Darryl quotes from Little Man (2006)

Hey, man! Get your own!

Darryl

What?

Beer! It's empty!

Darryl

So get another one!

I'm gonna--
[The Chiefs fan is about to attack Darryl, but is held back by his friend, while other fans attack Darryl.]

Darryl

You suck! You suck!

SHUT IT, YOU LOSERS! Wanna come at me?! Come on down here and come play with the big boys!

Darryl

You're a bully! You're a bully, man!

Yeah, I thought so, you princess! Come on, you!

Darryl

Pick on somebody your own size!

Come on down here, then!

Who did that?

Calvin

Uh-oh. [points at Darryl]

You. [brandishes his hockey stick] YOU'RE DEAD!!!

Darryl

I...

Darryl

Aah, he's gonna kill me!

Pops

Oh, no, you don't! No, you don't! No, no, no!

Dad!

Darryl

C'mon, Pop, let him sit there. Let him have a cookie.

Pops

This is my throne, my sanctuary. This is my air, my end zone.

Darryl

It's just a cookie.

Pops

Oh, it start with the cookie. And then they want to come to dinner. Then they want to move in. Next thing you know, they're married to your daughter.

Darryl

See, why he got to bring it back here when he...

Pops

He already made that mistake once.

Darryl

Hey, hey. Come on, now.

Pops

Mmm-mmm.

Honey.

Pops

No more, my brother. Nobody makes a fool out of me. I'm from Detroit.

Ooh, someone is at the door.

Darryl

I can't wait for everyone to meet little Calvin. I am so excited.

Pops

Yeah, yeah. Introduce him to everybody else, and then go over to someone else's house. Cookie's got a little bite to it.

Pops

Hold it right there. Who you talking to, sonny boy? Oh, don't give me that old "goo-goo, ga-ga" crap. Hand me that damn phone! Who is this?

Me sorry. Me no speak no English. Wrong number, sorry.

Pops

What the...? Who the hell's no speak the English? Who is this? Say something.

Darryl

Pop, what are you doing?

Pops

I heard some noises, came downstairs and caught this little hoodlum on the phone. He must've been looking for the safe.

Darryl

We don't have a safe.

Pops

Well, he didn't know that.

Calvin

Da-da.

Darryl

Pop, man. He's a baby. It's his first night in a new house. He probably couldn't get no sleep. Look at you, man, holding a shotgun and wearing red socks. You look like Fred Sanford on crack. Put that away, man. Go to bed.

Pops

Oh, man, you are good. You are real good. Yeah, I'm gonna keep my eye on you. [Calvin gives him the middle finger] Ooh, you gonna give me the finger? Where'd you learn that, huh? BET videos after dark?

Pops

You don't mess with a man from Detroit? You hear me? I'm from Detroit!

Darryl

What the hell's going on here?

Daddy, get off of him. Get off of the baby.

Darryl

Stop it.

Pops

That ain't no baby, that's a criminal.

I've had it with you. I'm calling Whispering Glen.

Pops

Vanessa, I ain't crazy. You see, I know what is and I know what ain't is. And he ain't is what he say he is. You see, is is and ain't's ain't. Check the teddy bear. The teddy bear. Teddy bear knows. Come on, then. Please.

We'll take good care of your father. Whispering Glen is a safe facility. Give him a couple days to adjust...

Pops

Let me go!

...and then come visit.

Pops

Vanessa, believe me. Is is, ain't's ain't.

Use the taser if you have to.

Pops

Check the teddy bear. The teddy bear. [screams as he gets tased]

Walken

Say, is this the guy who double-crossed Percy?

Yeah, that's the guy, boss.

Darryl

Listen, I don't know anyone named Percy. You must have gotten the wrong guy.

Walken

Cut the crap. I want my diamond.

Darryl

I don't have it.

Walken

Well, that's too bad. I guess we're just gonna have to beat it out of you.

Darryl

I just called the cops, and they're on their way over here.

Walken

Really? That doesn't leave us much time then. [to thugs] Take him.

Darryl

Wait, wait, wait, guys.

Calvin

Dada. Dada.

Walken

Who's this little guy?

Darryl

That's my son.

Walken

Take him upstairs. I wanna talk to you.

Cute kid.

Darryl

It's just that... I don't have... Ow! Ow! Hey, that's my nipple!

Walken

Now tell me, where's my diamond?

Darryl

I already told you, I don't have it.

Walken

You don't tell me where my diamond is, that cute little baby of yours is gonna get hurt. [Bruno falls down the stairs, screaming] Moron, get the kid! Get the kid. I want him.

Ah, there you are! Come on, buddy. Come to Uncle Roscoe. Uh-uh. Okay, now, play nicey-nicey. [Calvin whacks Roscoe with a golf club, and Roscoe falls down the stairs and breaks his shades]

Walken

What the hell's going on here? That ain't no baby. Who else is here?

Darryl

Nobody.

Walken

Who's here?!

Darryl

Nobody, I swear.

Walken

Come on, inside, inside. There's the little monster. What does he got there?

Darryl

It's an airplane.

Walken

Tell him to get rid of the plane. Get rid of it!

Darryl

Calvin, throw the plane. [Calvin throws the plane and both Darryl and Calvin stay still]

Walken

What are you doing? [Calvin and Darryl point the airplane at him and the plane hits his groin and he falls to the ground on his knees]

Darryl

Don't move!

Walken

Save it, tough guy. You're not gonna shoot me.

Calvin

But I will.

Freeze, police!

Freeze, police!

I got this. You, check the house. Black cops, come with me. White lady, you stay here.

Walken

I'm telling you, guys, that ain't no baby. He's a mastermind behind the whole thing.

Get him outta here.

Walken

He's a stone-cold killer, that kid.

Would you get this thing off me?!

Relax. Where you're going, you might wanna keep that on.

I don't wanna go to jail. It's too dark. There's no TV.