!

Trevor

Didn't you notice you were sitting on his face!

Well, it was a bit uncomfortable but I thought it was my hemorrhoids.

Bletch

Have you thought of a name for it, yet?

Trevor

I was thinking along the lines of... "Dennis does Daisy".

Bletch

No. That's lousy.

Trevor

How about... "Anal Antics"?

Bletch

"Anal Antics"... yes. It will appeal to the intellectuals. Do you think it will do as well as our last release and win the Hooker Prize?

Bletch

Do you really think people are interested in nasal sex?

Trevor

Sure, boss. It's the next big fad.

Trevor

All right, you fat slag! Move your ass!

Heidi

How dare you speak to me like that! You horrible, spiteful little rat!

Trevor

I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer!

Heidi

That's it, I've had enough! I am going straight to Bletch!

Sebastian

♪ Don't worry if you feel ashamed ♪
♪ It's been around for years ♪
♪ And thousands more that can't be named ♪
♪ Are interested in rears ♪
♪ Don't worry about hell ♪
♪ No harm will come to your soul ♪
♪ We're not a Pentecostal ♪
♪ And everybody's got an asshole ♪
♪ SODOMY!!! ♪

Bletch

Trevor...?

Trevor

Yeah, boss?

Bletch

I want that fudge packer eliminated!

Trevor

I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer.

Trevor

What are you doing here, pincushion?

Robert

I was just watching the chowus.

Trevor

Hey, you're that new boy here, aren't you?

Robert

Yes, I am. I just stawted today. I'm Wobewt.

Trevor

You may be Wobewt to your friends, but you're fly shit to me! Piss off!

Robert

Yes siw.

Trevor

Goddamn prickleback! That Lucille's got a cute tushie. I wouldn't mind giving her a poke with the old pork sword.

Trevor, please, I need it, man. I need it.

Trevor

I told you before, it's coming.

Yeah, but... I got the shakes something bad. If I don't get a fix, I won't be able to perform.

Trevor

Listen, it'll be here, alright? Stop bothering me.

I can pay for it.

Trevor

Thanks froggy. this'll just about cover what you owe me.

But that's all I've got!

Trevor

Well, you'd better find another fifty bucks before six.

But that's all I've got!

Oh, no! No, no. No, help, somebody! No, no!

Take that, you bitch!

I beg you, please, no, stop it!

Call me "Sir", slut!

Ow!

Robert

Weave hew awone! You wottew! Awe you aww wight, madam?

Trevor

Cut!

Jesus Christ!

Trevor

You have a nasty habit of sticking your nose in where it's not wanted.

Robert

I'm sowwy.

Trevor

You ruined my take, kid. I never do two takes!

Robert

I didn't know it was a fiwm.

Hurry it up, I'm freezing!

Robert

I'm sowwy for intewwupting. I won't distuwb you any wongew.

Trevor

We'll skip the whipping. Let's move on to the blowjob. Where's the Masked Masochist? Oh, Christ, that's all I need! He's carked! Didn't you realize you were sitting on his face?

I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I thought it was my hemorrhoids.

Trevor

What the hell? Maybe I can sell it as a snuff movie.

Well, you'll have to find a substitute. I don't do self abuse.

Trevor

No worries, Daisy. I know just the guy.

Bletch

Do you really think people are interested in nasal sex?

Trevor

Sure, boss. It's the latest fad.

Bletch

You got a title?

Trevor

I thought... "Dennis does Daisy".

Bletch

Nah. That's lousy.

Trevor

Well, how about... "Anal Antics"?

Bletch

"Anal Antics"... Not bad. It has a certain ring to it. It will appeal to the intellectuals. Do you think it will do as well as our last release and win us the Hooker Prize? You know, I'm worried about Madame Bovine. We've lost money on her last two pictures.

Trevor

You want her replaced, boss?

Bletch

I think the public are tired of big udders. Find someone young and petite.

Trevor

Sure thing, boss.

Here! You stuck it in the wrong way round!

Trevor

I'm sorry. I didn't know worms had nerves.

Robert

Evew since the nightmawe of Vietnam, he's been a hopewess dwug addict. It made me weawize just how wucky I am.

How lucky we both are! I'm so glad we decided to get engaged.

Robert

Good wuck fow tonight, Wucy.

Are you nervous?

Robert

Just a bit.

Me too.

Robert

Actuawwy, I'm tewwibwy newvous. This is my fiwst show.

You'll be wonderful. I know you will.

Trevor

I hope I'm not interrupting.

I was just dressing for the show.

Trevor

So I see.

What do you want?

Trevor

Oh, a moment of your time. We've got something to celebrate.

What's that?

Trevor

Your new career. Lucille, I'm gonna put you in the movies.

Movies!

Trevor

I've been watching you for some time. You've got that indefinable something. Star quality!

That's my real ambition, to be in films!

Trevor

I've got a meaty part for you.

Will I have to audition?

Trevor

That's what I'm here for.

I feel woozy.

Trevor

Here, let me loosen your clothes. What beautiful white fur you've got, my dear.

Robert

Wuciwwe, you weft this in my woom...

Trevor

Take a hike! Can't you see that we're busy?

Robert

Wuciwwe!

Trevor

Oh, Jesus!

Robert?

Robert

You've been dwinking!

Trevor

It's OK. I've finished with her anyway. Oh, go for your life, kid. She's a real good ride.

Robert

How couwd you do this?

Robert!

Robert

Wuciwwe, how couwd you?

No! Robert! Wait!

Kill me if you want to, Harry. It's too late. It won't make any difference. The story's already gone to press.

You overgrown maggot! You're bluffing!

Am I, Harry?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Famous Feeble has death row sex disease!

Congratulations, you're front-page news.

Extra, extra! Read all about it! Extra! Extra, extra! Sex disease strikes Feeble fraternity. Thank you, ma'am. Extra, extra! Sex disease... Thank you, sir.

Bletch

Jesus Christ! Do you know anything about this, Trevor?

Trevor

Not a thing, boss.

Bletch

Why couldn't that goddamn bed-hopping bunny keep his member to himself? Who wrote this crap?

Trevor

I got a good idea, boss.

Bletch

Find him!

Bletch

He wouldn't dare! Oh, Christ, he's not!

Trevor

Oh, yes, he is, boss.

Sebastian

♪ Sodomy! ♪
♪ You must think it very odd of me ♪
♪ But I enjoy the act of sodomy ♪
♪ You might call the wrath of God on me ♪
♪ But if you tried it then you might agree ♪
♪ That you enjoy the act of sodomy ♪
♪ Don't worry if you feel ashamed ♪
♪ It's been around for years ♪

♪ I-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi ♪

Sebastian

♪ Thousands more than can be named ♪
♪ Are interested in rears ♪
♪ Don't worry about hell ♪

♪ Oooooooh ♪

Sebastian

♪ No harm will come to your soul ♪

♪ Oooooooh ♪

Sebastian

♪ We're not all Pentacostal ♪
♪ But everybody's got an arsehole ♪
♪ Let me tell ya' 'bout sodomy ♪

♪ Sodomy ♪

Sebastian

♪ You must think it very odd of me ♪

♪ Odd of Me ♪

Sebastian

♪ But I enjoy the act of sodomy ♪

♪ Sodomy ♪

Sebastian

♪ You might call the wrath of God on me ♪
♪ But if you tried it then you might agree ♪
♪ That you enjoy the act of sodomy ♪
♪ It might just improve your sex ♪
♪ It's a hard act to follow ♪

♪ Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum ♪

Sebastian

♪ The fact that fundamentalists ♪
♪ Find difficult to swallow ♪
♪ So join me as I sing ♪

♪ Bum Bum ♪

Sebastian

♪ Of an activity that's fun ♪

♪ Bum Bum ♪

Sebastian

♪ Open up your ring ♪
♪ And try it front to bum ♪
♪ Bum-bum ♪
♪ Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
♪ Sodomy! ♪
♪ You must think it very odd of me ♪
♪ But I enjoy the act of sodomy ♪
♪ You might call the wrath of God on me ♪
♪ But if you tried it then you might agree ♪
♪ That you enjoy the act of sodomy ♪
♪ Sodomy ♪
♪ SODOMY!!! ♪

Bletch

Trevor...?

Trevor

Yeah, boss?

Bletch

I want that fudge packer eliminated!