Harold quotes from The King of Staten Island (2020)

View Quote [At the beach with Oscar and Richie drinking and Scott finishes up tattooing Igor]
Igor: That looks really good.
Scott: I wish you’d let me do something cooler but yeah. We see the tattoo, a smiley face captioned “Unfollow Me.”
Igor: **** no. That hurt so bad.
Oscar: Another dumb tattoo.
Scott: I like the pain. The pain’s the whole point of getting tattoos. Don’t you just love when you get a tattoo and it hits the bone and pinches a nerve and you’re like “Ah!”
Igor: I’m not a fan of the pain.
Richie: You shouldn’t let him do it to you. He’s inconsistent.
Oscar: That tattoo’s dumb.
Igor: Y’all should’ve told me when you saw the design.
Oscar: It says “Unfollow Me.” You don’t even have that many followers.
Igor: Carla follows me.
Richie: Bro, she’s imaginary!
Scott: Carla not real, dude.
Richie: How many times do we have to say this? Oscar punches a bug.
Oscar: I hate bugs, dog. I’m a gangster!
Scott: That’s a bee, bro!
[Oscar spots Raymond's son; Harold, a nine-year-old boy nearby]
Oscar: There’s a kid down there. Yo, kid!
Scott: Oh shit, there is a kid.
Oscar: What’re you doing? You hanging out on the beach? Come here. Don’t be shy. No stranger danger here. I’m not gonna touch you.
[Harold walks over]
Scott: What’s up, pal?
Oscar: What’re you doing?
Harold: Looking for my friend.
Scott: [Mocks] "Looking for my friend."
Oscar: You wanna be friends with us? We’re the good guys.
Scott: You can hang out with us.
Oscar: [Extends fist] Lemme get some of that. Put it here. You gang. Part of the gang. [Oscar and Harold bump fists and Harold spots Scott’s tattoo gun]
Harold: What’s that?
Scott: It’s a tattoo gun. I was giving the homies tattoos.
Harold: I want a tattoo.
Scott: Sure young guy. You want a tattoo?
Harold: Yeah.
Oscar: Kid wants a tattoo. That’s my guy right there.
Igor: You can’t give him a tattoo. He’s a little kid.
Scott: I gotta practice on something. He seems old enough.
Oscar: You a tough guy?
Harold: Yeah.
Oscar: You’re a badass. [Flexing arms] Come on, show those muscles kid. Come on, both arms. Put ‘em up. [Harold flexes arms]
Oscar: There we go. What’s your name?
Harold: Harold.
Oscar: I’m gonna call you Harry.
Harold: Don’t. It’s Harold.
Richie: Hell yeah.
Oscar: I like this kid. I need him in my life. He has structure.
Igor: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Scott: We don’t listen to anything you say.
Oscar: Why do you even try to give us advice?
Scott: What do you want a tattoo of?
Harold: The Punisher.
Scott: The Punisher?
Oscar: That’s tough, man. He could’ve said anything. He said The Punisher. [Scott shows his phone to Harold]
Scott: I can do that. Is that it?
Harold: Yeah that’s him.
Scott: Are you sure?
Harold: Yes.
Scott: Do I have your legal permission to do this?
Harold: Yes.
Scott: That’s good enough for me. How about you guys?
Oscar: Holds up in court.
Scott: You guys heard it.
Igor: He can’t give consent! He’s ten.
Scott: Now hold still, okay? Because it is permanent.
Igor: Guys, stop.
Oscar: Put your game face on.
Scott: Don’t worry, dude. This’ll just be on you for the rest of your life.
[Scott leans in and inks a brief line and Harold screams]
Harold: I DON’T WANNA DO IT! I DON’T WANNA!
Scott: I gotta finish it. Now there’s just a line. You’re gonna look stupid. [Harold runs away]
Richie: Run little man, run!
Oscar: Goddamn it. I **** believed in that kid.
Scott: He seemed so tough at first but then immediately wasn’t.
Oscar: That’s why I don’t **** with millennials.
Scott: Again, we are the millennials.
Oscar: You keep saying that but I don’t know what that means.
Igor: I regret my friendship with you guys.

View Quote [Raymond knocks on Margie's front door and she answers]
Raymond: Hello, my name is Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold.
Harold: I’m sorry.
Margie: What’s going on?!
Raymond: It seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos and my son was one of his victims!
Margie: I don’t understand! How do you know it was my son?! How did you get this address?!
Raymond: I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways.
Margie: You a cop?!
Raymond: No I’m a fireman. I work for a living. [Grabs Harold's right arm and holds it up] Look at this! You believe this?! See that there?! See that line?! I don’t know if you burn these off or what but we’re taking care of this and you’re paying for it, you understand me?!
Margie: Scott! [To Raymond] I’m so sorry. There’s an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work and it can completely remove it! I get a discount! I’m gonna pay for the whole thing! I don’t know what I’m saying! I feel terrible!
Raymond: You should feel terrible! Look at that!
Scott: [Pokes his head of his room, sees Ray and tries to run away] What’s up? Oh ****!
Raymond: There he is! Get your ass over here!
Scott: Hey, he said he was eighteen!
Raymond: He looks like he’s four you **** moron!
Scott: He consented!
Harold: He’s lying!
Scott: Harold, come on!
Raymond: Of course he’s lying! You can’t have consent! He’s nine years old!
Harold: Dad, let’s go! You’re embarrassing me!
Raymond: We’re not going anywhere! He’s just a little kid! What the **** is wrong with you?!
Scott: He was roaming around in the woods, he wanted a tattoo! Where were you?!
Raymond: I was at **** work!
Scott: **** you!
Raymond: If I was you I would shut your **** mouth because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail!
Scott: For what?!
Raymond: For sticking needles in a kid’s arm, you **** dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him?!
Margie: There’s no reason to call the cops! I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him!
Raymond: Well clearly you can’t or you wouldn’t have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will.
Harold: I asked him to do it.
Scott: That’s right. That’s my man.
Raymond: Go wait in the car, Harold. And don’t raise your voice at me either.
Scott: Later Harold.
Raymond: Don’t say goodbye to my kid.
[Harold crosses the street to the car]
Raymond: Look both ways! Look both ways!
Harold: I am!
Raymond: Watch your mouth!
Margie: [To Scott] Go to your room!
Scott: For your information I am not middle-aged. I am a twenty-four year old man and I am going to my room because I **** want to! [Scott leaves]
Raymond: What kind of animal are you raising in this house? I’m bringing you the bill, I don’t care what it costs. I mean what the **** is going on around here?
Margie: Just give me a day to arrange the laser!
Raymond: You know something?! Is his father home?! Where’s his dad?! I don’t want to **** yell at you!
Margie: He’s deceased.
Raymond: Well I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure if he was still around he would agree with the fact that you should still pay for it.

View Quote Gina: No, I'm not **** letting you take 'em. **** you. Who the **** are you?
Scott: Yeah, I- I agree with you completely. Why... 'cause that... It was Ray's idea. I don't think I should be taking them, either. I agree with you.
Gina: Are you a weirdo?
Scott: Oh, the weirdest. Nobody's weirder than me.
Gina: See, a weirdo wouldn't say that. A weirdo would deny it.
Scott: So, do I have to take 'em or...?
Gina: Yes. God, no. I mean, Ray was supposed to do it. I can't **** do it. Their schools start half an hour apart on the other side of town. So, your mom is banging my ex?
Scott: Yeah, I'm not thrilled about it, either.
Gina: Yeah, well, you shouldn't be. Harold. Kelly. Come here. Come here. There's something, something kind of fun. Come here. Come here.
Scott: Oh, hey, man.
Gina: So, this is Harold, and this is Kelly. And, uh, this is...
Scott: Scott.
Gina: Scott. He's gonna be taking care of you. Okay? It...
Harold: Nice to meet you, Scott.
Scott: Hi, Harold. It's nice to meet you. For the very first time.
Gina: If he does anything weird, you tell me. Even if he tells you not to tell me, you tell me. I'm pretty sure he's not weird, but I could be wrong. 'Kay? Love you. Okay.
Harold: Love you, Mom.
Gina: Seriously.
Kelly: Love you, Mom. Bye. [Scott walks off with Harold and Kelly]
Gina: Pay attention.
Scott: Got it.
Gina: Hold both their hands! Thank you. Look both ways!

View Quote Scott Carlin: Anyway, have a great day at school, ahh... . I hope its not shitty, and... umm... yea... give your sister a kiss goodbye.
Harold: We don't do that.
Scott Carlin: Just do it. [Harold kisses Kelly on the forehead] See, wasn't that nice? Now if she dies tomorrow, you'll remember that, that you kissed her goodbye. Have a good day at school.
Harold: Later man.
Scott Carlin: Pay attention.
Kelly: Why would I die?
Scott Carlin: I dunno... you never know what is going to happen. You think you're immortal?