Raymond quotes from The King of Staten Island (2020)

Hello, my name is Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold.

Harold

I’m sorry.

Margie

What’s going on?!

It seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos and my son was one of his victims!

Margie

I don’t understand! How do you know it was my son?! How did you get this address?!

I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways.

Margie

You a cop?!

No I’m a fireman. I work for a living. [Grabs Harold's right arm and holds it up] Look at this! You believe this?! See that there?! See that line?! I don’t know if you burn these off or what but we’re taking care of this and you’re paying for it, you understand me?!

Margie

Scott! [To Raymond] I’m so sorry. There’s an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work and it can completely remove it! I get a discount! I’m gonna pay for the whole thing! I don’t know what I’m saying! I feel terrible!

You should feel terrible! Look at that!

Scott

What’s up? Oh ****!

There he is! Get your ass over here!

Scott

Hey, he said he was eighteen!

He looks like he’s four you **** moron!

Scott

He consented!

Harold

He’s lying!

Scott

Harold, come on!

Of course he’s lying! You can’t have consent! He’s nine years old!

Harold

Dad, let’s go! You’re embarrassing me!

We’re not going anywhere! He’s just a little kid! What the **** is wrong with you?!

Scott

He was roaming around in the woods, he wanted a tattoo! Where were you?!

I was at **** work!

Scott

**** you!

If I was you I would shut your **** mouth because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail!

Scott

For what?!

For sticking needles in a kid’s arm, you **** dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him?!

Margie

There’s no reason to call the cops! I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him!

Well clearly you can’t or you wouldn’t have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will.

Harold

I asked him to do it.

Scott

That’s right. That’s my man.

Go wait in the car, Harold. And don’t raise your voice at me either.

Scott

Later Harold.

Don’t say goodbye to my kid.

Look both ways! Look both ways!

Harold

I am!

Watch your mouth!

Margie

Go to your room!

Scott

For your information I am not middle-aged. I am a twenty-four year old man and I am going to my room because I **** want to! [Scott leaves]

What kind of animal are you raising in this house? I’m bringing you the bill, I don’t care what it costs. I mean what the **** is going on around here?

Margie

Just give me a day to arrange the laser!

You know something?! Is his father home?! Where’s his dad?! I don’t want to **** yell at you!

Margie

He’s deceased.

Well I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure if he was still around he would agree with the fact that you should still pay for it.

And just- just stick to your guns. All right? It'll be fine. [Scott walks into the kitchen]

Margie

Hey! Come on in. Come have breakfast with us. I made pancakes and I made the sausage that you like. An omelette? Come sit.

These eggs are spectacular with the onions and the peppers. I love it.

Scott

Did he spend the night?

Margie

Yeah he slept here. In this house. I’m an adult, I can do that.

Margie

I need to talk to you about something. I was thinking that it’s time to think about getting your own apartment.

Scott

What? Why would you say that?

Margie

You are so awesome and I think I’ve been there for you too much. Sometimes in life the thing that’s motivating is when people don’t have that safety net.

Scott

Right but I need that safety net because I don’t have my shit together. Why are you doing this? Is this because of him?

Margie

No it’s just you’re twenty-four years old now.

Phelps had a fistful of gold medals by twenty-four.

Scott

Why are you talking?

I’m just giving you some perspective. Wayne Gretzky had like 96 goals when he was twenty-four. Roger Staubach graduated West Point, won a Heisman Trophy, fought in the Vietnam War and then joined the Cowboys by the time he was twenty-four.

Scott

I don’t know who that is. Who gives a ****?

Margie

I think that maybe you’re ready and you just don’t even know it.

Scott

So you’re kicking me out?

Margie

No I just want you to get your own apartment by summer.

Right so you’re kicking me out of the house.

It’s nine months from now. You could have a baby in nine months.

Scott

Are you moving in? Are you trying to push me out? What did I do? I though we were cool.

Let’s all be adults here. Your mother has worked very hard for a very long time and I’m gonna retire in a couple of years so things are gonna change around here but in a good way. We think you can do great things.

Scott

I know I’m gonna do great things. I don’t need you to tell me that. What’s going on? I don’t like this.

Margie

Be that as it may, until you leave, which is gonna be good for you and it’s gonna be motivating, you’re gonna have to pull your weight a little more around here. And one thing we thought would help you contribute and wouldn’t be hard to do is to help Ray bring his kids back and forth to school when he can’t do it because of work.

Like now. Like today.

Scott

You’re joking, right? You want me to take your kid to school? The kid I tattooed?

I got two kids. The other’s seven.

Scott

You’re gonna make me babysit your kids? I do drugs!

Looks like you’re walking.

Margie

And thank you.

Scott

I’m not cool with any of this, okay? And where do you expect me to live? And with what money? You know I’m a **** bum, right? This is **** up! Seriously. Especially after last night, all that bonding boy bullshit. You’re full of shit, man. You’re a **** liar. I’m gonna go walk your kids.

I knew I smelled you. The ****, Scott?

Scott

What?

Huh? What, are you spying on me now? You Magnum, P.I.?

Scott

What?!

Telling your mom that I'm homeless? You think it's funny to tell her that I'm a loser?!

Scott

What are you talking... No. What?!

What do you mean, what am I talking about?! You've been speak... You talking to my ex-wife?!

Scott

Uh, yeah. She's actually a really nice person.

Oh, is she?! Why don't you marry her?!

Scott

Yeah.

Why don't you marry her and see what the **** happens?!

Scott

Hey, I'm just trying to protect my mom from you, okay?! You're a **** psychopath!

Oh, I'm a psychopath?!

Scott

Yeah.

I've been nothing but nice to you! I tried giving you direction. You're too busy smoking your **** weed. And all you've been doing is trying to destroy everything that I have with Margie.

Scott

Because you're a **** loser, dude! You're a, you're a degenerate gambler in your-your mid-50s, who bets on the Jets! Uh, who... Have you not learned anything about betting?!

The Jets are gonna come back!

Scott

No, they're not! They got three number one **** picks! They're never gonna come back! They're never gonna come back!

I'm trying to give your mother a good life!

Scott

I... No, you're not, okay? You're a piece of shit, dude. You're a **** drug addict!

I'm a piece of shit?!

Scott

Yeah, you're a piece of shit!

I'm a **** loser?! You're the biggest loser I ever met in my **** life!

Scott

Oh, really? You should know.

Yeah?!

Scott

Yeah!

You surround yourself with them!

Scott

Oh, yeah? Why don't you try me?

Oh, really?

Scott

Why don't you try me?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah... This ain't gonna go how you think it's gonna go! So why don't you get the **** out of my... Really?! [Shoves Scott and knocking him to the ground]

Scott

**** asshole! [Gets up and lunges at Raymond]

Throw a **** punch at me?!

Scott

Oh, yeah.

Huh? You gonna cool off?! Come here, ****! You gonna cool off?! I'll **** cool you off. Yeah, I'll **** cool you off! [Picks up Scott and throws him into the pool]

Hey, you cool off now?! You're in there 'cause of your own actions!

Scott

Are you kidding me?! I'm gonna tell my mom you tried to drown me!

In an aboveground pool?! You're, like, **** eight feet tall!

Scott

You're lucky my dad isn't here! He would kick your ass!

Oh, yeah? Well, guess what, I knew your dad! Okay?!

Scott

Yeah?!

Yeah, I crossed paths with him a number of times! And you know what? He was even a bigger asshole than you are! [Scott gets out of pool and lunges at Raymond, throwing a punch with Raymond grabbing Scott around waist, grappling him and maneuvering him to the ground] All right, that's it, that's it! It's over! It's over. Huh?! Huh?! You like that?! You like that?!

Scott

Ow. Jesus! **** asshole!

Come on, tap out! Tap out!

Scott

**** you! No! Get me out! Let me out! No! No! Let me out! Oh, my God! Get me out!

Margie

What's the matter with you?!

Scott

He's a psycho.

No. We're just talking!

Margie

About what?!

About him telling you lies about me.

Scott

He's an animal. He picked me up and he threw me in the pool. All right? He has to go.

Margie

No, I need you to go. Now.

Scott

What? Why-why me? He-he's the one who started it.

Yeah, that's right. Get the hell out of here. And get a job and a life while you're at it. Your freeloading days are over.

Margie

You, too. Get going.

Wait, what did I do?!

Margie

You put your hands on my son! You're not respecting my family!

Scott

You're an animal!

Look, okay, just listen. Just calm down.

Margie

I don't have to calm down! What are... You're attacking my son! And you're, and you're making up lies! You made... You tricked me into thinking you're a good guy! You're not a good guy!

Right. Mm-hmm.

Margie

You're a **** small guy.

Margie, Margie, just let me explain this to you. Just let me talk to you, okay?

Margie

You are not in control of me!

Okay, okay, listen, all right? Okay, you don't have all the information you need. All right? Scott is acting out 'cause he's afraid to move on with his life. It's no different than when the Boston Red Sox finally won a World Series, okay?

Margie

Oh, my God.

They had, they had to get to a point where-where they believed, okay?

Margie

Just shut up.

All-all...

Margie

Shut the **** up.

All I did was just ask him a question, and he flipped out. So I put him in the water, which is soft. I diffused the situation. It was what-what m-my training's all about. I-I wa... I was totally diffusing the situation.

Margie

Do you ever shut up?! Do you ever just shut the **** up?! You just talk and you talK and you talk and you don't know what you're saying. It makes no sense. It's like you picked up all these little pieces of information from all over. They don't make any sense. They're fragments. No sense. Nonsense.

I-I'm not talking.

Margie

I've had it up to here. I'm done. Both of you, get your shit out of here! [She turns and walks away]

Margie. Oh, ****.

Scott

Well... Well, where do we go now?!

What are you asking me for?! You created this whole mess, you **** schmuck.