Kelsey You look a little like Antonio Banderas, if I squint my eyes a bit.
Played by Bel Powley 
The King of Staten Island (2020) · 31 quotes
The King of Staten Island (2020) · 31 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The King of Staten Island (2020): in 5 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Scott Carlin (3)
Thanks for the sex. It was wonderful until you started talking.
More lines from Kelsey
1 quote Kelsey Scenes with Kelsey
3 scenes
Security guard
Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys. Look, look. You can't be here, man. Y-You got to go.
Tara
Why?
Security guard
It's private property, that's why.
It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here?
Who gives a shit, man? What are you doing here? You **** protecting the ghosts of dead orphans?
Security guard
Look, fat Kanye, shut your damn mouth. I'll be back in five minutes [Oscar raises middle finger] for you assholes. If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period. [Walks away]
You better get the cops, man, 'cause you're a fake cop. You need the real ones. Mother****ers.
**** all of y'all.
I feel bad. We- we were a little too mean.
Yeah. He's nice.
Yeah, he's a really good guy.
Kelsey See that guy is what is wrong with Staten Island. We don’t get any of the cool people from any of the other boroughs. No one comes here. We’re stuck with the pricks who live here.
You’re talking about us, right in front of us.
Kelsey Kind of. I mean no one comes here! There’s no flow of people. That guy’s like two hundred. We’ve known him since we were six.
Tara
Why can’t this be like Brooklyn?
Kelsey There’s no reason we shouldn’t be cool like Brooklyn. We’ve got amazing views. It’s close to the city. It’s cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense.
We’re like the only place New Jersey looks down on. You could see the garbage dump from space. This place is never gonna change.
Kelsey No. It happened to the Meatpacking District, the Village. Brooklyn used to be a shithole. We’re next. I’m gonna take my civil service test. I’m gonna work for the city in city planning. You watch, this place is going to be **** Williamsburg in ten years.
Nobody wants that.
Why do you wanna work in the city and do city planning? That sounds so boring.
Tara
I feel like Brooklyn is better. I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn. He was a mixologist. He made ice cubes out of milk. He was so classy.
Shut up.
Kelsey I love Staten Island. It’s amazing. And people are gonna see it soon. Trust me.
If you love it so much, why don’t you let me tattoo it on you?
Kelsey No, I’m not letting you tattoo me again.
Well I need somebody to tattoo. Come on Rich, what about you man?
Don’t even look at me, dude.
Why?
[Points to tattoo of Obama tattoo on his arm]
Your work is mad inconsistent. Obama ain’t right.
I got the eyes wrong, okay?
He’s not right! This has hurt me. I don’t have any black friends anymore. I can’t go to a barber shop no more. You got Obama wrong. Ain’t nothing worse than that.
What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something?
I love your tattoos. My brother? It’s the spitting image. It’s my favorite. No this is my favorite. [Lifts his shirt to reveal a tattoo of a cat with his navel implied to be the anus]
You killed that.
I really worked hard on the eyes.
He’s so cute. I love his butthole. It reminds me that I have a belly button. So I’m good.
Kelsey I gotta go. Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad. And that’s freaking me out.
Jake
[Kelsey is at a restaurant with her date Jake]
I gotta be honest Kelsey, you look exactly like your picture. Or you’re thicker, more robust.
Kelsey Thank you. It’s a compliment. You look a little bit like Antonio Banderas if I squint really hard.
Jake
Please squint all night long! That's great, you look, Chelsea, I mean- Kelsey. I'm sorry.
Kelsey That's alright. What's your name again?
Jake
Um, it's Jake, [Scott appears clearing tables] sorry about that. So, uh, what do you do?
Kelsey I’m studying to work in the city. I want to make Staten Island a great place again.
Jake
Staten Island’s already cool, what’re you talking about?
Kelsey Yeah it is. You’re the first person here to say that.
Jake
It’s the best place on Earth. At least on the East Coast.
Kelsey [To Scott]
Excuse me. Oh. Hey.
Oh, hey. Hey.
Kelsey Hello. Hey.
Would you guys want still or sparkling water?
Kelsey [To date]
Um, you pick.
Jake
I’m more of a sparkling guy.
Kelsey Sparkling it is.
Jake
I do like tequila if I could get a Patrón with a rock?
Kelsey That’s fine.
Jake
Tequila on rock. You guys want warm bread? Or olive oil.
Deena
[Kelsey gets offended, then gets up and walks off]
Oh bro, did you scare off another customer? What's wrong with you?! [Scott takes off after Kelsey and Deena turns to Kelsey's date] I’m so sorry about that. He has like, nepotism, you know?
Kelsey's date: Is that a disease?
Deena
Yeah. It’s a bad one.
...
Kelsey I brought that guy here to make you jealous so that you could give a ****!
To make me jealous?!
Kelsey You don’t seem jealous or upset at all!
I do care. Of course I care.
Kelsey I chose the hottest guy on Tinder. Look at me! Look at my tits. It’s literally the Eiffel Tower holding them up in there.
You look great.
Kelsey Thank you.
Please don’t cry here. Please.
Kelsey You look awful.
What do you mean?
Kelsey Your skin looks see-through and the circles around your eyes are so dark you look like an anorexic panda.
I know I do.
Kelsey You always look sick and pale like you have a disease but you don’t know it yet. You literally look like if I touched you, you’d just turn to dust.
I’m sorry. I’m not doing very well.
Kelsey Tell him to **** off. I met him ten minutes ago. He’s a DJ.
Kelsey What are those numbers on your arm?
That's the date my dad died.
