[after being hit in the face with a rubber ball]
Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Albert Markovski
Jason Schwartzman · 20 quotes
Tommy Corn
Mark Wahlberg · 17 quotes
Brad Stand
Jude Law · 11 quotes
Bernard Jaffe
Dustin Hoffman · 10 quotes
Dawn Campbell
Naomi Watts · 9 quotes
Mr. Hooten
Jean Smart · 5 quotes
Mrs. Hooten
Jean Smart · 5 quotes
Vivian Jaffe
Lily Tomlin · 5 quotes
Most scenes together: Tommy Corn & Albert Markovski (6), Albert Markovski & Vivian Jaffe (4), Tommy Corn & Mrs. Hooten (4)
I Heart Huckabees quotes
Page 3 of 4Wake up, pretty girl, the joke is on you!
Shania cares!
You can't deal with my infinite nature, can you?
What?! Is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?!
There is no such thing as you or me,
Oh please, I don't think of myself as being that pretty.
[Brad whispers in her ear]
Yes, that changed at Huckabees. You know, I was never the pretty girl.
Really?
No! I just have to keep up with this gorgeous hottie.
How's the sex?
How is the sex?
The sex?
Come on, guys.
That's gross.
Our undercover surveillance shows it's been infrequent and short. Eight to nine minutes. Typically.
Surveillance? You've watched us?
No, just listened.
Yeah. It's quantity not quality.
She meant quality not quantity.
I know, I was only joking.
Were you joking when you said quantity and not quality?
We're private about our seven minutes of heaven!
It's longer than that, darling.
You should see her after a couple of margaritas.
God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?
I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.
I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!
If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.
*You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!
You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?
You shut up! You get out!
You shut up.
Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?
You mean the existential detectives?
Sounds like a support group.
Cricket
Why can't he use the church?
Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered.
Cricket
Like what?
Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real: the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?
The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!
I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!
It's amazing!
I know.
But it's also nothing special
Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.
[after being hit in the face with a rubber ball]
Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Caterine Vauban Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.
Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?
What happened to the cat, Albert?
How'd you know about my cat?
The cat was killed by curiosity.
Oh, that cat.
So Tommy, what do you do?
I'm a firefighter.
Congratulations, you're a hero.
I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!
Stevo, I'm so disappointed.
It's all right. Look, he's sad. He's sad.
I'm sorry Stevo. My bad. You didn't know.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I should be what?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
And why's that? Why whould I be ashamed of myself?
You're a hypocrite.
I'm a what?
You're misleading these children. 'Cause you're the destroyer, man.
How am I the destroyer?
I saw that S.U.V. out there.
My car's the destroyer? You wanna know how many miles per gallon I get?