[Raymond knocks on Margie's front door and she answers]
Hello, my name is Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold.
It seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos and my son was one of his victims!
I don’t understand! How do you know it was my son?! How did you get this address?!
I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways.
No I’m a fireman. I work for a living. [Grabs Harold's right arm and holds it up] Look at this! You believe this?! See that there?! See that line?! I don’t know if you burn these off or what but we’re taking care of this and you’re paying for it, you understand me?!
Scott! [To Raymond] I’m so sorry. There’s an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work and it can completely remove it! I get a discount! I’m gonna pay for the whole thing! I don’t know what I’m saying! I feel terrible!
You should feel terrible! Look at that!
[Pokes his head of his room, sees Ray and tries to run away]
What’s up? Oh ****!
There he is! Get your ass over here!
Hey, he said he was eighteen!
He looks like he’s four you **** moron!
Of course he’s lying! You can’t have consent! He’s nine years old!
Dad, let’s go! You’re embarrassing me!
We’re not going anywhere! He’s just a little kid! What the **** is wrong with you?!
He was roaming around in the woods, he wanted a tattoo! Where were you?!
If I was you I would shut your **** mouth because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail!
For sticking needles in a kid’s arm, you **** dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him?!
There’s no reason to call the cops! I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him!
Well clearly you can’t or you wouldn’t have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will.
That’s right. That’s my man.
Go wait in the car, Harold. And don’t raise your voice at me either.
Don’t say goodbye to my kid.
[Harold crosses the street to the car]
Look both ways! Look both ways!
[To Scott]
Go to your room!
For your information I am not middle-aged. I am a twenty-four year old man and I am going to my room because I **** want to! [Scott leaves]
What kind of animal are you raising in this house? I’m bringing you the bill, I don’t care what it costs. I mean what the **** is going on around here?
Just give me a day to arrange the laser!
You know something?! Is his father home?! Where’s his dad?! I don’t want to **** yell at you!
Well I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure if he was still around he would agree with the fact that you should still pay for it.
SS Spongebob Squarepants
[Scott is lying on couch watching TV and smoking]
Hello. Okay, let's see my to-do list.
Claire's friend: Yo, we're finished packing the car. You want to come out and say goodbye or...?
Oh, well, yeah, this is almost over.
Claire's friend: No, like, we're leaving.
Oh. She's leaving? [Gets up]
Claire's friend: Like, to go to college, you know?
Oh, oh, my bad.
Claire's friend: Yeah, four years, so...
[Following Claire's friend]
Oh, all right.
Claire's friend: Let's go. [Scott turns head to glance at TV] Nope, like... [Scott gets pulled out door by wrist] Go. Come on.
...
Uh, don't worry about me, okay? This is really hard right now. [Hugs Claire]
[Voice cracking]
You don't seem fine.
I'm so proud of you. I love you. Uh, okay. You're the light of my life.
Oh. Okay. [To Scott] Thanks for helping us pack the car.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize you guys were done already.
Be nice to Mom. And please respond to my texts.
I will. Don't worry about it. And, um... I-I'll come visit you at some point.
Okay. All right. [Hugs Scott] Yeah. [Walks to vehicle] I love you.
[Scott walks into tattoo parlor with the owner tattooing a muscular white supremacist]
Did- did you happen to get a chance to take a look at the, uh...
Tattoo parlor owner Yeah, I looked at your book. I mean, I drew like that, too, when I was 14. From what I saw, you don't really have the basics, so you got to figure that out.
Well, yeah, that's why I'm here. I mean, I was hoping I can learn from you.
TP Tattoo parlor owner
Right, well, um, you'd be my apprentice. Uh, you'll be a slave to the shop.
Hey, man. As long as I get to tattoo people, right?
TP Tattoo parlor owner
No. Never. Until I say. Uh, you'll be sterilizing needles, washing my car, taking the trash out. I mean, you're basically our bitch.
So, how much will I be, like, making here?
TP Tattoo parlor owner
Dick.
TP Tattoo parlor owner
Okay, well... It's a long line of people who want this job, man.
How do I, like, pay my rent?
TP Tattoo parlor owner
That one right there is not my problem. It's your first day, you're already complaining.
TP Tattoo parlor owner
Yeah, let's not do this. You should take a walk. Pussy.
TP Tattoo parlor owner
Well, could I ask you a question? If I did work here?
C Client
Why is he still here?
Let's say some idiot walks in, right? And he wants to get a tattoo of a Confederate flag wrapped around the Grim Reaper. You could tell that guy to go **** himself, right? 'Cause that's a ridiculous tattoo to ask for.
TP Tattoo parlor owner
It's not my place to judge people, man. I don't do that.
Well, what if another guy walked in and he wanted to get a tattoo of his dead friend James on his chest, right? But you know James, and you don't want to give him the tattoo, 'cause you know James and he's an asshole and that the world's better off without him. What do you do then?
C Client
You have a death wish?
No, I don't have a death wish. But that lady on the motorcycle does. She's not even wearing any underwear. She's gonna burn her pussy.
C Client
[Gets up and starts menacing Scott]
Do you want to do this?! You really want to **** do this?!
I don't want to do anything with you. I just want to know who killed James. Was it the Confederate flag man? Was it the motorcycle lady? [Client lunges at Scott who runs away]
